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AIBU?

I can't fucking believe this! Justice in this country is an absolute fucking joke! Warning triggers

68 replies

BacardiNCoke · 04/02/2013 13:48

5 years ago, when she was 15 my DSD was raped. The guy had previous and was sent down for 13 years. He's getting out on Friday! We thought he was going to be banned from the city but apparently not only the city centre, fat lot of fucking good that will do! But the icing on the cake is he's moving into the street around the corner from our house! You can see the fucking houses from our living room FFS!

DSD has just rang me from work she's in pieces! I mean the likelihood is she's going to bump into him at some point. And that's only if she's lucky. She's had threats from his family over the past 5 years, at one point they turned up at the shop she worked in and she ended up having to get transferred.

I'm worried sick. Worried for DSD, what if they target her again. (It wasn't a random attack). Worried for mine and my smaller dds safety. Worried DH will do something fucking stupid. Her contact from the police did say that they could have us moved. But what does that entail exactly? We live in a HA house atm it means we have a secure tenancy for life, something that we want to cling on to. Also both me and DH are on the dole since he was made redundant last summer so that doesn't give us a lot of options rent wise. Are my dd's going to have to change schools? Massive meltdowns will entail once that one from dd1 who has ASD.

Am in a state of complete panic right now.

OP posts:

Report

PacificDogwood · 04/02/2013 13:51

I am so sorry you and your DSD are finding yourselves in this position.
I am afraid I don't have much helpful to say, but did not want to read and run.

It does seem a bit callous to allow him to move so close to his vicitim. I have no idea whether this is something that is normally considered?
Is your police contact person a good source of support to you?
It does seem very unfair that they would consider moving you rather than him.

zumbaholic · 04/02/2013 13:53

Can you get a restraining order or something? im sure these can state how near a person someone can go-so it may be possible you could stop his move nr to you by this? no idea but something to look into maybe?

MrsBucketxx · 04/02/2013 13:55

could the probation service help you, other than that you could try and get an injunction to stop him and his family harassing you.

as you are not working you will be entitled to legal aid, you need to see a solicitor I think.

ScarletLady02 · 04/02/2013 14:00

That's awful....why the hell should YOU have to be the ones who move? Your poor DSD. I second the poster who mentioned a restraining order. Might be worth looking into. At least that way if he is hanging around she can do something. It might make her feel she has some control over what is happening.

Not sure what else to say but wanted to show support x

Nancy66 · 04/02/2013 14:02

I know sentences get cut but serving less than half is terrible.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I know it's wrong, I know you shouldn't have to...but, in your shoes, I think I would relocate.

ILoveTIFFANY · 04/02/2013 14:04

Speak to HA.... They could help ... But does dsd actually live with you?

KenLeeeeeee · 04/02/2013 14:05

That's awful. No, it's worse than that; it's fucking ridiculous and shite. I'm lost for words. Your poor family, especially your DSD .

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 04/02/2013 14:05

If moving is something you are looking at you can do a house swap, there are lots of sites for this and you will still be with a HA. You shouldn't have to but its worth looking into.

I'm so sorry your family is going through this, the 'justice' in this country is ridiculous.

andubelievedthat · 04/02/2013 14:07

This the all 2 common "have to consider the life of the criminall as well" goody fucking 2 shoes liberals attitude we have in this country! my daughter had much the same only he got sooper good solicitor a social worker ,and all the rest ,legal technicality, 3 years sentence, out in 18 months and now lives several miles from my daughter ,no doubt planning his next attack bet his new neighbours have not been told about his previous ,its fucking scary whats out their right now! sorry i cannot sort this for you,i wish i could.

GetOrf · 04/02/2013 14:07

That is awful, I am so sorry.

Have you had any liaison with victim support to do with this?

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 04/02/2013 14:10

please discuss this with the probation service
they have a Victim Liaison Unit
without knowing precise details about the offence/offender I cannot say exactly what their powers would be, but they DO have powers to control where an offender lives in relation to victims

BacardiNCoke · 04/02/2013 14:11

Thanks for replying. Yes she does live with us. I've contacted the HA and I'm waiting for the housing officer to ring me back. I think we know he's going to be so close we do need to relocate. We would feel safer that way. She wasn't able to tell me all the details because she was in work so I'll speak to her properly later, am hoping the police may be able to help relocate us.

