It's my 1st time posting here, so a bit nervous. Hello!
Been married 8 years, have a DS who has just turned 4, and a DD who is nearly 2. DS is a complete chatterbox, talks & asks question from the second he wakes up to the second he goes to sleep 
DD is going through a clingy phase and will grab my legs and shout if I try to leave the room. I promise this is relevant info!
DH is an amazing husband, is lovely, kind, funny, great dad, helps with housework, works hard etc.. but lately he's seemed really dependant on me, or at least my opinion. I know this sounds like a strange thing to complain about, and I feel like I'm being a bit of a bitch for this winding me up 
This morning, for eg, in the space between waking up and leaving for work (about an hour) he had asked me in quick succession, "What's the weather like?" (completely normal question, I hadn't been outside so told him to stick his head out of the window to check) followed by (and here's the problematic bit) "Do you think it's cold? Should I wear an extra jumper? Is my black coat better, or the grey one?" etc etc. then "I feel ill. When I do x it feels y and z. Do you think I should take some medicine? Which medicine is best? What do you think? Where should I buy it? Is it expensive?"
Now all this sounds really innocent, but on his day off it's pretty constant. "I hate my job. Should I change my job? What should I do? What should I have done about that meeting? What can I do about that phone call I have to make? Do you think my colleagues are pissed off with me? How can I study for my exam? Will you help me? I can't do it, can I. What would you do?!" Or, "Did you hear that story on the news? Why would that happen? Does that usually happen? Where did it happen" I don't know if I'm explaining, it very well, but it's not like discussing things, it feels like he wants my opinion on everything he says or does or might do in the future, and I don't know why but it's exhausting!
Am I being a selfish bitch? 
I really love it that he values my opinions, and believes I have the brains and energy to help him, but after a day of being talked at and questioned by a very talkative DS, followed around and clung to by DD, then hit with a barrage of questions and problems I have to solve, I just want to hide and cry and shout there's not enough of me to go around!
He really is lovely, so I feel terrible for feeling like this. I do love talking to him in general, it's just being followed around when I'm busy and asked loads of questions that is making me a bit twitchy. Oh, and he's started calling me "Mummy", it is freaking me out! 
AIBU?
AIBU to not want to be my DH's life coach?
ThatsNotMySock · 05/01/2013 23:15
OP, you should send him to me!
I am constantly telling DH to remember his packed lunch/take a warm coat/drive carefully if it's icy...... I try not to but it just blurts out....
Oh thank you so much everyone, I feel better for that and less like a bitch!
ILoveSalad That is so true! I kind of walk around in this fog of everyone else chatting at me, trying to work out what i was supposed to be doing! It is exhausting.
hiddenhome AgentZigzag It does feel a bit like he wants me to mother him actually which feels a bit.. icky.. He'll do it more when the kids are around, but he will follow me from room to room calling "Mummy! Mummy! Muuuuumyyy!" EXACTLY like our 4 yr old does! I've lightheartedly told him to cut it out, maybe I need to be a bit more shouty. He also does it when we're alone and he's feeling tired/stressed, he'll snuggle into me saying "mummy.. help me!"
Just start answering with random phrases, so "what's the weather like?" "magenta haddock"
What jumper should I wear?" "Frilly banana bicycle fish"
What's for tea? "Rocking all over the world" then hum the chorus loudly.
Say these things totally deadpan, as though you've given him a sensible answer, and if he says what? or pardon? say it again, in a patient tone as though he's not listening. Then walk off and start doing something/carry on with what you were doing.
If he calls you mummy, dial MiLs number and pass him the phone.
Or just LTB now before he drives you completely insane I would have seriously exploded by now I think, at the behaviour you describe, I just couldn't bear it.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
'"mummy.. help me!"'
Fucking hell 
that would freak me right out for sure.
But try to look behind the words, that he's looking to go back to a time when he was looked after and his life was ordered by someone else who'd make it all alright.
It's desperate isn't it? And it's good he's looking to you to shore him up, but it's just so unfortunate the way it's coming out.
Instead of saying it to him through a closed door you need to work out how you can reassure him without him regressing into being a 4 YO again.
Are you scared you'll hurt him if you say how it makes you feel? Does he lay it on thick when you have said something, which he could be doing without realising, but he's possibly using it as a ploy so you don't call him on it?
If you don't resolve it things will be much worse than they are for you, you'll end up shrinking from him and resenting him for leaning on you too hard.
PomBear that's hysterical 
I'm definitely going to try that! I'm going to write all of those on my hand on his next day off!
Zigzag I don't think he'd be hurt, I think he'd feel guilty for stressing me out but he wouldn't try to guilt trip me or anything. I'd feel bad in case he thought it meant he couldn't talk to me about anything. It does all feel a bit desperate, and I know he gets stressed about his job but he loves it and doesn't want to change it so I'm at a bit of a loss for what I can say. We've talked before and I've said about finding a different job but he doesn't want to do that. Yet still he complains [grins]
Lottie Thanks, those are really good ideas. We've talked about it before and he does seem to know how to change but just seems overwhelmed or unmotivated. I'd like him to take responsibility for it as I think he knows what to do. I would like to be able to help him but there's only so much I can do especially when I'm knackered
Dexys I would much rather be in this kind of relationship that one with a grumpy monosyllabic uncommunicative bloke, but I know what you mean about it getting under your skin. Once you've noticed it I'm sure it gets worse as well!
Eldritch I was crying with laughter at this - "he has started asking me to summarise news stories for him, so he doesn't have to listen to and absorb the TV news. He does this while we are watching the TV news" - I've had exactly the same thing ! Too funny yet incredibly irritating!
I don't even want get started on the "Where's my/Have you seen my
littlemonkeychops We do talk about it now and again, but never seem to really resolve anything. He doesn't want to change the things that stress him out.. Maybe it's time for another talk.
Eldritch My mum once gave me great advice for calming my oldest when he was a very clingy, grumpy baby - distract him with food, boob or shiny things! Maybe I need to try the same tactic with DH?? Slightly worrying!
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Always reply with a vacant look "dunno"
Also good for teenagers 
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