to feel that we cannot possibly accept this?

(229 Posts)
OhThePlacesYoullGo Fri 28-Dec-12 13:55:09

My BF and I have been together for six months now and have just decided to move in together after finding out I am pregnant earlier this month. While this was completely unplanned, we are now both very happy and excited about having a baby together. I was initially very concerned about finances as my bf still has another 1.5 years before finishing med school and I am in the first year of my (paid) doctorate. However, I have since found out that I am entitled to maternity pay and as I have some savings, figured we would somehow be able to wing it until he starts work, even if that does involve sharing a studio flat and second hand baby clothes.

I met BF's parents for the first time earlier this month, which is also when we told them that I am pregnant. Let's just say BF and I are from COMPLETELY different backgrounds, as in I grew up in foster care and he went to boarding school and goes rowing and they have a freakin' beach house 'for weekends'. So I was already scared witless that they would be less than impressed at him bringing me home.

They had us over for Christmas and have now offered us a flat. I mean, what???? I barely know them, they probably think I am some kind of gold digger and getting pregnant was a ruse to get their son. BF thinks I am being crazy and that it's no problem at all. But I am not, am I now? That's not normal; I don't know them. I cannot let them give us a flat. We will manage somehow.

sarahtigh Mon 31-Dec-12 18:07:40

yes illegimate children do have the same rights now, except as regards inheritance of titles etc, also some farms/ estates will have something called an entail which protects the land for the blood family for themselves, so it would not be sold or split up, so generally eldest son inherits it all

so technically if Kate had a child with Prince William before they married he/she would not be heir to the throne, to be heir they would have to marry before the birth not after

Take it, be grateful and suitably thankful without grovelling. If it were me
I would consider putting all or part of what you were expecting to pay in rent into a savings account so that you have a cushion should you need it.

forehead Mon 31-Dec-12 20:25:14

My advice is simple. Don't be tempted to give up work and save as much money as you can.
I know many women who have married a 'kind, generous man' and have been left in the lurch when the 'kind, generous man' abandoned them. Just protect yourself.
Sleigh and Flatbread are not being pessimistic, they are being realistic.

Lavenderhoney Tue 01-Jan-13 04:50:53

That law must have been put in place quite recently about illegitimate children? My cousin had a baby just before she married in 2007 and they told her to make sure she re registered after the marriage, due to potiential problems with inheritance and the child was issued with new paperwork.

Thanks for telling mesmile I don't want to say things and get it wrong.

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