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to think that my friend shouldn't just let her 1yr old scream in public

(109 Posts)
fexedmamma Wed 28-Nov-12 16:45:57

he's always been a loud baby. He screams a lot (although only in public). It's not screams of anger or upset. It's more like screaming for screaming's sake. My friend just sits there whilst everyone around whinces in pain (it's an ear-piercing pitch). This happens is resturaunts and libraries. I find it very stressful and unpleasant. Worse still, my kids (who aren't screamers) start to copy.

egusta Thu 29-Nov-12 16:00:22

I have a screamer too. (He is 2.5). I also naughtystep him- stops him at home, but he is msart enough to realise that when were are out that there IS no naughty step.

I aso get a bit sick of the tut tuts and the judgy stuff. Am doing my best here guys....

Janeatthebarre Thu 29-Nov-12 16:03:15

Yes a library is a place all people can go if they observe the keeping quiet rule. You cannot go there if you intend to have a loud mobile phone conversation or practice the violin or whatever. Likewise,if you have a loud screechy baby then you should not go there either. It's called having a bit of consideration for other people. Just because a place is public, it doesn't mean anything goes.

ellee Thu 29-Nov-12 16:17:42

Maybe the friend came to the cafe to visit and see the OP so then felt it would be rude to leave straight away cause the baby is screaming?

Also, I've no clear idea of what level of screaminess we're on about here. An all out screaming baby would have to be taken out and calmed down somewhere but maybe he's just a bit shouty on and off? I've certainly stayed in that situation, esp if I'd made special arrangements to see a pal and get out of the damn house. Would always have had a pile of items for distraction though from bottle/soother to books/toys. Find it hard to believe someone would stay where a baby was totally hystercial and could not be calmed down?

Sorry, it's just "screaming" to me says hysterical type crying, might be wrong???

egusta - you can get portable naughty spots - check eg eBay.

You can try threatening to ask staff where the naughty step is. Some will catch on and oblige. We use "by the front door" which translates nearly everywhere!

egusta Thu 29-Nov-12 19:51:42

thank you! This might change my social life quite considerably! (and reduce the stress of going out... )

fexedmamma Fri 30-Nov-12 13:39:03

"I believe OP is exaggerating"

I'm really not. And tbh I'm re-evaluating whether or not to go out with her again, at least without anyone else there to share the endurance.

hazeyjane Fri 30-Nov-12 13:51:59

Some children with learning disabilities, physical disabilities and/or sensory impairments are 'screamers', and can't be 'stopped'. I assume the OP knows her friend well enough to be sure that this isn't the case with this DC. But it's worth considering the possibility if/when you see an unknown child screaming in a supermarket.

Yes to this^^!

fexedmamma Fri 30-Nov-12 21:54:06

"Maybe the friend came to the cafe to visit and see the OP so then felt it would be rude to leave straight away cause the baby is screaming?"

She just sits there and smiles. She doesn't even try to distract him.

"Also, I've no clear idea of what level of screaminess we're on about here."

I'm talking full-on, ear-piercing, painful excited screaming. Normally I put on a brave face when a friend's child is acting up, but even I can't act my way out of this one. My discomfort (and everyone elses) is plain to see because the scream is so loud, that you physically reach for your ears out of instinct.

I think that while you cannot necessarily stop a one-year-old from screaming, you should remove said screaming one-year-old from public areas in which people expect a quietish environment, e.g. the library, most restaurants/cafes.

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