to sleep in the living room tonight

(68 Posts)
ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 21:53:21

baby is 9 months old. the last week she's been waking every 2 hours. Her best ever sleep is waking 3 times. She won't go back to sleep without me feeding her. I'm so tired, and sick of it. shall i sleep in the living room tonight and leave my husband to deal with her?

BubblegumPie Wed 13-Feb-13 21:54:36

are you bf or ff?

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 21:55:55

breast feeding.

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 13-Feb-13 21:56:24

Does your DH help out in the night, are you BFing?

NotSoNervous Wed 13-Feb-13 21:56:28

I would, a night of sleep will do you the world of good. Is she waking for food or just comfort?
If your bf could you leave your DH a bottle of EBM ?

BigAudioDynamite Wed 13-Feb-13 21:56:37

will he deal with her? Or come get you?

BubblegumPie Wed 13-Feb-13 21:57:05

it sounds like a growth spurt, would you consider co sleeping until she starts sleeping a bit better? I know it's not for everyone but it does mean you get a lot more sleep!

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 13-Feb-13 21:57:39

X post, she is probably having a growth spurt or just thirsty, have you tried settling with some water, does she fall back to sleep on the breast?

formallyknownasloveydarling Wed 13-Feb-13 21:58:39

YABU. She isn't doing it on purpose you know.
(and yes, I do know how sleep deprivation feels; my kids are the worst sleepers ever)!

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 21:58:49

he just sleeps through the whole thing. will try and help if i'm at the end of my tether and ask him. sometimes successfully cuddles her back to sleep. sometimes she only wants me and goes ballistic.

she hasn't as yet ever taken a bottle.

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Wed 13-Feb-13 21:59:22

I wonder if that would work really, if she's feeding at night. Does she sleep any better in with you? I sympathise with you on lack of sleep, so hard.

SirBoobAlot Wed 13-Feb-13 21:59:23

It sounds like a growth spurt, a bug or teething. It's hard going but we all need a mothers when we're feeling rubbish. Second the co-sleeping suggestion. She's still really little, it won't last forever.

SirBoobAlot Wed 13-Feb-13 22:00:21

In that case you are going to get even less sleep if you leave him to it. Go to bed now, get some hours in early.

BeaWheesht Wed 13-Feb-13 22:01:21

I know it's tempting but I think get your dh to try and settle her for 5 minutes and if its not looking hopeful just feed her, she's only tiny and believe me I know what exhaustion is like, utterly debilitating, but she's just a baby.

Or co-sleep?

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 22:01:33

i'm just finding that the lack of sleep is affecting how I feel about her, I'm just so tired and fed up and have no patience.

I sthere a growth spurt at nine months.

I'm co sleeping probably 60% of the time, not through choice but through tiredness and falling asleep whilst feeding her. To be honest, I hate it. I just want my bed back and some space.

BubblegumPie Wed 13-Feb-13 22:02:19

Kick DH out instead? wink

Branleuse Wed 13-Feb-13 22:02:28

you'll wake up with football boobs and Will probably hear her anyway but could be worth a try

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 22:04:36

i want my bed with my husband and to be able to sleep more than 2 hours in a row.

If i go through there and go to bed she'll wake up. She always does. It's like she can smell me. Just as I'm dropping off she wakes up and that's me, stuck in tortuous sleep/non sleep for the rest of the night, wishing the hours away till morning. I hate it

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 22:06:33

gah, the majority telling me not to.

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 13-Feb-13 22:06:39

Have you tried letting DH give her a bottle of BM? She may not take it from you because of the boob thing but sometimes they will feed with some one else when hungry.

Worth a try but if not I'd kick DH out so you can stretch out and try for some extra sleep.

So shit when you are sleep deprived

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 13-Feb-13 22:07:53

Does she sleep in your room, do you have another room for her to sleep in?

DewDr0p Wed 13-Feb-13 22:07:53

OP when my middle one was little and we were all suffering terribly with the effects of his reflux, sometimes I used to sleep in our spare room (which is quite away from the other bedrooms) - when he woke dh would bring him to me to feed and then take him away again to wind and settle. (if no spare room I would definitely have kipped on the sofa instead)

Would that help you? It saved my sanity.

BeaWheesht Wed 13-Feb-13 22:08:00

Well you need to make long term changes you can't just suddenly not feed her tonight.

Try during daytime to get her to take a bottle from dh - not when she's starving and tired. Also PLEASE work out a safe co- sleeping arrangement - that's much better than what you're doing now, it can be so dangerous.

Do you have PND? Maybe speak to your HV?

ditziness Wed 13-Feb-13 22:08:26

i haven't got any ebm. When do people find time to express when they've got toddlers and babies?

does it make sense that i'm so tired, but i'm too scared to go through there and try and sleep?

UKSky Wed 13-Feb-13 22:08:27

Why not kick DH onto the sofa for one night and you snuggle up in bed with your DD. Or even, have all of you in bed and let DD feed as and when she wants to.

I remember this time, and it feels like it's never going to end and that you're going mad through lack of sleep.

Start off with your DD in her normal sleeping place and then pop her into your bed when she wakes up. One day, in the not too distant future, you will wake up partially refreshed and realise that you have slept all night.

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