to be abit pissed off with mil and sil?

(32 Posts)
diddiehunter Wed 02-Jan-13 18:58:18

Long topic, apologies and its my first time of posting too so apologies if im not up to scratch grin

Im married to my childhood sweetheart of 11 years, we have three dcs. Iv always had a fabulous and rather unusual relationship with my mil...best friends, we have spent alot if time together,had many heart to hearts and she is my confidante and whenever iv had any sort of issues with my dh,shes completely to take my side (so long as im right, she would instantly tell me if i wasnt! ) i usually see her everyday and when we had a massive tradgedy in the familh and my dhs youngest sister was killed in a crash ten yrs ago we became much closer and helped eachother through.

My sil is a different person. Taken a.looong time to see eye to eye, i dont know why she doesnt like me but we are very different. Shes very rich and employs her mother to cook,clean and care for her ds while she and.her dh work full time (yes,awkward setup but we are used to it.)
The problem is now that my sil is pregnant for a second time, shes oretry much moved back in with her mother and has become even more of a bitch than ever. I literally cant do anything right! Even the way i bring up my kids isnot acceptable to her, the gifts i buy my children are immoral to her (i bought them some clothes, to my sil its an,awful gift as its not toys. It essential, not a luxury.to her mayb? She bought her son a wiiu, an ipad,ipod,a lush hatbox, 3 ds, and a season ticket to united in a private box....hes 9) iv tried to talk to my mil, but its like shes been brainwashed by sil? ! Basically,she has money and lots of it, the rest of us are hard grafters but skint and shes gotten her mother outta the crap many of times. She has her generous moments,dont get me wrong, bout a house so we could rent it from her indefinitelysmile but noone will say a word to sil as she has a hold.over everyone it seems so can get away with it! Im getting fed up,frankly and ready to pop! Or aibu? ? ?

diddiehunter Wed 02-Jan-13 20:04:03

missymoo it came from my mils mouth! it was me that wasnt comfortable with that idea! i think she was obv in shock over losing her daughter but even if me n my hubby split... she said that im still family as i was sil best friend and thats important to her. i know we sound like a mad family! its not been easy, we are not conventional or average in anyway but until you have lost a child in this way, its hard to judge. i dnt think she looks at me as a replacement now, just something said at the time of deep loss and mourning, but it set in place a very deep bond betwen us that clearly noone else has with their own mil...... stands in corner alone

ihearsounds Wed 02-Jan-13 20:06:44

So she likes to treat your dd, provides a home for you at reduced market cost and has a working relationship with her mum yet she is a bitch?

You say you don't have anyone else to get advice from? What about your husband, mates? What does he say about all of this?

diddiehunter Wed 02-Jan-13 20:11:28

my husband is also mad at his sisters actions but he is reluctant to speak with her. i am currently in the process getting him to. my mates are my family, esp my mil.

i know it sounds wierd but its hard to write it in one reasonably sized thread! im careful not to slag off my family to the other side of the family i.e my family so i cant speak to my mum.

DameFannyGallopsBEHINDyou Wed 02-Jan-13 20:11:42

Erm, she's a rich social worker? I'm guessing she married money? hmm

diddiehunter Wed 02-Jan-13 20:13:39

yes she married money. and she can be so lovely sometimes but so damn bitchy too. its my mil i feel most upset by....if it was two best mates and they were doing this im sure everyone would be saying get rid! i know i would be! so much harder with family.

lollystix Wed 02-Jan-13 20:18:45

I really think you need to try and distance yourself and build more of a life outside if this relationship (MIL and SIL). You sound very consumed by it and I do understand to some degree how that feels with my MIL and SIL. I honestly think you need to look at reducing contact if possible and also moving out even if it is to somewhere smaller. It's sad that you feel MIL is now rejecting you but relationships do evolve and I don't think you can control this. It's not positive for you as you feel judged, beholden and intimidated by SIL. All of this will damage your confidence and hurt. It's a new year and you shouldn't surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Distance. sad

diddiehunter Wed 02-Jan-13 20:29:55

lollystix, thankyou for your advice. yes i think i do... and thinking about it, its all ive ever really known for ten years. they are my friends as well as family.

im deffo intimidated by sil. she is one scary lady at times. and my confidence isnt the best, probably why i stick by my family in the first place.

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