to expect friends i see regularly & 'god parents' to send bday cards for my 5yo...

(96 Posts)
driedapricots Sun 06-Jan-13 20:29:36

...& not wait until the next time they see t
her, which is often weeks after the Big day...or worse still simply forget altogether...the bday is just after new year & only a small number remember & it seems to get less every year..many have dc born in the same year who she plays with regularly too. now shes getting older Dd realises who hasnt sent too & asks Why they havent..sad

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 06-Jan-13 20:55:57

So why use the word 'godparents'?

Maybe they are trying to 'back off' a bit?

SarahStratton Sun 06-Jan-13 20:57:09

Then sorry, no.

Actual obligated God parents yes, anyone else, no. And it is concerning that your DD not only notices, but queries it too, that's very entitled behaviour from a child who at that age I wouldn't expect to realise that A and B haven't given her a card.

If you have a tradition of sending their dcs cards then of course they should reciprocate. However sometimes people are just a bit crap I'm afraid. I think your dd might lose out because her birthday is right after Christmas? It's a busy time and people aren't as on the ball as they are at other times. You could try and pre-empt it next year by dropping birthday plans in to conversation. A facebook status 'driedapricots has just bought her soon to be 6 yr olds birthday present' should be enough of a reminder. Bit passive agrressive grin but if it is just an oversight it would deal with it.

Smudging Sun 06-Jan-13 20:59:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smudging Sun 06-Jan-13 21:00:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kendodd Sun 06-Jan-13 21:00:58

My DCs haven't said anything about their uncle never sending a card. I don't think they've noticed.

whois Sun 06-Jan-13 21:02:00

God parents yes, friends no.

You sound a bit precious snowflake cupcake expecting friends to have your dd at the centre of their universe.

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 06-Jan-13 21:02:14

How on earth will you make your child the centre of your universe when her birthday falls on a schoolday?

driedapricots Sun 06-Jan-13 21:02:19

hence 'these' bcos not sure what else to call them..seriously i do find some responses baffling..Why would they 'back off'..we see & talk regularly, no issues there at all! i wonder, have any of you bdays close to xmas? did U ever feel your special day got lost amongst the festivities..?

Jinsei Sun 06-Jan-13 21:03:21

But I don't think they should necessarily reciprocate just because the OP sends to their kids. Maybe they're deliberately not sending anything in the hope that the OP will stop as well. It can be quite difficult to keep up that sort of thing if you have a big family and a wide circle of friends, and I would want to discourage it tbh. Birthdays are magical occasions for kids, of course, but immediate family can do more than enough to make it special.

MissingInAct Sun 06-Jan-13 21:06:44

YABU.
I would never send a card in these circumstances, ie wo a party or something like this. In our house, the only cards the dcs receive are the ones from close family members.
My very close friends would not send a card for my dcs (and nor would I do it for theirs either) mainly because they are my friends and not my dcs tbh.

God parents are a bit different. For me they are more like family but then again if my own god parents are to take as an example, I have never received a card or a present from them (different reasons) as a child either. If my dcs had a god parent, I wouldn't expect it either. If they did, that would be a bonus.

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 06-Jan-13 21:07:18

They may be 'backing off' because you sound quite intense about a birthday!!

We have one good friend who has always sent our dds cards and gifts and we do hers. If I suddenly stopped without discussion I think she would be narked, as I would if she stopped. It's nice to do so anyway. My understanding is that the OP is not expecting all her friends to do this but that she has a circle of friends who have in the past and now this year have not?

MissingInAct Sun 06-Jan-13 21:10:15

dried yes my mum has her b'day a day before christmas. Yes her b'day sort of disappears.
Yes we rarely do anything special on that day. Too busy running around and trying to organize christmas. Trying to get to the place where we will spend christmas (and of course, now with the dcs I am not always there for her b'day either).

It can look crap but that's life and one reason why I carefully avoided having a due date in december/january

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 06-Jan-13 21:10:32

Well we are all tightening our belts and life is busier than ever....

SarahStratton Sun 06-Jan-13 21:10:39

It's nor their job to make your child's birthday special. It's not their job to ensure your PFB doesn't feel piqued because their birthday falls near Christmas or New Year or any other particular day.

it is, however, your job to not bring up a spoilt, entitled child.

So, not god parents, they just had special roles at her naming ceremony.

And their friends kids have clearly not been invited to any party, so yabu in expecting presents.

driedapricots Sun 06-Jan-13 21:12:08

i have 2 dc. Dd has received cards in the past from said people. we exchange xmas cards with people we rarely see..as am sure many people do. i personally would feel a right meanie not sending cards to these friends' dc..& dd is 5..shes just learning what friends do/dont do etc......no bday party this year bcos i am NOT a precious mother who indulges in showy parties every year believe it or not (im too busy writing cards for all the worlds children!!)

shallweshop Sun 06-Jan-13 21:12:38

Bloody hell, there are some really angry, rude, intolerant people on here! OP, I think it is reasonable to expect God parents to send cards but not friends. In my experience, I have found that friends sent cards for the first few years for my DC and then they tailed off.

Unless these "god parents" have some special ungodly role teaching your child agnosticism or atheism there is no need to give them any title at all, as they dont really have a role?

It actually get on my tits when people annex religious roles, and apply them to absolutely nothing at all.

hmm

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 06-Jan-13 21:16:46

Well that's what's happening here.... It's tailing off.... Shes 5 now

SarahStratton Sun 06-Jan-13 21:19:08

You are still BU though. You would be better to teach your DC that they are neither entitled to cards or anything else from anyone.

Both my DDs are Christened and Confirmed, of all their God parents only one is still in touch and bothers with birthdays and Christmases. I have ditched one of my Godchildren purely because his parents were so unrelentingly obsessed with my performance as a Godparent, they drove me potty.

StepfordWannabe Sun 06-Jan-13 21:22:17

Not having a bad day at all - birthday preciousness gets on my wick. It is the parents' job to make children feel special on their birthday (my dd has hers just before Christmas btw) but NOONE else's. I reiterate and stand by my original comment of "grow up ffs'

Floggingmolly Sun 06-Jan-13 21:51:30

What role do god parents play in a non religious naming ceremony? Genuine question.

Paiviaso Sun 06-Jan-13 22:06:37

YABU. You should not expect your adult friends to send birthday cards to your children.

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