To feel completely different towards dog since having DD

(171 Posts)
Geekster Fri 08-Feb-13 19:10:05

We have a dog who we have always adored. But since we had DD last year, we feel different about her. We still really like her but not in the same way and sometimes she's a nuisance like trying to get DD's food. Don't get me wrong we would never hurt our dog or want anything bad to happen to her, and there is no way we would get rid of her. I always thought I would never feel like this, but do since we had DD. The dog has been good with DD though obviously we never leave them alone together. We will still be very upset when she dies but not distraught like we would have before DD. It doesn't make me a cold hearted bitch feeling like this, or does it?

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 19:48:45

disgusted? why? They were very young cats and one was forever wanting attention, there was no way I was keeping them due to knowing that there have been cases of suffocation due to a cat sitting on a childs face wanting their milk.

Cats were given to a loving home by the way --I didn't tie them in a bag and throw them in the river you know.

FantasticMax Fri 08-Feb-13 19:48:52

YANBU ... I feel exactly the same about my cat, although I still love her and would really miss her if she died, since having DD my focus had shifted away. It makes me sad. I would never give her up though. The cat has been so good with the baby and I make sure I give her plenty of cuddles after baby's gone to bed.

Sparklingbrook Fri 08-Feb-13 19:49:52

I was wondering how long it would take for the milk/suffocation thing to come up. sad

Happiestinwellybobs Fri 08-Feb-13 19:51:19

I find this really sad. Our pooch was certainly a child substitute after TTC for ten years. Yes, he isn't a child but he is our fur baby - he goes to daycare and everything grin. When we adopted DD, there was a shift in the household - and obviously we had to do things a bit differently, but we included him in everything so there wouldn't be any jealousy. Almost a year on, I love him just as much as ever, my DD and him adore one another, and I shout at them both as though we have two kids when they are both causing chaos together.

Indeed sparkling.

ilovesooty Fri 08-Feb-13 19:52:03

So you didn't consider your cats a serious, long term responsibility, Clipped?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Fri 08-Feb-13 19:53:52

YANBU, OP. I think our feelings towards our animals do shift ever so slightly when children come on the scene. My dogs were everything to me. When my dc came along they probably got a little less attention, but I made up for that (hopefully!) by making sure they got even better walks with me and the pram, as I had more time on ML. As a bonus the kids got out every single day with the dogs- come hail/ snow/ shine- and grew into healthy, well-walked children, with a healthy relationship with dogs. As the kids got older, and needed me a little less, the dogs did too, and needed me a little more. Walking the dogs was always one of my main priorities- I felt I had responsibilities to them as well as to my kids, and that didn't change because I decided to have children.

Hoping the pp who "got rid of the cats" is just being inflammatory.

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen Fri 08-Feb-13 19:54:39

Are you sure you feel differently?
You probably love your dog the same. Loving your own child is wonderfully all consuming. You can't compare the two.

echt Fri 08-Feb-13 19:56:02

Our dear old mog took a back seat for a few years, but re-emerged to be DD's friend, happy to be lugged around like a sack of spuds by any visiting child. He died at a ripe old, age, DD having grown up with him.

A dog is different, they need I find, so much more direct love and attention. I think of how our dog literally follows us from room to room, and looks into our faces for us to look back. If I could't give a dog the attention it had had, and it was unhappy, I'd re-home it. sad

This is not the same as feeling differently towards them, but behaving differently so they feel unhappy.

It's fine to feel differently about an animal when a child is born. I don't think it's ok to treat a living creature as a disposable object.

Bowlersarm Fri 08-Feb-13 19:57:32

Geekster why haven't you come back to your thread?

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 19:58:06

No ilovesooty, they were for christmas grin

NuzzleMyScratch Fri 08-Feb-13 19:59:30

Wow Clipped. I think the cats are better off without you.

MrsJamin Fri 08-Feb-13 20:00:07

Went through a similar thing but with cats - its reassuring that others have had a similar time. However now littlest child is getting not so little, we are all yearning for having cats again!

ilovesooty Fri 08-Feb-13 20:01:05

I think they had a lucky escape, Nuzzle. I can't imagine why she got them in the first place, or thinks her latest response is funny.

Sparklingbrook Fri 08-Feb-13 20:02:01

I think then I should have rehomed DS1 when DS2 came along. He was a very attention seeking toddler.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 20:03:49

Bunfight grin

NatashaBee Fri 08-Feb-13 20:04:51

YANBU, i felt the same thing about my cats tbh, for a while they were just an extra thing that needed attention. I will say though, that in the last couple of months, DS (who is now 18mo) has developed a real love for animals. His first words were 'cat' and '[cat's name], and he absolutely loves them... toddles up to them and says 'hello cat!' and tries to stroke them. He does need constant supervising around them but it is really sweet to see. I'm sure when your DD gets a big bigger, she will love the dog to bits and you'll find things a bit easier, as long as your house is set up so you can let the dog have some peace and keep them separate if needed.

Sparklingbrook Fri 08-Feb-13 20:05:55

More like catfight Clipped. sad

Pigsmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 20:06:13

If my cat doesn't calm down I will have to rehome him, last resort though.

Bowlersarm Fri 08-Feb-13 20:07:06

Not nice Clipped animals are tooooo serious subject for bunfighting

stubbornstains Fri 08-Feb-13 20:07:29

Yes sad

It was just me and my cat for so long. Now I have DS, and unfortunately his babyhood and toddlerhood is coinciding with her old age. If I could have decently rehomed her I would have, but she's too old, and frankly I feel like I'm just waiting for her to die.

When I'm exhausted from work and have just manhandled DS through the door, the last thing I need is another stinking cat turd on the carpet- she was always so clean, but like I said, she's old now. Pretty much senile in fact.

It makes me wary of ever having another cat ever again when this one dies, just in case I run out of love again sad

katiecubs Fri 08-Feb-13 20:09:38

I feel like this about our cat too I think - before she was my baby and I was besotted with her but now having DC in some ways I think more how much of an added responsibility she is.

I still love her though and would never get rid of her - its just like other people have said pets have to take the back seat.

TheCountessOlenska Fri 08-Feb-13 20:10:02

YANBU to feel differently. I felt the same about our cat when we first had DD . . . and I felt funny about DH for a good year shock blush , his face looked too big and all wrong!! (Didn't get rid of the cat or DH grin and love them both again now)

NorbertDentressangle Fri 08-Feb-13 20:11:41

I think its quite common to change how you feel about your pets when you have a baby (although thankfully I don't think its common to 'get rid' of them hmm)

When I had DD I found the cat annoyed me. I realised that after spending all day with a fractious, colicky baby who wouldn't settle I was getting really irritated when I finally got to sit down without a baby attached me only to have our overly affectionate cat appear on my lap with her nose in my face 0.5 second later.

In the long run she had to adjust to a new way of life post baby, just as we had to!

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