to think I'd want to remain conscious if dying - not be in a Liverpool Care 'Coma"

(136 Posts)
Isabeller Sun 30-Dec-12 23:13:04

The publicity about the apparent misuses of LCP are upsetting to read about. I first heard of it a couple of years ago and thought it sounded like a good caring way of looking after someone who was dying but recent news reports give a very different picture.

How I feel now is that I would not want to be sedated - is it possible to refuse such medication in advance?

I'm not saying anyone else should feel this way of course.

Several members of my family are thinking about making Lasting Powers of Attorney and I wonder if it should go in there. I'm not ill or anything BTW.

needasilverlining Wed 02-Jan-13 20:23:57

I have never admitted this to anyone else, but the thought of dying terrifies me so much that i routinely have panics about it in the small hours. Can't imagine discussing this with parents and potentially doing same to them, or DH. Hell yes I'd want to be sedated.

I have no faith, no comforting thoughts to hang on to. Those of you in same boat, any strategies that you use?

JakeBullet Wed 02-Jan-13 20:35:34

I used to do this as well need and you are not alone.

I don't think about it very often these days and put the times I did down to anxiety about other issues in my life. They are I trust e thoughts and its finding a way of blocking them that can be hard.
Not much help I know but don't want you to feel you are alone out there.

My auntie who died two years ago said to me once that in the past she had been very ill and reached a point where she simply did not care if she died (she actually recovered at that point) and told me that with her cancer she was approaching it along the same lines...ie when it happened she would not know or care.

JakeBullet Wed 02-Jan-13 20:36:07

"Intrusive thoughts" can't type on an iPad.

needasilverlining Wed 02-Jan-13 21:33:30

Jake, you're right that thoughts are a lot worse when depression/anxiety recurring, and the idea that you change as you age is one I haven't really factored in. Thank you.

And to anyone who has experienced any of the things I've read on this thread; I am heartfelt sorry if it has sounded like self-indulgent twattery.

needsa, it's not self-indulgent twattery - death is the last taboo - we need to discuss it more.

DD's dad died last night. She was holding his hand, he was peaceful. No more pain, no more discomfort, some level of consciousness maybe, hopefully, to hear her last words to him.The staff in the hospice were amazing. When it's my time, if I can't go quickly, I'd like to go like that.

apostropheuse Thu 03-Jan-13 19:24:51

You're not being self-indulgent at all needasilverlining. Lots of people have a fear of death. You cannot help how you feel.

I have strong faith and I still have wobbles - what if?

Even if you have no faith, though, at the end of the day if there is nothing after, as some people think, then you won't know anything about it anyway.

JakeBullet Thu 03-Jan-13 19:28:21

If its any comfort silverlining one of my friends is a Catholic priest and even he admits to wobbles about it all.....usually when he has partaken of too much red wine wink.

He is also very entertaining at those times on his thoughts about the local Bishop who he hates grin.

Isabeller Fri 04-Jan-13 21:29:26

I am very grateful and moved by everyone's willingness to talk about death and dying.

All the responses have helped me to think far beyond the questions that prompted me to start the thread and there has been something personally profound about it all happening during a time I have been caring for someone who is very frail and being part of the support team around the birth of her first great granddaughter on New Year's Day.

Isabella, I'm sure I'm not the only one who was glad you brought it up. I hope all the family are doing well.

Isabeller Thu 07-Feb-13 10:52:06

Thank you tall, the person I care for enjoyed a visit from 3 generations last weekend including 3 babies. Very moving. thanks

That's lovely smile

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