to think "Valentine's Day is too commercial" is a poor excuse

(53 Posts)
printmeanicephoto Fri 15-Feb-13 10:55:23

DH didn't get me a card yesterday using above as reason again. He has never bought me a card or given me anything on Valentines Day over the 20 years of our marriage on principle (he's into his principles!). The principle being love should be shown every day and that you don't need one particular day or present to show how much you love someone (the same reason was given to not buy me an engagement ring 20 years ago - I did get a wedding ring).

As usual I bought him a card and present yesterday. Does he have a point? Would you be happy with the above "principle" - or would you think: "What a tight-wad, he obviously couldn't be bothered"?

And no he doesn't buy me flowers or presents at other times of the year. I do get a birthday card and sometimes a nice meal out on my birthday and occasionally a Christmas present.

Pandemoniaa Fri 15-Feb-13 18:24:44

I agree with him on it being commercial. Me and my husband don't do it. I've always hated it. I just don't see what's romantic about looking at the calendar, seeing that it's the 14th of February and joining a massive queue of people buying roses, chocolates, cuddly bears or whatever who also looked at the calendar, saw it was the 14th of February and knew that they had to be romantic

This.

But the difference between us, and you, OP is that both DP and I agree that Valentine's Day is a pile of commercialised shyte. We really have absolutely no time for it and treat it with contempt. But that's mutual contempt. If he were to suddenly come home with cards and presents on 14th February I'd think he had lost his marbles.

It doesn't stop us exchanging gifts at other times of the year though.

I'm a bit surprised that after 20 years of marriage you expect your DH to suddenly behave differently, tbh. It might be that he is a tightwad but it may also be that he takes a principled stance and it would be U to expect him to do differently.

HecateWhoopass Fri 15-Feb-13 18:47:21

" it would be one of the only times in the year I might get something nice from him. He doesn't do presents, flowers or whatever the rest of the year."

That makes really sad reading. And, if I might be so bold - more of a problem than the lack of a card on they day of the year when everyone's doing it because they're told that's the day of the year to do it.

If you get something because someone feels they have to give it to you - it's meaningless anyway. If you have to demand it - it's worthless.

Anything that doesn't come from the heart isn't worth having.

doing something that you really don't want to do, just because someone is forcing you to, just because if you don't, they're going to sulk or whathaveyou, or they demand it of you. Well. I wouldn't want that gift anyway - would you?

ethelb Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:00

Yes it is a shit excuse OP. In face if I had a DP that did that I would be expecting some grand declaration of love for the following 364 days a year if they think you should do so 'just because'. They could review their principles the following Valentines day grin.

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