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To ask what SAHM,s with kids at school do with their days?

(454 Posts)
totallyfrazzled Tue 29-Jan-13 22:53:34

I am mainly a SAHM but both my children are now school age. I do work PT, but as I work freelance my work days are erratics so I often find myself being a SAHM for a full week. Despite the fact that I do work, albeit slightly randomly, I find that I cannot give myself credit for the multiple tasks that I perform in anyone day at home....getting the DC's dressed and ready for school, driving them to school, clearing up the breakfast chaos, making the beds, doing the shopping, blah blah blah, preparing the evening meal, collecting the DC's, getting thru the homework, etc etc etc. i seem to be able to fill a whole day with domestic drudgery and still I am treading water, i.e. I am keeping everything at a status quo rather than actually achieving anything. I feel duty bound to keep on with domestic duties whilst not actually in renumerative employ. I feel guilty doing otherwise.Wondering if any one anyone else is in the same boat?

Well I've recently ditched my self-employed status as it wasn't worth doing. Dd2 is home half the week (in nursery for 2.5 days).

I've joined a gym/pool so planning to do that Weds afternoon and Friday at some time. Maybe Thursday for studying. Other than that I crochet, quilt & sew. I tend not to read much as I feel if I'm reading I should be studying hmm. Sometimes I'll just sit watching tv with a brew and relax.

I have one school-age DS and am at home all day. DH works from home as well, so we keep each other company.

I do some cleaning - although less than I used to as I was quite uptight about stuff laying around and it was getting a bit silly - shop, walk the dog, read, sew, crochet, cook, bake, and spend quite a bit of time on the internet. Oh, yeah, and I volunteer for a few hours a week.

I agree that I spend longer doing household stuff than I did when I worked fulltime, for instance, the food shopping was done at breakneck speed one night after work, whereas now I can stroll round the shop with a proper list and take my time.

When I first left work though, my youngest was two and I confess I became very lethargic and lazy for a while until I found a routine. All that extra time was a bit daunting after the hectic rush of fulltime work and parenting.

BarbarianMum Wed 30-Jan-13 12:38:50

I arse around on mumsnet grin

Washing, ironing, shopping, cooking and domestic trivia.

DIY and redecorating.

Volunteer with local Wildlife Trust, Natural History Society, am Chair of the Preschool (but only 4 another 8mo -hurrah) and Woodland Toddler Group.

Look for a job. Am a landlady to 2 properties.

If there is any time left I am occasionally moved to clean something. But luckily this doesn't happen often smile

Also housework, shopping, cleaning, cooking and domestic trivia.

forevergreek Wed 30-Jan-13 12:51:21

We work fully time, but both myself and dh had 6 months each maternity/ parental leave. I studied whilst home with baby/ies and dh made some websites. We both took up jogging with babies!

We both get a little stir crazy if nothing to do day in day out.

Groovee Wed 30-Jan-13 12:52:08

Today I am chilling because I am so overtired I will get ill if I don't rest.

Almostfifty Wed 30-Jan-13 14:35:50

I never stop. I've been a SAHM for over 22 years.

I do lots of different volunteer roles, exercise (a lot!) and do all the housework.

FanFuckingTastic Wed 30-Jan-13 18:16:14

LouMae

No need to be jealous, I have a carer, rather than a chef and cleaner. So I only get that help because of how ill I am.

LouMae Wed 30-Jan-13 18:20:18

Oh gosh I'm sorry fan, my bad.

freddiefrog Wed 30-Jan-13 18:26:10

I work free-lance from home and do as little as I can get away with grin

I'm also a foster carer so some of my time is spent dealing with my FC (social workers/school/etc, etc) and about once a month I have some sort of training or carer meeting.

Rest of the time
housework - I have low standards though
I volunteer at school 2 days a week
Help on the PTA
At the moment I'm building scenery and costumes for a big production that school is taking part in
Couple of hours a day out with the dog
Meet friends for lunch/mooch round the shops

I'm actually busier now than I was when I worked full time, I'd hate to go back to full time, out of the home work

kerala Wed 30-Jan-13 18:32:26

Have part time job that earns abit of money but doesnt require me to do much. Fundraise for the school. House chores. Look for job!

