to be absolutely staggered by my friend's total utter selfishness and re-considering our friendship?!

(281 Posts)
EmmyMaz Thu 17-Jan-13 08:57:53

Friend X's brother has a terminal illness and has not got long to live. Friend X is doing lots of fundraising / campaigning to raise awareness of this illness. I said I would support Friend X with his efforts.

I therefore (very politely) asked a few of my closest friends (including friend Y) if they would be willing to do a couple of very very small things to assist with the awareness-raising campaign. What I asked them to do is something that will literally take 5 or 10 minutes of their time and will not cost them anything financially. I have not asked for their money, just 5 or 10 minutes of their time.

Friend Y responded to me in an email saying "I do not have time for this". When I read her response I was absolutely stunned, I cannot believe she could be so selfish not to spare ten minutes of her time to help a really really important cause and also to help me, her friend.

Also, it is worth adding that Friend Y is not a very busy person, she only works part time and has lots of support with her DD from her Mum who looks after her, so I know for a fact she does have the time! She is always getting her nails done and getting her fake tan done so she is hardly too busy to spare 5 minutes for a really important cause.

I won't bore you with the details, but over the last few years I have spent hours upon hours of my time helping Friend Y with various things. I cannot believe her selfishness and quite frankly do not feel like speaking to her at the moment.

She is normally quite a sweet and kind person (although can be a bit self-absorbed in some ways) and has been there for me though some difficult times, so I am totally shocked by this.

AIBU to be really angered by this and actually to be re-considering our friendship?

PigletJohn Fri 18-Jan-13 22:54:21

If somebody asked me to release a balloon, for someone I didn't know, I might think

- what good will a balloon do?

- what will this biodegradable ballon cost?

- what's it got to do with me?

- how long will it take me to get this balloon, travel to the release site, and hang around for the ceremony?

I might say "I haven't got time (to argue with you)"

sorry.

thezebrawearspurple Fri 18-Jan-13 23:45:16

I hate gimmicks and would refuse to do something so stupid if somebody asked me. Sending a balloon in the air with a silly message won't help your friends brother or anybody else with his illness. The only point of this is to make people who are doing nothing feel like they are doing something. Pointless for those suffering.

catloony Fri 18-Jan-13 23:47:59

Sorry OP, i have to say exactly the same as pigletjohn.

LineRunner Fri 18-Jan-13 23:52:38

OP's gone by the looks of it, but I'm with pigletjohn as well.

KhallDrogo Sat 19-Jan-13 09:16:01

Sorry for your loss molly

MardyArsedMidlander Sat 19-Jan-13 10:14:34

'Some of you sound a bit heartless. Imagine if it were child with cancer and people had that ' hate raising awareness ' attitude.'

When it comes to childhood cancers_ I don't think that 'raising awareness' is the issue. I wouldn't ,for example, give money or time to raise funds to send a seriously ill child abroad for unproven and possibly fraudulent therapies.

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