To think that many parents believe their kids can do no wrong?

(110 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Fri 08-Feb-13 21:10:58

Of course it's natural to think that our children are wonderful and amazing but I work in a school, I have done teacher training and I am amazed at how many parents cannot believe that their children are merely human and therefore just as capable of wrong doing as the next child.
So far I have had a mother complaining that I 'pick' on her child. To which I replied that if her offspring wasn't so badly behaved then I wouldn't have to discipline her.
I sent someone out for throwing a major sulk when I asked her to do some work and to get her feet off the table (she wouldn't). Her mother has now insisted that she no longer comes to my tutorial.
I am constantly hearing stories about parents who refuse to acknowledge the wrongdoings of their young.
Surely we do our kids a great disservice by NOT bollicking them when they have done wrong or by not acknowledging that are even capable of wrong doing in the first place?

Plus I also think that as a generation we are all very confused as to how best discipline our kids...me included. The consistency thing...I'm no expert.

aamia Sun 10-Feb-13 21:49:42

And to the OP, I think most parents are reasonable - or maybe I'm just lucky, as in the school I work in the parents are pretty supportive. But then I haven't been there very long so we'll see!

countrykitten Sun 10-Feb-13 22:03:39

An excellent post aamia.

MyDarlingClementine Sun 10-Feb-13 22:15:01

I have seen this first hand on many an occasion by a DM totally oblivious to her DS behaviour which seemed so pre meditated even for an under 5.

Absoluteeightiesgirl Mon 11-Feb-13 10:06:58

aamia
Beautifully put

Dawndonna Mon 11-Feb-13 10:26:21

Generally speaking, I think most parents are aware of the manner in which their children behave when at school. I also think most parents do support the school. I know my children have been bullied, both by pupils and staff. The staff were disciplined as well as the school. I made sure of it, and yes, it was a state school.
Ds2 attended an independent school. He has Asperger syndrome and was the type to correct spelling etc. Independent school understood this, and encouraged him to correct spelling mistakes. In my experience this does not happen in state schools to the same extent, having said that dds school have a new head who is actively encouraging such behaviour.
Yes, I am the parent that complains about grammar and spelling. I would complain about yours op.
Bollocking. Warrants. Independent. Families.

atthewelles Mon 11-Feb-13 11:26:14

I do think this behaviour from parents is on the increase. I have heard of so many occasions where people have called into a neighbour to complain, quietly and reasonably, about children making noise, running into gardens, kicking footballs against cars and front doors etc. only to be met by indignation, defensiveness or a rude 'my child has a right to play where he wants' attitude.
A friend of mine who's a teacher has also noticed this attitude from parents who cannot be told that their child is in the wrong about anything and will defend them to their last breath.

As a result these parents are raising rude, ill mannered brats totally oblivious to the rights of anyone around them or the effects and consequences of their behaviour.

LaQueen Mon 11-Feb-13 13:42:34

I see our DDs very, very clearly and am well aware of their faults. I'm pretty strict with them, and I expect high standards of good manners/pleasant behaviour - but, this is because I love them, and I want other people to love/like them, too.

I have a friend who constantly excuses her DC's poor behaviour with the same excuses over and over again 'They're hungry...they're tired...they're worried about the match tomorrow...'

No. They're really poorly behaved because you are a useless, ineffectual parent who allows them to behave in a socially unacceptable manner - and you really, really need to take responsibility for that.

And, the end result is that none of the other parents like these children and are reluctant to invite them into their homes.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 13:46:36

I didn't think my children never did wrong ,but I'm always on their side and didn't tell them off constantly just to make me look like a good mother.

GingerbreadGretel Mon 11-Feb-13 14:15:55

MarriedInWhite - there is a school near here with a well-documented and appalling record of teachers abusing children which stretches back almost half a century. It is a private school. Should I assume that every private school teacher abuses children?

KellyElly Mon 11-Feb-13 15:53:34

I don't think many parents think their children do no wrong. I just think some parents have a hard time hearing it from other people.

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