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AIBU?

Me or dh who is bu?

16 replies

bettybigballs · 10/02/2013 06:38

I am furious and not really thinking straight, need some perspective.

Last night we hosted a dinner for dh's friends and family. Up at six thirty am yesterday to fit the cooking in. Had a lovely time and it was decided I'd get a lie in today - actually, the kids aren't here so we'd both get a lie in.

I've had some sleeping problems in the past which are sorted but I still have a quirk where if if I wake up in the night I can't have a conversation as it switches my brain into awake mode- this happens no matter what time it is.

At 5am, I go to the loo and get back into bed. Dh then starts pestering me for sex. We end up having a conversation about how I'd like to be able to have some more sleep. Having had the conversation I was wide awake so got up. He's gone straight back to sleep.

I am bu to be really fucked off that I'm going to be shattered all day just because he didn't want to wait a couple of hours. I know he's a horny toad and wants sex but FFS, he could be less selfish.

He thinks I'm overreacting and I'd be able to get back to sleep if I did some deep breathing. Dick.

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AKissIsNotAContract · 10/02/2013 06:42

Not sure who IBU really. It's hard for a good sleeper to understand how hard it is for a poor sleeper. Wouldn't a shag get you back to sleep?

MrsMangoBiscuit · 10/02/2013 06:55

I think this depends on how well he understands your quirk. I too am one of those who can't just drop back off to sleep. If I've had 5 hours and I wake and have to think aboutanything I can't sleep again. Sometimes meditating can help, but if DH has been particularly thoughtless I'm usually too annoyed. I have explained this to DH, as he only needs to shut his eyes and he's out, and he is usually pretty careful not to wake me up fully.

If your DH has no problems sleeping, he probably doesn't realise how selfish his actions were. However, if he knows full well that he's just woken you for the day, wake him up and tell him to make you breakfast in bed!

Lueji · 10/02/2013 07:08

Pestering for sex is like pestering for anything else. It's still pestering and it's annoying, and it wakes you up. One no should be enough, and if he knows you can't go back to sleep is even worse.

Maybe he does pester you on purpose because he knows you will wake up and then decide you might as well do it anyway?
But not considering that he'll get back to sleep soon after, but not you?

It would get me really annoyed.

Next time, start vacuuming the room, and change the sheets, as you are already awake.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 10/02/2013 07:10

Hmm, no kids? I'd have g

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 10/02/2013 07:12

Sorry, my DD just nudged my arm for attention! Pesky child

Hmm, no kids? I'd have gone for the shag tbh, & I'm a bit of an insomniac. Might as well enjoy being awake.

ChristmasJubilee · 10/02/2013 07:15

YANBU, but it's time he was up! Get on with the house work now and make sure you get plenty me time later. What time are the children coming back. Today is bond with Daddy day.

RedHelenB · 10/02/2013 07:25

You were awake anyway cos you'd gone to the loo!

RedHelenB · 10/02/2013 07:25

So YABU.

LondonInHighHeeledBoots · 10/02/2013 10:01

I think YANBU. A no should be enough. You wanted to sleep, that is a valid as him wanting sex. And he doesn't get to decide how easily you will get back to sleep.

I'm like that - if I speak or DO anything when I wake up, that is it, I am up and can't sleep. There is no way in HELL DP would be getting any at 5.30 in the morning and if he kept me awake pestering, he wouldn't be getting any for a good long while either.

RedHelenB · 10/02/2013 10:41

But she already WAS awake cos she's been to the loo, maybe even waking dh up in the process!! BUANBU to say no to sex & he shouldn't have pestered you.

TheCatIsEatingIt · 10/02/2013 11:27

You can go to the loo on autopilot. A conversation's different, it does wake you up properly. YANBU.

BinksToEnlightenment · 10/02/2013 11:52

I'm on your side, because I'm exactly the same.

But I might not be so furious thinking back on it a month later.

Apileofballyhoo · 10/02/2013 13:47

YANBU

chocoluvva · 10/02/2013 13:49

That's not a quirk - it's normal.

Ask your DH to do something nice just for you in return.

maddening · 10/02/2013 15:14

Wake him up and pester him for company and maybe a hug and a cup of coffee.

Trills · 10/02/2013 15:16

Was it pestering?

Or was it just a suggestion/request?

When you are tired it's hard to tell the difference.

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