To think badly written sex scenes in fan fiction

(77 Posts)
BalthierBunansa Mon 31-Dec-12 00:16:19

may be some of the funniest things ever?

Observe grin imgur.com/Jg60J

IAmNotAReindeer Mon 31-Dec-12 00:25:59

grin There must be more out there.

BananaBubbles Mon 31-Dec-12 00:31:07

There is a Snape/Tellytubby slash fic out there,but do not read it if you value your sanity.

SirBoobAlot Mon 31-Dec-12 00:41:26

"Like pissing but better". Awesome.

I don't think I could get far enough in a piece of fiction as purple as that to get to the sex scenes - it's usually a couple of sentences then mashing the backspace button and bleaching my eyes.

Someone needs to link to the infamous 'My Immortal'

BananaBubbles Mon 31-Dec-12 00:47:28

Done. My Immortal.

<tries to resist the urge to read again... fails>

It's so, so bloody awful that it's addictive.. To whit... "And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."

muffinino82 Mon 31-Dec-12 00:59:23

My Immortal is a work of terrifying genius grin

freddy05 Mon 31-Dec-12 01:02:24

There are some real bad ones that's for sure but there are some hot ones as well wink

I've never read tellytubby slash fic I have to admit but I might search the archive for some!

There are indeed some good ones and I've spent most of this evening on the sofa reading them

SirBoobAlot Mon 31-Dec-12 01:06:15

Oh God I'm going to be up for hours reading and PMSL now...

freddy05 Mon 31-Dec-12 01:11:59

Link Mrsdmitri? wink

BonkeyMollocks Mon 31-Dec-12 01:14:37

Shameless place marking to read tomorrow grin

soontobeburns Mon 31-Dec-12 01:16:12

Yes im not alone!! I love fanfics and no one I know does. So im normal.

Good thread. Hmm sorry continue.

Unless you have a particular yen for Teen Wolf slash fanfiction it probably wouldn't be that meaningful tbh, but have the link to the rather useful Archive Of Our Own (or AO3 as it's known) and you can find many many fandoms that may interest you...

blahblahblahyah Mon 31-Dec-12 01:20:29

Link to a hot one!!!

freddy05 Mon 31-Dec-12 01:22:15

so so not alone soontobeburns, smile

this would be my Sherlock favourite I think.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/220056

That would be my hang out of choice MrsDmitr Brilliant place you can find anything you need there and lots of things you never knew you wanted wink

soontobeburns Mon 31-Dec-12 01:27:16

Yeah just read my immortal. What the fuck lol.

And just to say liking GC, MCR and simple plan doesnt make you an emo. I love them. Silly author lol.

MrsMushroom Mon 31-Dec-12 01:41:40

"It was snowing and raining which I was happy about." grin My Immortal is frigging genius it's so bad it's good!

Tee2072Thing Mon 31-Dec-12 05:25:32

I was just going to suggest AO3. You might find a familiar author name there...

MardyArsedMidlander Mon 31-Dec-12 08:07:36

I bloody love fanfic- some of it is so well written and erotic (try nautibiz,com) - but the WORSE oy my worh. It reads like one of those Describing Twister exercises- including one where the couple were having missionary position sex and she was kissing him on the nape of his neck confused

Or any that uses the phrases 'manhood' or 'womanhood'..

EuphemiaInExcelsis Mon 31-Dec-12 08:19:09

Oh my goodness life is too short to read that trash! I feel my very life force draining away ...

FiftyShedsOfGrey Mon 31-Dec-12 08:21:35

"“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"

I can't stop laughing!

Nixea Mon 31-Dec-12 08:23:43

"Or any that uses the phrases 'manhood' or 'womanhood'.."

Or indeed 'elfhood' grin

does not admit to browsing through LOTR slash fanfiction, no not at all

Peevish Mon 31-Dec-12 10:49:41

Nixea, are you a former LOTR slasher? grin Oh, I remember the days of elfhood, and Boromir/Faramir, and highly anatomically unlikely couplings between hobbits and men....

Agreed that amidst the hilarious dross, there are some good fan fictions out there, though it's years since I even looked. For instance, the Harry Potter fandom was completely bonkers, but there's a rather good novel-length fanfic called 'Chaos is Come Again' set in a dystopian version of the HP future, in which there is forced marriage among Purebloods to stop them dying out. It's Snape/Hermione.

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