to think that it is poor behaviour if children/teenagers play on their phones for 100% of the time at a meal out?

[FlouncingMintyy]

Bit of a reunion with old friends today. We are scattered far and wide so don't see each other all that often and have lots of children between us ages ranging from 8 to 14, who don't know each other particularly well but have certainly met before and seen each other from time to time.

There were more than 25 of us and the only way we could configure it in the restaurant was for the 8 children to sit on a table nearby.

Aibu to be really unimpressed that 3 of these kids simply played on their phones for the entire meal and made no effort to interact with the others?

My dd said that one boy (younger than her) literally did not speak at all.

[GloriaPritchett]

I normally would say YANBU, and I wouldn't be happy if it were my DC, but did they know one another? I wouldn't like to sit with 8 people I didn't know either.

[TWinklyLittleStar]

YABU in these circumstances, 14 year olds do not want to get to know 8 year old.strangers. Presumably they left you and your friends eating in peace to have fun rather than whining and complaining about being bored.

[HollyBerryBush]

They are being dragged out to a lunch where their parents are friends - utterly boring and Im impressed that anyone got a 14yo to go anywhere with a load of adults and little kids. Let alone parking them on a table by themselves.

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

YANBU.

But I fear that this is the future.

[Pagwatch]

I am a fucking dinosaur.
DCs not allowed phones or gizmos at the table. Even DS1 aged 19.

They can be bored for a couple of hours. It won't kill them.

[Pagwatch]

I mean to say YANBU

[catgirl1976]

YANBU

It is incredibly rude and the fact they didn't know each other is no excuse.

But I see adults doing this too

It's horrendous, but like Chaos I think it is sadly the future :(

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Well YANBU except that Ds has autism, and if that is the future of social interaction then yay for him!!!!

[Pagwatch]

Star. Ds2 isn't allowed either.
Bored schmored.

[badguider]

It's a horrible situation to put them together like that when they're not family and are at such an awkward age and when there's such a difference between an 8 yr old and 14yr old.

I think there is no way in which one table of 17 and one of 8 is fair - i'd have made three tables of around 8 and mixed the kids in. It was very unfair of the adults to arrange it how they did.

[cozietoesie]

I was going round a notable local graveyard some months back with a group led by an enthusiast. Guess what the teenagers in the group were doing?

What concerns me more than anything is that they no longer read. Books etc/

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Oh no. Ds isn't allowed. But I just think that the reduced demands for conversation and eye contact is a positive for him even I he doesn't have a gadget of his own.

[catgirl1976]

They might be reading on Kindles cozie

But still rude. Even if they are

DS is only 1 but he won't be allowed. Although by the time he's a teen people will probably have microchips grafted to their heads

[EuroShopperEnergyDrink]

YABU to park young adults on a table with 8 year olds and expect them to be mates and engage. How bloody patronising. I'd have sat and played on my phone and texted my mates too.

Perhaps get allow them to join your group next time and get in on your conversation rather than designating a kiddy table.

[EuroShopperEnergyDrink]

(I think phones at the table are unacceptable FYI- but I can see why teenagers would be stroppy and texting and facebooking if mum and dad had dragged them out and shoved them on a table with a load of kids- if you cared so much about conversation and socialising you would have had them sat amongst you!)

[FlouncingMintyy]

But the whole reason we were together is to see our adult friends who we don't see very often. The children were 14, 12, 12, 12, 12, 10, 10 and 8. The person who proposed and organised this get together is someone who doesn't live where most of the rest of us do but was very definitely the host. It was her two children and one of the other 12 year olds who spent their time entirely on the phone. All the rest of them managed to socialise.

[Pagwatch]

Sorry Starlight. I did get what you meant. It was just a lame joshing. Sorry.

[FlouncingMintyy]

I think once in a while it is ok to ask children - heavens even 14 year olds! - to accommodate the preferences of the adults.

[cozietoesie]

They don't read catgirl. Sorry.

[FlouncingMintyy]

I'm quietly amazed that the two parents concerned didn't tell them to just get off their bloody phones. Parents who are scared of saying no to their kids, or just oblivious to how awful it looks?

[GogoGobo]

YANBU. Good learning experience missed for the older ones to "host" the younger ones and socialise with strangers! What will they do in the real world when they have to rub along with randoms!

[EuroShopperEnergyDrink]

The only thing anti-social is the kids table. I bet they wouldn't have had their phone out if they were mixed in amongst the adults.

I know it's the hosts fault- and not yours, but it was a poor choice of restaurant if that was the seating arrangements.

If you want to treat them like babies, don't expect them to be stroppy and fannying around on phones. This is an age where they should indeed be mixing with adults, having conversations and socialising- and basically learning how to behave in this situation. You can't expect them to learn this if their parents have a 'seen not heard' mentality if it comes to kids- which is why it makes sense that the hosts children were the main offenders