OverlyYappyAlways Wed 30-Jan-13 18:36:48

My usual routine is messed up as Dc is off and hasn't been back at school a full day since December.

It was, get up, Sky news, tea and internet, wake DC, let them get dressed, chase them to brush teeth, fix hair etc... put face on, walk the dog, back home, washing on, dishes, make beds, hoover rooms, wash floors, every 2nd day do the loos and stairs, usually done by 10.30am, then college work, I do drift back here a lot though and am 3 weeks behind college work.

when I worked form home and Ds was at nursery it was, DC ready for school, one Dc for nursery, take both, shops, back home, work/mumsnet until Dc home from nursery, make cakes, dinner housework, wait until DC in bed and work again at night no mumsnet as ex was home and was envy of mumsnet.

Will add my comment and then read thread.

I am a SAHM. I'm a stay at home mum, or more appropriately, a carer - because DS has autism. When he is at school I am catching up on sleep (he thinks sleep is for the weak), having a bath/shower, ironing, mowing the lawn while DS is safely supervised elsewhere, I'm writing letters, in meetings, making phone calls, at support groups, filling in forms, studying with the OU.

It's not my choice to be a stay at home mum, I've given up my job, career prospects, etc to put my child with special needs first.

diddl Wed 30-Jan-13 18:42:23

Walk the dog & a bike ride every morning maybe some hoovering laundry in between.

In the better weather when the pool is open, then a swim as well.

Home for lunch with the children (school finishes at about 1pm)

Afternoons housework/gardening/reading/see friends...whatever.

Pagwatch Wed 30-Jan-13 18:45:37

Whatever I want.

FanFuckingTastic Wed 30-Jan-13 18:46:05

Don't worry, I laughed. It's just that I'd much rather be without the need for the carer, even though I love that I can just sit back on bad days and it all gets done for me.

thebody Wed 30-Jan-13 18:57:57

Gosh, another world.

Loved being a sahm while mine were little but now youngest 12 went back to work a few years ago. Retrained to do a school friendly job and feel great contributing to our money pot.

My dh earns enough for me not to and he doesn't want me to but I can't just cycle, gym, read, coffee for the rest if my adult life! Got bored with that. Have friends who still do and feel like they are stuck in a time now gone.

Their Dcs are now older and how many lunch dates can you do?

Want my dds to see me as a woman who doesn't just make beds and cook! Fuck that!
Done that. Move on.

EACH TO THEIR OWN THOUGH..

Pagwatch Wed 30-Jan-13 19:01:53

I don't make beds. The children make their beds.
Plus I have a cleaner.

damppatchnot Wed 30-Jan-13 19:02:30

I breed guinea pigs so have 30 plus and they all have long hair so after cleaning out and feeding I have to bath and brush but tbh I find it v relaxing as my job is stressful ( I'm a Macmillan manager) and the volunteering at school is a pleasure as is my work at church as a catechist smile

damppatchnot Wed 30-Jan-13 19:06:32

If your a sahm why do you have a cleaner ?!

Blimey what did I get wrong???

wink

Pagwatch Wed 30-Jan-13 19:09:51

I have a big house and I don't like cleaning. I am lucky that I can afford it but beyond that, it's not a difficult decision.
smile

seeker Wed 30-Jan-13 19:10:11

I keep the household running(just about) and bake and decorate about 100 cupcakes a day.

Pagwatch Wed 30-Jan-13 19:11:07

Sadly I could probably eat 100 a day.

seeker Wed 30-Jan-13 19:13:21

I will never eat another one. Except the lemon and ginger ones. They are lovely. But ginger's expensive- can't eat the profit!

tiggyhop Wed 30-Jan-13 19:13:34

I work pt but in my sahm days I practise the splits

Samu2 Wed 30-Jan-13 19:15:58

Honestly, I do very little most days.

I am always on top of the housework so I don't need to spend much time on it. I wash dishes the second we are done eating, sweep around 4 times a day, clean any mess and pick up the second I see it needs doing etc so I never have to spend a long time cleaning. I have five children and 6 pets so I have to keep on top.

I spend the morning with my LO who is in nursery and after I have taken her in I often just chill out and read or play on the net. Sometimes I will prepare tea in advance too or meet a friend for dinner.

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