to sometimes think that SAHMs are "living the dream" and really envy them

(462 Posts)
Fizzler99 Thu 24-Jan-13 10:54:29

Ok so I don't have kids yet.

I work ridiculously long hours (as in out the house 6.30am-8pm minimum and often work late nights and weekends too). I have a long commute each way (can't afford to live where I work as property so expensive) and the job is very, very high stress. I earn a decent wage, but I am quite junior so I'm not on mega-money despite what my friends and family seem to think

I don't intend to keep this job forever, but I need to establish myself in my choosen career then I can hopefully 'down-grade' to something less stressful.

One of my colleagues has just given up work to become a SAHM. It just sounds like living the dream. No more waiting on cold station platforms for delayed trains at 6.30am, no more hideous commute, no more stressful job and nagging boss and office politics, no more late night working and surviving on takeaway or the contents of the office vending machine for weeks at a time. I am so jealous! envy

Please give me a much-needed reality check. Please tell me the reality of being a SAHM. For those of you that have gone from having a quite high-flying career to SAHM, please tell me how the two compare. I think I really need a reality check!

scottishmummy Fri 25-Jan-13 22:08:28

stupick to finding deep feelings,and inner unicorns
your factual assertions are way off
I've never felt guilt about nursery use or working ft.why would I?

janey68 Fri 25-Jan-13 22:08:37

Achillea- possibly, i don't know, I was simply going by this thread where it seems to be predominantly SAHM who are commenting on the grind of poo, vomit and watching cbeebies for the 500th time!

achillea Fri 25-Jan-13 22:14:48

I still don't get why OP started this thread as she hasn't even got kids yet.

pourmeanotherglass Fri 25-Jan-13 22:17:46

well it isn't my dream, but some people enjoy it - In a perfect world, I would have taken longer than 6 months mat leave after DD2, but I definitely wouldn't want to be still at home once they started school.

BarredfromhavingStella Fri 25-Jan-13 22:24:29

I couldn't stand to be a SAHM but that's just me-I work 2 days a week & adore those 2 days. Hot cuppa's & lunch all to myself along with adult (well most of the time) conversation & a bit of intelligence stimulation-what

BarredfromhavingStella Fri 25-Jan-13 22:25:45

I couldn't stand to be a SAHM but that's just me-I work 2 days a week & adore those 2 days. Hot cuppa's & lunch all to myself along with adult (well most of the time) conversation & a bit of intelligent stimulation-what's not to love???

BarredfromhavingStella Fri 25-Jan-13 22:27:02

Ooops no fuckin idea why that posted twice, perhaps that's how strongly I feel about it grin

madmomma Fri 25-Jan-13 23:37:50

Being a SAHM can be the best job in the world one day and the worst job the next day. it's bloody hard and exhausting when you've two or more pre-schoolers. But I just could not hand over my babies to anyone else to look after for more than an hr or so. Unless I couldn't put food on the table without working, I'd always be at home with mine. I'll have to cross the career bridge when I come to it.

BreatheandFlyAway Sat 26-Jan-13 00:57:02

Exit - There are many different chapters in our lives. I am entering a new one and this gave me heart!

OP, I have done the long hours pre kids, the SAHM and now the p/t working with dcs. All have their challenges. SAHM was never a doss in the park and the emotional draining was hard, along with the unremitting dull labour of housework and the gritty aspects of childcare.

Other side of the coin was that I was there all the time for my dcs' early years - a gift.

I loved my pre-kids job and missed it greatly in retrospect but found it hard at the time, all those early mornings of getting respectable, sitting on tubes and conforming! But then, being good at a job, interacting and laughing with like minded people, access to good coffee bars, the sheer fun of it at times... Enjoy this chapter for what it offers and bear in mind it won't last for ever!

extracrunchy Sat 26-Jan-13 10:47:46

Where's OP?!

achillea Sat 26-Jan-13 19:40:26

She not back yet? Must be too busy working.

Ah I remember the days when having babies was what other people did.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Sat 26-Jan-13 20:08:07

Aah I'm not sure about this.

On the one hand I would LOVE to be there everyday looking after my children and not missing a single thing, without worrying about work on my days off and things like that.

On the other hand, I like working. I'm not earning that much at the moment, but in a few years time I may be in a position to give them a much better standard of living. I have better prospects than my partner and if it means that I am the breadwinner then so be it.

There are pros and cons to both situations I think.

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