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AIBU?

To have said i found a priest physically attractive? Friend thinks it's 'wrong'

35 replies

UncertainMum · 25/01/2013 12:53

I was at my daughter's school talent show today with my friend. She asked me who the man was at the front with the head teacher (she couldn't see his collar because of how he was standing). "I said he's the parish priest, he's really good looking, isn't he?"

She looked disgusted! She said it was terrible saying that about a priest because they represent God. i asked if she thought he wasn't good looking, and she got a bit flustered and said she doesn't look at priests that way. Yet she's usually the person pointing out nice-looking men wherever we go.

We're both Catholics and it's a Catholic school if that matters.

OP posts:
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HormonalHousewife · 25/01/2013 12:55

No. I think you have been honest.

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Peggotty · 25/01/2013 12:58

I personally don't think it's wrong, but your friend obviously feels differently. Sex and religion can be a very murky place sometimes!
You just saw a good-looking man and your friend saw a priest....

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willyoulistentome · 25/01/2013 12:58

Not wrong to think it. Temptation is NOT a sin, as our old priest used to say. If you ever DID anything about your fancying him - now that WOULD be wrong!!

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AlwaysWantingMore · 25/01/2013 12:58

Your friend's attitude is a bit odd, anyone can be physically attractive regardless of their job or vocation. Priests seem 'forbidden' because of their vows but that just means they have made a choice about their sexual and personal relationships, not that they are somehow immediately ugly. As long as you weren't throwing yourself at him Wink I think you have nothing to worry about!

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YorkshireDeb · 25/01/2013 12:59

I don't see that being a priest would stop him from being attractive & don't see a problem with you saying so. It's not like you said "I wouldn't kick him out of bed"! X

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RooneyMara · 25/01/2013 12:59

I don't think it's wrong but then there's a lot of things Catholicism thinks is wrong that I don't, iyswim.

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Ilovexmastime · 25/01/2013 13:01

YANBU. She sounds mad. It was an observation, that's all.

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IslaMann · 25/01/2013 13:02

I'm guessing that when she hadn't seen his dog collar she was lusting after him. Then felt guilty. Hence her protestations. You're just the more honest if the two of you.

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Thumbwitch · 25/01/2013 13:02

Your friend is being weird, IMO. [bhmm]

HE took the vow of chastity, not you. That means YOU are at liberty to find him good looking. YOU can fancy the pants off him! HE isn't supposed to feel the same (or rather, he is supposed to be able to eschew normal human feelings in the service of God) - because HE took the vow of chastity/abstinence (or whatever it's called for priests, chastity is for nuns, isn't it)

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Chelvis · 25/01/2013 13:04

I know a gorgeous priest, every woman in my parish must be a bad Catholic because when he covered some Masses, every woman from 8 to 108 was blushing and swooning at him! He's still attractive even if he is a Priest - although I do think it would be wrong to be flirty with one, same as I wouldn't flirt with a married man (well, I'm married now, so I wouldn't flirt with anyone!)

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loopylou6 · 25/01/2013 13:05

Shock priests can't shag?

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Tallgiraffe · 25/01/2013 13:05

YANBU - I'm married to one [bgrin] Anglican, I grant you, but still I reckon he's goo looking!

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meditrina · 25/01/2013 13:05

Observing that you find someone's looks pleasing is fine.

Lusting after a man who you know has made vows (whether priestly or indeed matrimonial) which makes him unavailable to you is wrong.

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MarianneM · 25/01/2013 13:06

My DH is going to be a priest - am I allowed to find him attractive ;)

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Tallgiraffe · 25/01/2013 13:06

Goo Hmm good obviously!

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jidelgin · 25/01/2013 13:07

YANBU It's not like you were trying to throw the leg over him or anything

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MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 25/01/2013 13:10
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HormonalHousewife · 25/01/2013 13:10

Makes confession interesting anyway if you have to repent tour 'lustful' thoughts...

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Farewelltoarms · 25/01/2013 13:11

Jeez has she never seen or read The Thorn Birds? Ahh nostalgia for Father Ralph de bric-a-brac and Meggie. 'Remember Father, roses have nasty, hooky thorns,' etc, etc.

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AMumInScotland · 25/01/2013 13:11

Your friend is being weird - I reckon she was looking at him "that way" until you told her who he was, and then she got confused about being caught out by totally normal feelings.

Celibate people can still be physically attractive.
And they can still recognise that other people are physically attractive.

They just aren't allowed to follow that though into action.

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Farewelltoarms · 25/01/2013 13:11

Mardy - you and I crossed posts - showing our age...

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Farewelltoarms · 25/01/2013 13:13

And oh my god, that trailer. Classic. Even in 49 seconds you can see just what an amazingly wooden actress she is. And there's something of the Cliff Richard about him which makes it difficult to believe he's transported by passion.

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MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 25/01/2013 13:13

And remember that music Farewell - "Ding-y Ding-y Doo Dah..."

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MarianneM · 25/01/2013 13:14

P.S. Not all priests are celibate - including Catholic (and I mean married!).

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OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 25/01/2013 13:14

mardy I can't click on that cos I'm in work, but I assume it's the Thorn Birds? When we were in school my mate had a MAHOOSIVE crush on him in that role.

Also, another girl I was in school with, ended up married to a priest (Catholic, he left the priesthood for her). Last I heard they were v happy with a couple of children. I assume she thinks he's gorgeous.

Finally, my grandfather trained to be a Catholic priest, but the head of the seminary told him, shortly before ordination, that the priesthood wasn't for him. Several months later my granny spotted him on a Legion of Mary outing, and drooled over him (6 foot tall, trained as a carpenter, wearing tweed plus fours). So she found an almost priest very sexy! (when she was 90 she was still talking about that day...)

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