Ok, bit of background, have been with my bf for 4 years, living together for 2 in rented flat with his db. I have a steady job l don't enjoy and am also studying pt, but only for my own enjoyment/education rather than training for a better career. BF has a career in an arts field, in which he makes a living,but it is v boom and bust. When i finish my course, i'd like to buy a house, as bank of mum and dad have said they will help me out with a deposit on a long-term loan basis.
At the moment, he is between jobs, and l freely admit to being jealous as hell of his career (its an area l tried to work in but was unsuccessful) and when l'm getting up at six to go to work, doing my homework on the bus, reading books in my lunch hour and then coming home to work on my essay, and find he hasn't even done the washing up, l feel pretty wound up. At the moment,we have totally separate finances, (although he owes me about a grand) and so its none of my business how he spends his time/money, but if we buy a house and combine our finances, that will change.
So my questions are:
a) would it be foolish/fair to expect him to change his attitude to money and housework if/when l buy a house?
b) he says his parents said they will also contribute to a deposit in a few years time, but l'm not keen on combining such large sums. Does that mean our r/ship is doomed?
c) ls it U of me to be unhappy with the idea of financially supporting my partner, and always being the main earner? It
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
to not want to financially support my partner?
82 replies
tigermoll · 20/02/2013 07:57
OP posts:
Adversecamber ·
20/02/2013 08:30
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Adversecamber ·
20/02/2013 08:33
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