or should we be worried about their evil lies?

(18 Posts)
Veritate Sun 27-Jan-13 12:06:53

I wonder how much the evil aunts imagine the pension is if they think the elderly can easily save a fortune out of it? Do they think the great aunt had a duty to live in penury so that she could make sure to leave them a good wedge?

PessaryPam Sun 27-Jan-13 12:00:34

Oh that's going to be a bit difficult for your DM is she has to work with one of the evil sisters. She should document everything, and not allow anyone to go round the house unattended as people nick stuff under these circumstances. Sad but true.

I second what wine and roses said, they sound like witches.
The way I see it (and I have no exp or professional knowledge) I'd say what your gaunt did with her pension whilst she was alive was her business.
As someone said upthread, she could have given it to a cat's home, its no-one's business but hers. After her death, your dm would be accountable for the pension, so as long as it wasn't drawn after death I'm sure she has nothing to be worried about, apart from being related to a bunch of horrible bitches

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 17:45:09

@PessaryPam My DM and one of her sisters are joint executors

PessaryPam Fri 25-Jan-13 17:28:39

Who is the executor?

Lovelygoldboots Fri 25-Jan-13 17:02:35

Hopefully this will all blow over. My dp,s mum was in very similar situation and she was her mil deputy. It did get quite nasty, unfortunately all too common when there is money involved. But she is not answerable to them. Sorry this is happening. It must be really stressful for your mum.

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 16:52:20

DGA died in hospital and my DM had collected her pension and did all errands and paid bills, etc while she was in her hospital bed for over 2 months. All the money was spent, DM and DGA know where all the money went.

It was no one else's business when DGA was alive so it is no one elses business now!

I have told my DM that she had better NOT tell the evil sisters where every penny went but she is worried because of the fact that DGA was in hospital while she was collecting her pension.

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 16:42:35

My DM was officially NOK to DGA but I don't think she had power of attorney as DGA was always of sound mind right to the end.

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 16:40:24

I think it was the latter Teeny but I will ask DM to be sure. Thank you.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 25-Jan-13 16:39:54

Did your DM (or anyone else) have Power of Attourney for your GA? If not then WTF does it have to do with your DM whether your GA had money left over or not. confused If she was managing her affairs herself she might have spent it all on the gee-gees or given it to the cat's home (assuming that she'd have reasonably had anything left over from her pension anyway)

TeenyW123 Fri 25-Jan-13 16:36:34

Did your DM have power of attorney or acted as great aunt's deputy in an official capacity according to the Office of the Public Guardian? Or was she (as it sounds) doing favours on an informal basis because she wanted to, and the arrangement suited both DM & DGA?

If the former, then your DM would be required to keep track of where DGA's money was being spent. If the latter, nobody else's business.

Teeny

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 16:35:09

Yes great aunt has left a will ms vestibule and DM and all the sisters are to benefit equally from her estate which has surprised the evil sisters as they always said that everything would be left to my DM.

HecateWhoopass Fri 25-Jan-13 16:32:06

Not a thing.

Someone doesn't have to prove themselves innocent, they have to be proven guilty.

Sounds to me like your aunts didn't give a shit about their sister, they're just being vultures now.

If I was your mum, I'd ignore them.

Actually. That's a lie.

I would stand toe to toe with them and scream where the hell were they while I was caring for her and doing everything for her and they don't give a shit that she'd dead they're just after what they can get and were probably leaping for joy when she died, thinking how much they'd get and I'm soooo sorry that auntie X didn't live on a can of beans a day so she could save every penny for their greedy arses.

But your mum would be better served letting it wash over her and be happy knowing she made a difference to her aunt's life while they couldn't have given a shit about her.

Crinkle77 Fri 25-Jan-13 16:29:22

Your mum does not need to prove anything. Not saying your mum has done anything but It is up to them to find proof and go to the police if they think there has been any wrong doing.

MsVestibule Fri 25-Jan-13 16:28:19

Unless they make these allegations to the police, she has nothing to worry about from a legal perspective. However, this sounds like slander to me, and if it is mentioned in public again, your mother could threaten to sue them for that.

Did your Great Aunt leave a will?

wineandroses Fri 25-Jan-13 16:27:39

The aunts sound like a bunch of witches. That being the case, your DM probably doesn't want any sort of relationship with them, so should tell them all to fuck off. At least, that's what I'd do.

thebody Fri 25-Jan-13 16:27:03

If she shouted at her in public and accused her of stealing then that's slander.

If I were you I would call up the local CSO and get them to visit your aunt to warn her of this. That will scare the bejesus out if her and stop it.

We did similar to neighbours and it worked like a dream.

Your poor mom.

theydontknow Fri 25-Jan-13 16:23:59

name changed for this.

I'll try to be as brief as I can.

We recently lost our elderly great aunt. My DM had always been close to her as a good friend as well as a relative and in her final years had done a lot of errands for her including sometimes collecting her state pension for her, shopping, paying bills, giving her lifts to doctor's etc. DM's evil sisters who were not close to my great aunt and had actually treated her like shit while she was alive have always known that this is the case and had said some spiteful things such as DM only wants to get what she can after great aunt dies.

Now the false accusations of theft have started! DM is really worried because one of her sisters publicly shouted at her that great aunt should have had a lot of cash left over from her pension and that my DM had better prove where every penny is. I told my DM it is none of anyone else's fucking business and how dare they! She is really worried.

Please can some wise mnetters reassure my DM that she has nothing to worry about?

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