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AIBU?

To feel a bit sad for my DH after comments made about my giving birth to DD4?

82 replies

RubyGrace17 · 31/12/2012 13:02

Hi all,

I gave birth to DD4 on Christmas Eve. We, and both families, are thrilled. We didn't find out the sex in advance and would have homestly been happy either way. Our girls are delighted to have a new baby sister and we've been enjoying adjusting to being a family of 6 over Christmas.

However, today DH went into his office to pick up some files and took the girls to get a bit of breakfast, leaving DD4 with me to get some rest. Everyone was full of congratulations, apart from the senior partner, who has just become a dad for the first time to twin boys, in November. One of DH's female colleagues asked if we were "finished" having babies, now we're at 4, to which DH said that we were most likely finished as I'm planning on going back to work in August. The partner piped up "What a shame, you'll never experience being a "true father"" My DH asked what he meant and he claimed that a man only experiences true fatherhood when you are a father to a son.

DH happened to mention this to me in the passing, in a "how ridiculous is this" sort of a way but I feel a bit sad for DH, in my hormonal state! I am I being unreasonable to think this is a shitty thing to say? The partner by the way is 62 and holds rather chauvinistic views about life in general.

Thank you for any replies!
Ruby

OP posts:
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shrimponastick · 31/12/2012 13:05

Congratulations !

Yanbu. Husbands colleague is a twat.

Enjoy your family.

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ddubsgirl · 31/12/2012 13:05

hes a twat,we have had the same but other way round,we have 4 boys and been told oh what a shame,your not a real dad unless you have a girl! you cant win,ingore and enjoy the new baby x

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AKissIsNotAContract · 31/12/2012 13:05

The senior partner is a dickhead. It's just as well he only has sons if he has such a negative view of daughters. Imagine being a daughter of a horrible dad like him.

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mrsjay · 31/12/2012 13:06

IS the partner usually such a twat what an arse my dh is happy to have girls boys never entered the conversation when we decided on not having anymore, I had a friend of my aunts say to me aww what a shame never mind you can always try for a boy,

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sarahseashell · 31/12/2012 13:06

Shock that's terrible! silly man.

congratulations on your baby Smile I'm sure your dh is delighted

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MrsAceRimmer · 31/12/2012 13:06

Congratulations on your 4th beautiful daughter!
Partner is a twat. Simples.
Never heard such bollocks in my life Confused

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shrimponastick · 31/12/2012 13:06

Congratulations !

Yanbu. Husbands colleague is a twat.

Enjoy your family.

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Bonsoir · 31/12/2012 13:06

IMO all parents get a fuller experience of parenting if they have at least one child of each sex. It doesn't mean your life is wasted if you don't have one of each though!

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Olbasoil · 31/12/2012 13:07

The senior partner is a silly arse and therefore should be ignored. Congratulations to you all on the birth of your little dd

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ImperialSantaKnickers · 31/12/2012 13:08

YANBU, I'm not hormonal and it IS a shitty thing to say! Congratulations.

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SugaricePlumFairy · 31/12/2012 13:09

The prat who said that to your dh is a dickhead!

Congratulations to you and your dh on having a beautiful new baby. Smile

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festivelyfocussed · 31/12/2012 13:09

What a knob!
Of course it was a shitty thing to say. It's also utterly untrue and one of the more ridiculous things I've heard said about parenting!!
Congratulations on the birth of your new baby girl.

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mumof4sons · 31/12/2012 13:09

Congrats on No 4!

What a horrible thing to say!

I am the mum of 4 great boys - no one has ever said to me that I'm not a 'true mum' because I don't have a girl.

Ignore such comments - enjoy the new baby girl!

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ISawSantaKissingThePortlyPinUp · 31/12/2012 13:10

I have 4dd's and dp gets the same sort of comments. It's pathetic in this day and age.

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foreverondiet · 31/12/2012 13:11

Stupid (and untrue / ridic) thing to say - each child is different regardless of sex. Would be like telling someone with 2 children they aren't a real parent as they have 2 children rather than four.

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weegiemum · 31/12/2012 13:11

Senior partner is a dick!

Dh & I have dd1, ds, dd2.

He never felt "less of a father" because he has 2 girls and one boy.

A male parent is essential to girls - a man who loves them for who they are (whether resident or not!) boosts theirself esteem and reduces risks of eating disorders.

Be glad your 4 beautiful girls have such a loving father!

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yohohoho · 31/12/2012 13:12

He is twat. As he is a twat anything he says should be instantly disregarded as twatish.

Congrats.

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Ruprekt · 31/12/2012 13:13

What a pillock!!!!!!!

Ignore him and enjoy your new baby.

What did you call her? Did you struggle for a girl name when you had 3 DD's?

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ThePathanKhansWitch · 31/12/2012 13:13

What a twat! Next time some edjit makes a silly comment, your dh will just have to reply "Yes, it's just my lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women"
Congratulations to you all.

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HuffleWitch · 31/12/2012 13:13

Well obviously, having just become a father at the age of 62, he is an expert on fatherhood!

Unfortunately the world is full of people with strange (even just plain wrong) ideas, and he seems to be one of them.

Congratulations on your fabulous DC4!

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piprabbit · 31/12/2012 13:13

Silly man.

I think there is something very special and wonderful about the relationship between father and daughters...but then again there is something special about every parent's relationship with their children.

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TheoxenandDonkeyskneltdown · 31/12/2012 13:14

Congratulations on your 4th DD! Honestly what a twat that senior partner is, evidently has some sort of Henry VIII attitude to offspring - dismiss that remark about being a 'true father' from your mind.

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Ruprekt · 31/12/2012 13:14

So is a mother of 4 boys not a true mother!

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LynetteScavo · 31/12/2012 13:14

That is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard of anyone saying!

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FlojoHoHoHo · 31/12/2012 13:15

YANBU that is awful, its bad enough to think it but to say it out loud is ridiculous, shame your DH didn't tell him this!

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