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AIBU?

to wonder if people ever say that stuff in rl?

60 replies

threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 10:48

just lurked on a thread where there are a lot of bigoted posts.
made me wonder if people are so quick to say stuff that is so vile in rl.
as in racism/disablist stuff. ir is it just on the internet that they do it

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cluelesscleaner · 29/01/2013 11:06

I was thinking about this last night. I have read several threads recently where there is a distinct lack of compassion and empathy directed at people that are already vulnerable.

Sadly, I don't think this is just on mumsnet but becoming more prevalent in rl during this economic climate.

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Catchingmockingbirds · 29/01/2013 11:11

Sadly I hear disablist comments being made quite a lot. Pulling anyone up on it is just met with a lot of hostility too.

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Jamillalliamilli · 29/01/2013 11:15

I?m a LP in a wheelchair, one dd has suffered visible brain damage, one ds has ASD. I?m afraid ?they? say some very revolting things in RL frequently these days.

It started to go from mainly just ignorant things to intentionally nasty around five years ago, but has massively increased in frequency and become actively hate filled in the last couple of years.

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 11:16

I must be lucky as in rl I only get nice stuff said.
(apart from the shits up the road of course)
but the stuff I see on here, some of it is so vile

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devientenigma · 29/01/2013 11:17

Iv'e encountered it in RL, however I do think online some people tend to write what they wouldn't say.

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Catchingmockingbirds · 29/01/2013 11:18

I find what I read on mn to be much more restrained than what I hear in RL.

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 11:18

that is scary

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LegoAcupuncture · 29/01/2013 11:20

People might OT say it, but I bet they think it. People like that are not worth the air they breathe. Bigoted opinions for small minded people.

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Peachy · 29/01/2013 11:22

As you know my boys have twice had euthanasia suggested, once in front of them, both time by relatives (by marriage but close relatives): once even in front of ds1 who understood.

I was quite friendly with school mums for ds4 as well until I mentioned his statement- then overheard myself referred to as The Leper Mum.

It's always been rough where we live as there's a sense of MC exclusivity about our school (chooses 80% of pupils but we are covered and guaranteed a place).

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Peachy · 29/01/2013 11:23

It is worse online though in my experience

as you will know threesocks having possibly seen that day on FB when BIL started off... when I defriended him DH saw him posting lots of stuff about ding dong the witch is dead and how I supposedly have Munchausens (I don't btw) all over his page.

Online enables to weak to be bullies when they normally would not dare

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PeneloPeePitstop · 29/01/2013 11:24

I've not heard it but then I'm deaf Wink
I've been on the receiving end of physical violence and criminal damage on the basis of disability if it helps?

I'd quite enjoy it if someone openly voiced their bigotry to my face so I could hear. Cos I'd give it straight back.

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 11:26

see peachy the beauty of fb is that if someone posts something like that they will get a mouthful.
as they are posting as themselves as well they out themselves as a bigot.
but on here people are hidden so they gan post vile stuff, and weirdly use freedom of speech as their get out clause......

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theplodder · 29/01/2013 11:27

YABU to think that a difference of opinions makes one a bigot or "disablist"

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devientenigma · 29/01/2013 11:27

that would also depend on the context of the difference

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PeneloPeePitstop · 29/01/2013 11:35

Saying disabled people should scrub bogs whilst knowing bugger all about the disability of the individual and how it affects them is pretty bigoted...

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dottyspotty2 · 29/01/2013 11:37

We've had it from kids as well as 'nice' family members DS now 18 was assaulted by another child at 7 because he was different ended up with his mout slashed open.

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 11:39

I thinking showing a

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 11:40

not sure what I did there
strange how you seem to think I am talking about you Plodder,,,why would I be?

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Catchingmockingbirds · 29/01/2013 11:52

Why have you put disablist in quotation marks plodder?

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threesocksmorgan · 29/01/2013 12:08

some people don't believe that they are disablist, perhaps she is one of them.
they hide behind excuses and pretend they are really thinking of the disabled person.

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LegoAcupuncture · 29/01/2013 12:53

Threesocks, they probably also start conversations with "Im not disabilist, but..."

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HecateWhoopass · 29/01/2013 13:00

Yeah. People do say some pretty vile and ignorant things face to face as well as online.

It's good to know what you're up against.

Better to have your Shitlist than to fool yourself that those around you are reasonable, rational people who give a shit about you and what you have to deal with.

As a family, we've got a double whammy of disabled and Not White Grin

Thankfully we live in a good area and don't have it on our doorstep, but you can imagine the fun the hard of thinking can have with us. Leaving the safety of the village is not always fun.

I don't particularly enjoy having abuse yelled at me or having people sneer at my kids.

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Peachy · 29/01/2013 14:36

Plodder the people I am tlaking about said 'they should put your boys down to save money, country can;t afford them any more'

I will happily say what I bloody well want about that nastiness.

idiots wanting my kdis out of the school- closest one to our house when many drive past others to reach this one through choice-

they can all do one.

And then the 12 children who ganged up on ds1 and beat him so hard he had show marked bruises.

And the aprent who screamed at me so ahrd at school that I developed a phobia of going there alone.

All older ones now, sending the boys to SN schools where nobody knows where we live helps, but still awfful memories

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crescentmoon · 29/01/2013 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peachy · 29/01/2013 14:39

'see peachy the beauty of fb is that if someone posts something like that they will get a mouthful.
as they are posting as themselves as well they out themselves as a bigot.
but on here people are hidden so they gan post vile stuff, and weirdly use freedom of speech as their get out clause......'

True.

Funny because when I was studying for the philosophy part of me degree, we were that that freedom of speech only works if entered into with a spirit of respect.

That's just not what you get online is it?

A contact runs a political website (why yes remarkably leftie ;) ) and the amount of stuff he deletes even before the rest of us see it- NOT a debate forum btw. He makes that clear. Then that prat from UKIP going on about terminations, suspended- but what long term?

I used to be quite middle of the road politically, never Tory but not really labour either- these days I have been radicalised that I am so left it's take the lot of them a day's hiking to even find me!

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