Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

to not expect me ex to deny our relationship!?

(92 Posts)
dawsonjunior Sat 01-Dec-12 14:29:49

We weren't together for ages (4 months) but he introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends, heard him mention my on the phone to his parents, told each other that we loved one another.

He got chatting to someone who didn't know was my friend, she asked if he was single and he said yes since May.

He's my ex for a reason. But I wouldn't deny our relationship.

marchwillsoonbehere Sat 01-Dec-12 16:10:54

I can't see that anybody has called you troll, though there has maybe been some confused identification. Presumably however you are the same Dawsonjunior who talks about getting her ex back in a couple of months' time (a couple of days ago in Chat)

In that same thread you say you are 23. I don't want to belittle what you are feeling because I am sure from where you are standing it feels very real, but I promise you when you have been round the block a few more times you will blush and then-I hope- roll around laughing at your younger self!

manticlimactic Sat 01-Dec-12 16:13:45

I don't think you're a troll but you're all over MN like a rash. If a year long relationship had that many problems I would be spotting red flags galore, let alone 4 months. Dying inside after16 weeks? Dramallamaing. I'd say you had a lucky escape.

If you don't want to to bold YABU try Relationships.

manticlimactic Sat 01-Dec-12 16:15:59

Ah different poster. Then I'll ask again (generally, not to OP) wth is it with the 4 month mark. Is that the new make or break time limit on new relationships these days.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Sat 01-Dec-12 16:17:05

You are coming across as a desperate bunny boiler, which may be why he dumped you. He went out with you, he decided he didn't want to be with you any more and moved on. What he does with the rest of his life is none of your business, so why not work on your self esteem a bit, and get a hobby. Because if you carry on being this desperate for a committed relationship, you are going to drive away nice men and be an absolute magnet for abusive ones.

dawsonjunior Sat 01-Dec-12 16:18:07

How am I all over MN like a rash?

I think I have posted about my relationship twice? Once on chat and this thread right here.

nkf Sat 01-Dec-12 16:18:11

I think four months is long enough to know if you want to go further.

BluelightsAndSirens Sat 01-Dec-12 16:19:40

Are you the poster that had a thread running about the boyfriend who booked a trip to NY and then asked her to pay a lot of money ack to him as her half?

squeakytoy Sat 01-Dec-12 16:20:00

four months is long enough, but its clear that to the man in this relationship, he knew he didnt want it to go further.. it stings a bit, but you are not dying inside OP.. you will survive..

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sat 01-Dec-12 16:21:34

Any apologies for accusing us of troll hunting?

nkf Sat 01-Dec-12 16:22:41

You will get over it. You really will. Are you young? I don't want to sound like your grandmother but if you are taking it this hard, it sounds to me as if you are young.

All that talking about marriage etc, it's a sign often of emotional instability in a man. Quick feelings that die equally quickly.

nkf Sat 01-Dec-12 16:23:03

I mean, talk of marriage after four months.

marchwillsoonbehere Sat 01-Dec-12 16:24:44

Yes nkf OP is 23....from my perspective that is REALLY young grin

Dawson you have EVERYTHING to play for.

dawsonjunior Sat 01-Dec-12 16:25:17

BluelightsAndSirens no I'm fucking not ok?!

We went to NY and that we both paid. I have no idea who the other poster is, I've never even seen the other thread!!

Why don't you read what I've actually said.

dawsonjunior Sat 01-Dec-12 16:26:00

I'm 23 yes. That isn't young. The man I was seeing was 29.

squeakytoy Sat 01-Dec-12 16:26:43

someone had a lucky escape methinks..

marchwillsoonbehere Sat 01-Dec-12 16:27:03

Just to clarify, when I say you have everything to play for, I mean with someone who will love you as much as you love him/her. This particular one is over. Seems like he has moved on and you should do the same.

More easily said than done when you're so very young, but worth the effort!

marchwillsoonbehere Sat 01-Dec-12 16:28:22

Oh bless your heart ....nothing screams I am young quite so loudly as claiming that 23 isn't young!

FiercePanda Sat 01-Dec-12 16:28:38

Alright you're 23, you're not a teenager, but you're really immature. Get a grip, move on, it's over.

marchwillsoonbehere Sat 01-Dec-12 16:29:49

And 29 is hardly drinking up time in the last chance saloon either!

FiercePanda Sat 01-Dec-12 16:31:28

I'm 29. <gimmers>

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sat 01-Dec-12 16:31:46

why are you so angry with people asking questions?

Why have you not answered about why you are not mad at your friend? and why you think she did what she did? Do you think its ok for her to trick him?

Did you put her up to it? If so why?

Did you just want us to tell you he is a bastard? Sometimes that's what we need.

BluelightsAndSirens Sat 01-Dec-12 16:33:24

Ohh stroppy to boot, I've read the thread and asked a question thanks very fucking much.

And at 23 I had stopped playing silly games, I'd be more pissed that a friend thought it acceptable to fish from my ex.

squeakytoy Sat 01-Dec-12 16:34:37

Sounds more like a honeytrap than a fishing expedition...

Spero Sat 01-Dec-12 16:34:47

I am really sorry you are hurting, and I know it isn't fun at any age.

I don't want to play misery top trumps but I do want to encourage you to get some kind of perspective.

How do you think you would feel if you were 43, had a couple of kids and your husband of 10 years had just dumped you for someone else? I think you would then be justified in displaying enormous grief.

You have a good twenty years ahead of you to find someone lovely and have a family, if that is what you want. That's an enormous amount of time, but still too short to waste any of it in this way.

missymoomoomee Sat 01-Dec-12 16:35:09

23 is young. I speak as someone who got married at 21 and thought at the time I was mature enough. Looking back now I really wasn't and I am very fortunate that it worked out for me, it could so easily have gone the other way. It took a lot of work from both of us. Sadly your ex doesn't want this relationship anymore so your choices are to torture yourself about it or try and move on.

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