to end a pregnancy without DH's knowledge

(151 Posts)
uggbug Mon 11-Feb-13 20:15:42

Background: I am once of those idiots who I have always laughed at who has fallen PG by accident. After my DD2 I went on to Cerazette which made my hair fall out even more. Ditched it, made DH use condoms. He would (TMI) put it in pre the really exciting part to 'see how nice it feels'. Then take it and put condom on. Yes I am a fool, a twat and all those other things. I am 34 and have behaved like a thick 14 yr old. He said among other things (correctly)...'come on, it took 18 mths to get PG with DD2 - you're not going to get PG with some foreplay'. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Anyway. Am PG. 2-3 weeks. 100% no more kids for me. Our marriage only just survived the last 2. He says he doesn't want any more, but I suspect when confronted with this situation may or may not be 1%+ in doubt of that. If I tell him, then insist on a very early (drugs) termination, I run the risk that he will secretly hate me for ever. Every time we talk about 'ha ha,2 is enough isn't it!' it will be tainted by this memory. He may see me as a hard bitch. It may break us in the long term?

I am considering just going to doc tomorrow and doing it. On my own. No support. Will have to go through it by myself. No 'lesson' for DH that you can't just push to have sex as you like and get away with it (I am taking equal responsibility here BTW).

BUT no guilt for me relating to him. He never knows. He is already stressed to the max at work. I know he should have a say, but what is the point if I AM NOT HAVING ANOTHER, EVER?

??? Flame away. I am agonising.

jojane Tue 12-Feb-13 18:59:41

I fell pregnant at the end of last year, we already have 3 aged 6 and under, so don't want anymore due to finances, space etc. I wasn't going to tell DH, went to doctors to start the process but when I got there the doctor was a mother of my DDs friend who had just qualified as a GP and I didn't recognise her maiden name, I was mortified and just explained it was personal and I would rather see another doctor. I took it as a sign that I needed to tell dh, took me a few weeks to pluck up the courage though so I ended up having to have a medical procedure. Not sure what the pill option after affects are but I needed a couple of days in bed so wouldn't really have been able to hide it from DH. We both hated making the situation (dh More so than me) but I am glad I told him as if he ever found out he would have hated me for not involving him.

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