About a mother-to-be using racist language about her baby?

(131 Posts)

Met a friends sister recently, and she mentioned that she was pregnant. She is white and the father of the baby is black. Several times throughout the evening she referred to her unborn baby by using a racist term.

I found this very uncomfortable but decided not to say anything about it as I didn't want to cause an argument, however my friend noticed and asked her to apologise to me - which she did but half-heatedly.

Normally I would always challenge someone using language which I consider offensive, I didn't on this occasion as if she is in a relationship with someone of a different colour then surely she cannot actually be a racist, maybe she was just making a poor decision of a joke? She is definitely still in a relationship with the father of the baby, as she was arranging to meet him later that evening.

WIBU by not challenging her choice of language?

AmberLeaf Sat 05-Jan-13 11:34:00

That is a prime example of why reclaiming words is bullshit.

It allows their use in a derogatory sense.

If she means the word with teasing love then it wasn't racist

That is so screwed up I can't even begin.

trapclap Sat 05-Jan-13 11:49:47

No, I have told you why I support the word. And there is a school of thought that believes the word is Arabic in origin. It is entirely possible that it has 2 origins. There are many words that mean different things in different languages.

Still confused as to what you think I haven't addressed

DrRanj Sat 05-Jan-13 11:51:20

I am sorry but I still find referring to women as bitches, hos, bints, or any other derogatory term offensive even though other women may choose to call themselves that. And I know plenty of black people who would not use the n word and would find it offensive in any context.

May not be the same thing, and I am white so I am not going to tell people what they should or shouldn't be offended by, but I would not use the fact that other black people use the n word as an excuse to get away with saying it myself, whether I was using it to reply to my unborn child or not.

Personally I would warn the girl against saying it, she is goi g to seriously upset people (including op already) if she thinks it's on to keep Usi g that expression in any company.

DrRanj Sat 05-Jan-13 11:53:18

Oh and mulatto to me has horrible connotations. Often used in American historical fiction, and refers to a very marginalised group who are shunned by both sides in this context, so forme conjures negative images from my limited experience of the word.

AmberLeaf Sat 05-Jan-13 12:17:05

No, I have told you why I support the word. And there is a school of thought that believes the word is Arabic in origin. It is entirely possible that it has 2 origins

That theory is debunked. google it.

It is not entirely possible that it has two origins, it is well documented that its use in this context is based in slavery.

You really haven't told me why you support it!

Tell me how it is empowering?

TBH you sound like you are basing your argument on something you have read on Mulatto.org without fully understanding the background or the massive holes in the arguments for its use.

AmberLeaf Sat 05-Jan-13 12:19:47

Its origins are a moot point anyway, its historical use was never ever positive.

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