To think some people have no boundaries in what they say to their colleagues?

(8 Posts)
MrsKeithRichards Fri 01-Feb-13 08:25:59

I struggle with challenging people in real life in some settings.

Alittlestranger Fri 01-Feb-13 08:22:06

It's not about establishing boundaries, it's about not being a dick. If someone is racist or homophobic I think a lack of "boundaries" is the least of their worries.

Although you're kidding yourself if you think people weren't openly prejudice in the past.

redexpat Fri 01-Feb-13 07:53:37

Blimey you should hear the drivel my mother comes out with. I usually end up reaching for the wine

Noren Fri 01-Feb-13 07:41:05

Where I work has policies against racism and homophobia, so I feel empowered to speak up even more than I would anyway. People who haven't learned better, need to.

Snowsquonk Fri 01-Feb-13 07:34:26

There is nothing wrong in building and maintaining your own boundaries. A woman I work with taught me this phrase:

"I'm sorry - I find comments like that offensive......but to be fair to you, you weren't to know that."

It stops unpleasant "jokes" or comments in their tracks - there is no comeback available - you've stated your POV in an assertive but not aggressive manner. If they continue to see how you then react you can calmly say "I've just told you/already told you that I find comments like that offensive".

yes people have the right to free speech but you also have the right to say you find their comments offensive

KC225 Fri 01-Feb-13 00:59:16

I think the whole texting/twitter/facebook world has allowed certain people to become a little more unfiltered. But I think there have always been people who talk before they think. I remember my mum telling me of an embarrassing relative who died before I was born - making comments like 'There's a fat bird she'll know where bakers is' and telling another relative 'it was a good her child was bright because you need something to fall back on when you're ugly'

CheCazzo Thu 31-Jan-13 23:13:55

I suppose that's one of the by products of a society where freedom of speech is a basic and given right. Obviously you don't have to like what people say but you have to defend their right to say it

Sneezingwakesthebaby Thu 31-Jan-13 23:11:16

ExP (dd's dad) was telling me about a colleague of his suggesting some parenting tips about raising dd. The most recent tip was "get her into lads as soon as possible. You don't want her lezzing off".

When I worked in a care home, a colleague i had met about 2 days before was ranting randomly about mixed race couples and said it was "fucking disgusting" for a black man and a white woman to be together.

When I was at uni (so not quite colleagues I guess), a girl was at the flat seeing my flatmate (first time id met her) and Christopher Biggins was on telly hugging his bf/husband when he left the jungle. She made a sicky noise and said that it was disgusting and "people like that" shouldn't be allowed on telly. When pressed she confirmed she meant gay people.

Am I being unreasonable to think people don't have boundaries anymore with what they say to people they barely know?

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