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to be fed up with DSS2 staring at DD when she's sleeping on my exposed boob?

(231 Posts)
Enfyshedd Mon 21-Jan-13 19:28:43

DSS2 is 6, DD is 8mo.

I'll admit that DSS2 has been irritating me a bit recently (like constantly losing his school shoes in his room by chucking his comics, toys & dirty laundry on top of them and when he nearly brained DD yesterday with a wooden shape sorter toy when he lost his grip when swinging it around angry), but kneeling up on a chair to stare at a sleeping, BFing DD is really bugging me right now.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get him to stop looking?

Goldenbear Mon 21-Jan-13 19:51:09

Living up to the stereotype here OP- does your mirror remind you that you are indeed 'the fairest in the land'?

Angelico Mon 21-Jan-13 19:53:50

There's something really nasty about this post OP. Maybe because my nephew aged 5 also stares at me and his mum bfing his new cousin and brother respectively. He also tends to come right up and put his face close. It's because he's fascinated by the babies. He loves their faces / tiny hands / tiny feet etc. It's beautiful seeing his curiosity.

There's something really unpleasant and hostile in your tone for a 6 year old child. As others have said it sounds like you don't like him. I hope you're a v new mum and it's just hormones talking. If not, you need to get to the bottom of whatever is bugging you so much before you cause an issue for your DSS.

I'm not normally especially sentimental but something about the way you wrote really made me angry and sad. A six year old child is innocent. You're making it sound like he's doing something wrong. Why don't you get him to sit down peacefully beside you, let him ask questions, give him some quiet time with you and baby?

PassMeTheWino Mon 21-Jan-13 19:54:13

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Zipitydooda Mon 21-Jan-13 19:54:35

Your post is rather sad. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, sharing such moments with your family is close and loving.
It's normal for a 6yo to do what your DSS is doing in losing stuff, it's also normal for a 6yo to act up when there's a new baby.
You could use the time he's with you when you're feeding to reassure him in your feelings for him. Please don't get annoyed, I'm sure you have baby only feeds when he's at school.
He'll probably be a father in the future, you have a role to play in fostering his nurturing side.

Smudging Mon 21-Jan-13 19:54:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Poor chap, a baby himself and being described like a sex pervert.

Smugfearnleyshittingstool Mon 21-Jan-13 19:55:25

My sds is six and was fascinated to see me bf my dd ( who's almost three). Hr had never seen a baby being fed before and assumed they all had bottles. I couldn't imagine ever having an issue with this, it's cute.

BlahBlahBlahhh Mon 21-Jan-13 19:55:36

Just read this thread and feel very sad for the poor little lad. Please make him feel included in what's going on...talk to him, he's curious. If it bothers you that much drape a muslin over yourself. As someone else said, it sounds like he feels left out and trying to get attention with the hiding things and swinging toys about. 6 years old is still very young, be understanding. Oh, and the poster who said about getting the creeps from a 6 year old...sad

ZooAnimals Mon 21-Jan-13 19:57:14

Is DD your first? Did you have much contact with kids prior to DSS and your own DD.

What you're describing is perfectly normal behaviour. In about 5 years time your DD will be losing her school shoes, swinging toys round and staring at people she sees doing something different/interesting.

MrsDeVere Mon 21-Jan-13 19:57:51

Horrible.
It doesn't matter if he is your DSS or DS or DN or the neighbour's child.
He is SIX
And you are being weird.

Angelico Mon 21-Jan-13 19:57:56

I really hope this is a wind up.

Cortana Mon 21-Jan-13 20:01:29

How awful for your DSS. He sounds like he's interested in what you're doing. He's six ffs, he cares not for your knockers.

FWIW I sometimes have to pull my eyes away when I see a breastfeeding woman. I have such fond memories of that lovely time, I loved feeding my son and even though I did it everyday for yonks, it's still a lovely wondrous thing to me. I have to remind myself that not everyone is as comfortable or open as I was, but I'm 28 and have the mental capacity to understand that, a six year old does not.

How awful. Will you be so mean about your pfb dd if you have another child and she is curious about what you are doing?

HoppityFrog Mon 21-Jan-13 20:07:06

How would you feel if your dd has a stepmum in the future who talks and feels this way about her? And if she has a baby sister she can't look at without making her stepmum angery. Poor boy he's a small child not a teenager.

CloudsAndTrees Mon 21-Jan-13 20:08:12

This thread is so sad sad

That poor child.

SaggyOldPregnantCatpuss Mon 21-Jan-13 20:10:50

You sound like a delightful stepmother! confused

CrapBag Mon 21-Jan-13 20:11:25

You really don't like him do you!

So now you have got a baby of your own, I am guessing DSS doesn't matter. I hope his dad doesn't know you feel like this about his child as thats how your post comes across.

YABU. He is watching you feed a baby, not oogling your boobs. If you have finished feeding then why are they still out?

flossy101 Mon 21-Jan-13 20:11:52

Made me very sad you read this.

I'm afraid that you sound very unkind.

It is sad, isn't it? I remember random strange shildren occasionally clocking i was feeding one of my DCs when out, a few years ago and asking questions. I just answered calmly and understood it was just natural curiosity. It never bothered me, although I noticed some parents were ready to call their DCs away of I wasn't happy.

Babies attract children, perhaps because it's not so long since they were that age themselves.

cory Mon 21-Jan-13 20:16:32

Very sad OP. Soon your dd will be this age- how do you want other people to react around her?

Fenton Mon 21-Jan-13 20:18:27

Erm.. first of all - I can't believe you actually posted this.. (are you new here?)

Secondly, if you don't feel comfortable - go and feed in your bedroom - it's not worth getting stressed about,

personally the only people I feel okay about seeing by breasts are my breast-feeding children and my husband - oh and I suppose my Doctor at a push.

<shrug>

Aspiemum2 Mon 21-Jan-13 20:18:33

Oh bless sad. He'll be feeling a little insecure (so lots of reassurance) and curious, hence the looking
When I bf the twins my 8 yr old dd had to have a front row seat. There were a lot of questions like "are they getting milk right now?" "Do you have a hole in your boob for it to come out!", how does the boob know when to stop?" What does it taste like.... And so on. She even watched me express as it was so fascinating, constant "wow, there's milk coming out mummy!"
She went in to school and proudly announced "my mummy's boobs make milk but its not as white as the milk from tesco!"

blush But cute too

I would like to know if the OP has told her partner that she finds his son annoying. I'm suspecting that she hasn't.........

Op - get a grip and cherish the relationship your daughter has with her brother. You knew your dp had a son when you got in to this relationship. That means you are parenting a child as well as your own baby. Try doing a better job at it.

<<imagines how the stepson's mother would react if she saw this thread>>

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 21-Jan-13 20:28:05

He's 6 get over yourself.

Littlebearlost Mon 21-Jan-13 20:37:47

See I wouldn't like this either, but I think that's more because of my own issues. I didn't like anyone watching me feed, even my own dh. I used to go off on my own in the bedroom to feed. Although we did fail at it after a couple of weeks and I ended up expressing instead. I wouldn't let anyone see me express either, but expressing is really unglamerous and not beautiful to anyone!
So I'd just cover up a bit if youre not comfortable, problem solved?

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