...to start moaning mn career mums - the sequel..

(117 Posts)

... because the old one filled up before I could say this to HoneyDragon:

HoneyDragon - despite the home-made shepherds pie evidence to the contrary, I am a bloddy neglectful parent too. I haven't immaced my children or dyed them blue, but I did let ds1 eat tortilla chips out of the bin, because it had stopped him tantrumming, and I didn't want him to start again. Oh, and he got stuck in the catflap once, and I didn't realise straight away.

nochips grin.

egusta shock, that sounds horrible. That nice lady must have restored your belief in the kindness of human nature after being knocked down by Mr Important.

Well, re heads/bleeding - as of last night blush I have a story to contibute:
Long day at the office, I arrived home at the same time as Ds1 and 2 coming from their sports club. Some happy fooling around in the kitchen, DS2 (8) teased me about something, I still had my ginormous down jacket in my hand and made to put its hood over his head.
He took evasive action and ducked.
Dear Reader, he smacked his poor forehead hard against the corner of the kitchen worktop shock.
The noise on impact.
The noise from wailing.
Poor nanny was still present and stood with her mouth open - she'd had a 12 hours day (as had I) and could not believe her eyes.
Blood everywhere.

Pressure applied with dirty dishcloth, coldpack and then damage assessed: 1/2 cm cut, nice and clean, but deep.
Hey ho, couple of steri-strips later, he was right as rain and all day today has been delighting people with the story of how he 'annoyed mummy and she whacked my head off the kitchen worktop'.

I didn't touch him, honest, guv' (I cannot deny that I am quite glad to have a witness to events, though...) Dead proud he is of his war wound, too.

MakeItALarge Thu 29-Nov-12 22:45:23

Before I had my dc I was at a friends upstairs flat and the steps down were outside. She was argueing with her eldest dd so I helped by getting dd2 in her pram, pushing it to the top of the stairs then, as I turned round to lock the door, I knocked the pram down the concrete steps with my arse blush

The pram did two full rolls before landing right way up, her dd was screaming but didnt have a mark on her. I never got asked to babysit again grin

nochipsthanks Thu 29-Nov-12 21:33:40

Oh, we called NHS direct when our first DC was about 4 days old, and DH pulled the t-shirt down over his tummy and his stub of belly button popped off. I totally lost it and thought DS would bleed to death.

LittleBearPad Thu 29-Nov-12 20:30:53

Egusta that's horrible what a twat. I like the woman who paid for your cab.

I am choosing to believe that no bruise means I didn't bang my two week old DD's head into a doorframe tripping over a bloody bouncy chair. Cue hysterics (from me) and panicked call to NHS direct. Last month when she tipped off the sofa (DH's fault) I was rather more sanguine figuring if DH cried an then cheered up she was ok. slightly scared by unknown depressed head fracture

egusta Thu 29-Nov-12 11:10:48

It was horrendous. The asshole who pushed me (man in a suit, clearly rushing to get somewhere important) never even stopped. I had DS hanging half out, I had me with one leg down between the gap and my knee on the platform. Makes me shake even thinking about it. Have never taken him on a train since.

egusta - that one's making me feel sick. Thank heavens for nice ladies eh?

Neriberi - are you Peaches Geldof? grin

WilsonFrickett Wed 28-Nov-12 16:41:49

KatieScarlett has to win a prize for that one grin

neriberi Wed 28-Nov-12 15:52:53

I fell over while carrying my son through Didcot station to see Thomas the Tank Engine, I was wearing high heels at the time. I've also managed to tip my son out of his pushchair by misjudging the curb while talking on my mobile, I was wearing trainers at the time.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Wed 28-Nov-12 15:36:55

I stupidly left DS unattended on a nappy channging table, he was sat on it with his legs dangling over the edge. Of course he tumbled forward, face first onto a concrete floor, blood everywhere - the poor woman breastfeeding her newborn in the corner of the baby room was more hysterical than I was

whoneedssleepanyway Wed 28-Nov-12 15:18:15

I left DD2 in the back of a taxi in Lanzarote, the driver dropped us at the villa we all got out took bags in started looking around then DH and I looked at each other and said simultaneously "did you get DD2 out of the taxi" we both raced out of the door and he had driven off but stopped a few doors up to talk to someone, he hadn't even realised he still had a baby in the back either.

blush

egusta Wed 28-Nov-12 14:54:20

Do I win? i once tipped DS aged 18 months upside down almost out of his pram between the gap between train and platform.