OP posts:

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 04/02/2013 14:12

bacardi, another vote for the restraining order (although I think the name of them has changed these days). You do have to push for it though - my sister was beaten up by her (now ex-) fiance, and she managed to get an order that he wasn't allowed to come near her, her family, or her house or work. She had to keep asking and keep asking to get it - sadly, it wasn't automatic.

I really feel for you, it's horrific to make her go through this pain and fear when she's already had a bloody awful thing happen. As much as you might be reeling from this, do fight on her behalf, and don't give up. Take care. x

cumfy · 04/02/2013 14:15

Can't understand how probation would OK the property he's moved to.

And how did he get out so early ?

OscarPistoriusBitontheside · 04/02/2013 14:16

OP I have no advice for you, but want to send you my virtual support. How appalling for you all and especially out dsd.

GetOrf · 04/02/2013 14:17

Yes please contact the probation office - they should have a victim liaison unit. Their job is to prevent terrible things like this (his moving near you).

What a hideous situation, I hope they can help.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 04/02/2013 14:18

I am so very sorry. It seems terribly unfair that a man can commit rape, serve less than half his sentence and then be allowed to move around the fucking corner from his victim. Disgusting.

Andro · 04/02/2013 14:39

How on earth is he getting out prior to serving half his sentence? Was he remanded in custody pending/throughout his trial?

feministefatale · 04/02/2013 14:45

Her contact from the police did say that they could have us moved

Well yeah, that seems fair move the victime on so she doesn't cause any problems for him I guess... Fucking ridiculous.

So sorry for your daughter and your family and what you are going through right now.

It's horrible, and you should not in any way be asked to move... but I would do it in your circumstances. I would move to a nearby town where you can keep up with family but not have to worry about bumping in to this person all the time. Or if You haven't got a large family network in your town, I would just fucking move, as far away as possible.

flow4 · 04/02/2013 15:36

I am so sorry you and your DSD are in this position Bacardi.

I suggest you contact Victim Support - 0845 3030900. They may be able to help you. Here is their booklet on violent crime You/your DSD should have been asked about whether you wanted to be notified of his release, and you should have been asked if you had any concerns, and your concerns can affect conditions of his release. It might not be too late for this to happen.

Even if you can't influence where he lives, you probably can get an injunction to keep him away from you. He will be on probation and under supervision after his release. He will also be on the sex offenders register. If there is any hint of threat or danger to your DSD, you or your younger DSD, then report it. It may be possible to get him removed from the area or, if he commits any further offence or is considered to be at risk of re-offending, he could be re-called to prison.

I think it would be worth re-posting this thread in Legal to see if you can get some further advice from lawyers or other legal professionals...

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 04/02/2013 15:39

This leaflet gives information as to what you can expect from the Probation Service Victim Liaison Unit. If you google Probation Service Victim Liaison and your area, you should able to find their contact details.

Victim Liaison Unit

flow4 · 04/02/2013 15:40

(Oops, there was only one comment when I started writing my post, but I got interrupted and now I'm just repeating what others have already told you. Sorry! )

BarredfromhavingStella · 04/02/2013 15:51

This is an absolutely disgraceful position for you & DSD to be in & I feel rage on your behalf

Definitely need to speak to your police liaison & the probation service as have no idea how they would think him living on the next street from his victim is ok.

BigGums · 04/02/2013 16:09

I've just recently spoken to victim liasion re my rapist coming out next year. They have said there is different things they can do but as i have moved and my name has changed through marriage, i luckily don't have to do much.

They have said that if he comes in to a building I'm in then i can get a member of staff to call the police and get him removed.

By then i'd be a gibbering wreck so is of little comfort.

I feel so so sorry for you and dsd. It's disgusting this can happen.

StinkyWicket · 04/02/2013 16:11

I am so shocked at this story. As a rape survivor (my attacker got three years ) I still worry that I'll run into him. Unlikely but still.

I am absolutely disgusted that their response is to offer to move your family. I am speechless.

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