to teach my kids rude lyrics to Christmas carols? And can you expand my repertoire?

(87 Posts)
HughFearnlyShittingFuck Mon 10-Dec-12 12:11:34

We have:

While shepherds washed their socks
Good King Wenceslas falling out of the bedroom window
We three kings, one in a taxi etc

Any more?

Oh, and AIBU to encourage this? I think it is as much part of our cultural heritage as the carols themselves... but I am VERY juvenile...

RedHelenB Mon 10-Dec-12 12:12:11

rude lyrics or the wrong words?

HughFearnlyShittingFuck Mon 10-Dec-12 12:13:41

eh?

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 12:14:40

I assume that you wouldnt teach them to sing "while shepherds washed their cocks by night"... which is rude...

HughFearnlyShittingFuck Mon 10-Dec-12 12:16:20

No, that might be a bit much... I wouldn't teach them anything that would actually get them excluded from school

mind you ds2 would roar with laughter at "washed their cocks" grin

ChantandbeHappy Mon 10-Dec-12 12:17:31

Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away.
Father Christmas lost his knickers on the motorway

Am also rather juvenile grin

manicinsomniac Mon 10-Dec-12 12:18:48

Not really a Christmas carol but:

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin flew away
Mr Silly lost his willy
on the motorway
Hey!

Very juvenile grin

HughFearnlyShittingFuck Mon 10-Dec-12 12:19:07

star of wonder, star of night
sat on a box of dynamite

I love Christmas grin

ChantandbeHappy Mon 10-Dec-12 12:22:43

We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Only tuppence a pair

SnowMuchToBits Mon 10-Dec-12 12:22:44

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On a cabbage garden
Bumped into a Brussels sprout
And said "I beg your pardon"
These are all the words we know
Can't learn any more
Give us tuppence now to go
Or we'll kick the doo-oo-or!

We three kings of orient are wearing ladies underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Only 3p a pair

O star of wonder, star of bright
50 cops on a motorbike
Westward leading, still they're speeding
(Can't recall the last line)

While shepherds washed their socks by night all seated by the tub
The angel of the Lord came down and said "rub a dub dub"

QuacksForDoughnuts Mon 10-Dec-12 12:23:04

Probably a bit old for them, but my favourite as a teenager was:
While shepherds watched their flocks by night

By the river deep
The RSPCA came round
And said 'don't shag the sheep'

(I lived in Suffolk)

HughFearnlyShittingFuck Mon 10-Dec-12 12:23:31

<toes wiggling with delight>

these are great!

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 10-Dec-12 12:25:12

Santa Claus you cunt where's my fucking bike.

Actually no just no that's far to rude

SnowMuchToBits Mon 10-Dec-12 12:31:19

Or

While Shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub
A bar of Sunlight soap came down
And they began to scrub

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Mon 10-Dec-12 13:07:53

The version I know from school:

While shepherds washed their socks by night
All watching BBC,
The angel of the Lord came down
And switched to ITV.

We three kings of Orient are, Two in a taxi, one in a car. (It does go on, not sure how)

AphraBehn Mon 10-Dec-12 13:20:18

isn't it

We 3 kings of Orient are
1 in a taxi, 1 in a car
1 on a scooter
beeping his hooter
smoking a long cigar

DeWe Mon 10-Dec-12 13:52:01

The original tune for While Shepherd watched is the one now more commonly known as "Ilkley Moor bar tat".

Dh has persuaded the church organist to play this tune for the Christmas service. I think some of the older generation might spontaniously combust. grin

We had the three Kings from Leamington Spa.

We also had "Yonder peasant it's JC" which was the nickname of the head. Sung with special gusto at the Carol service in front of all tha parents.

Clawdy Mon 10-Dec-12 14:52:49

We four Beatles of Liverpool are
Paul in a taxi,George in a car,
John on a scooter beeping his hooter
Following Ringo Starr.

Yes,I know that one really shows my age.....smile

manicinsomniac Mon 10-Dec-12 15:09:40

Good King Senseless last looked out
On the Feast of Stephen
A snowball gave his ear a clout
He cried 'I will get even'

Arthurfowlersallotment Mon 10-Dec-12 15:13:01

I've brought these gifts for you they're up in my bum.

FryOneFatChristmasTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 15:36:41

Our music teacher at primary school was responsible for teaching us the rude versions 35 years ago. He was also the Deputy Head grin

We three kings of leicester square
selling ladies underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Why don't you buy a pair?

O star of wonder, star of bright
Sit on a box of dynamite
light the fuse and you will see
the quickest way to the cemetary!

Very recently I heard DS and his classmates singing:

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin flew away
uncle billy lost his willy on the motorway. confused

DS can't tell me where that came from

KitchenandJumble Mon 10-Dec-12 16:47:21

We three kings of Orient are,
Smoking on a rubber cigar.
It was loaded,
It exploded.
That's how we traveled so far.

I thought you meant rude, but I guess you may want to wait a few years before teaching "Faunus the Roman Goat God" (to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer"

Faunus the Roman Goat-God
Had a very shiny prick
And if you ever saw it
You would say it is quite thick

All of the other deities
Used to leer suggestively
They.. always wanted Faunus
To Join in the revelry

Then one frosty Saturnal
Juno made this call
"Faunus since.. you're hung so well,
Won't you ring my solstice bell?"

Then all the others pouted
And they muttered jealously
"Faunus, the Roman goat-god
Better save a turn for me!"

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 16:55:05

Tramp 'O' Claus with lyrics

Do not...I repeat not teach it to the kids grin

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