(In my defence, I had not noticed he had gotten one arm out of the buckle, and I had been pushed hard from behind by an impatient asshole who was sick of me trying to manouvre said pram out off the train.

DS was 100% fine. I was in hysterics and a nice lady paid for me to get a taxi home.)

I once stupidly left DD aged about 3 unattended while I was on the phone.

She was very quiet, the conversation was interesting, all good thought I.

Till I began to get itchy about the length of the silence and went to look for DD

She was in the bathroom shaving her legs with her fathers razor.

After I'd had a shrieking breakdown I examined poor neglected DD to ascertain the level of razorage on her legs.

They were shaved perfectly, no cuts, no stubble, she could have been an ad for pretty polly.

We still laugh about that one round these parts grin

Spirael Wed 28-Nov-12 14:44:36

Oh, can I join? grin Being the terrible WOHM that I am, DH and I ended up being at Ikea with DD (almost 2) on a busy Saturday morning.

DD, while toddling along, fell over onto the concrete in the warehouse area and started howling. In a hurry and trying to get out of the way of the hoards of other customers, I just scooped her up, hurried after DH and made generic consoling noises along with "Oh you'll be fine..."

After seeing several shock expressions from other customers as I walked past them, and suddenly noticing my back was feeling rather warm, I reassessed the situation and belatedly discovered DD nose was bleeding profusely over both of us and leaving a nice trail along the floor.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 28-Nov-12 14:39:47

Absolutley Annie, no harm no foul.

<<Puts that forward as a contender for one of the mantras of the BMC>>

I feel like this is my spiritual home!

Out shopping with a very whingey DD who likes to drag her feet and walk 10 paces behind me. She had been moaning and whingeing all morning and I was fit to burst, so when I heard 'Muuuuum...' I snapped 'What now!?' in a 'I am about to combust with rage' voice, and the poor little girl walking with her mum behind me looked like the child catcher had come to life and had sniffed her out.... I have never grovelled to a stranger so much in my life [embarrassed]

Anniegetyourgun Wed 28-Nov-12 14:14:52

So you're saying it only counts as smacking their heads on the door frame if there's blood and/or bruising? Phew. In that case I never bumped any of my babies' heads on any door frames.

I suppose on that basis DS4 never did a back-flip off my arm and plunged head first onto the floor in AllSports either blush But you would have thought from all those customers' judgy faces that he had.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 28-Nov-12 14:09:14

Aww, sandwich pillow, nice and soft!

For some reason the dog is beautifully obedient when DS is eating and salivates from a polite distance. Unfortunately as soon as I lift him out all bets are off!

I once sat transfixed as DS picked something off the dog's back and ate it. I've convinced myself he was just pretending.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Wed 28-Nov-12 14:02:46

I am howling at this thread. And I don't even have children!

I was briefly a bad assistant Brownie leader. One of the girls had a habit of screaming loudly when excited, so I shouted at her to be quiet. Then realised that she'd tripped over and her nose was bleeding profusely...

We didn't have a dog at the high chair stage - now we have a lab and a lab cross who would catch any crumbs before they even hit the floor.

I once wondered why ds1 had gone so quiet in his highchair, whilst eating his lunch, so wandered out of the kitchen to find him fast asleep, pillowed on a marmite sandwich!

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 28-Nov-12 13:43:19

STDG I feel your pain. When DS first learnt to roll over he took on the function of a lint roller!

The problem now is mainly that when I get him out of his high chair him and the dog race to eat the dropped crumbs blush

Hayleyh34 Wed 28-Nov-12 13:13:28

My DH gets a lovely homecooked meal every night by cooking it himself!

catgirl1976 Wed 28-Nov-12 12:59:36

My house is clean as I have a cleaner and DH gets a lovely cooked meal every night simply by selecting a takeaway menu from the kitchen drawer

Am an excellent wife grin

I have two dogs and a cat, and my house is pretty much carpeted with dog hair. It will get better this week, though, as MIL is coming to visit. Not that I have to clean up for her - she says she would rather help me clean than have me fret about it before she comes - but when I am expecting visitors is the only time the hoover makes an appearance.

So that's me off Jenna's christmas card list.

Randall
Your story reminds me of DS1 howling when DH put his bike helmet on before he went in the toddler seat on the bike. DH was telling him not be so silly until we noticed DH had pinched the skin under DS's jaw in the clip of the helmet. The mark took a couple of days to fade. blush

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