To question whether you can really love someone after a couple of dates?!

(61 Posts)
Fondantfancy99 Mon 26-Nov-12 13:15:04

Friend has just met a new guy online dating. Very happy for her but also slightly concerned - they have already exchanged I love yous (after about 5 dates) and she has introduced him to her entire family including aunties and uncles! I've witnessed some fast-moving relationships in the past (including me and DP who moved in together after a few months) but this is a new extreme!

I personally think it takes a while longer to really love someone. AIBU?

Oblomov Tue 27-Nov-12 06:30:06

LessThan9 = Craig David's lyricist:

First date on Friday
took her for a drink engaged on Tuesday
we were making love married by Wednesday
in love and still shagging on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
we chilled on Sunday
grin

IfNotNowThenWhen Mon 26-Nov-12 21:10:51

JuliaScurr-No, they are still young and fit and a bit immature grin
<ponders>
I think that may be where I am going wrong!

lessthan9lives Mon 26-Nov-12 20:48:20

First date on Friday.
I love you on Tuesday (only because I was working the whole weekend or it would have been Saturday).
Engaged after ten days.
Married after 11 months.
Still married and going strong after five years.

I didn't know you could love another person so much until I met DH.

TwoFacedCows Mon 26-Nov-12 19:40:46

i fell in love with my DH on first sight, we had been talking online previously. We didnt exchange i love yous until much later. I knew straight away that he was the one for me

skaen Mon 26-Nov-12 19:02:56

DH and I were friends at first sight! I fancied him too but mostly we really liked each other.

Although I knew I loved him very early, I didn't tell him for ages and he declared first. 15 years ago now!

catcalledginger Mon 26-Nov-12 19:01:42

Yes definitely.

I said 'I love you' on our fifth date. I had no idea where it came from. I just sort of blurted it out (after trying to stop myself). Was 35 at time. We got engaged/lived together after six months and married eighteen months after that. Six years on and we are still happily together.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 26-Nov-12 19:01:28

Yes, I can give lots of examples of fast moving relationships that have hone the distance (eg married within 6 months, celebrating ruby wedding anniversary next year). And (now) DH talked about our wedding the second day we met...

The early days "I have just met you and I know you're The One and it's all so brilliant" type love is v different, though, to the long term "we have been together ages and no one knows me like you and i still know you're The One" type love.

R2PeePoo Mon 26-Nov-12 18:57:42

Met on 20th April. Engaged on 13 June the same year. He said I love you after a few weeks.

We were students and we spent almost every day together.
I knew he was a good, kind, lovely man almost from the beginning.

That was 12 years and 2 DC ago. We are both fatter and tireder but hes still the one for me.

I think you can love someone that quickly.

When I was 15 I had a boyfriend - I was a very young 15 we only ever went to a film and a little kiss or two, nothing more. That boyfriend got beaten up one day and his best friend called me to let me know what had happened. As soon as I spoke to his friend on the phone I was smitten and we ended up meeting up a week or two later and now 14 years later here I am married to him grin.

from the first time we met up (bearing in mind we lived 200 miles away from each other at the time!). I never doubted that we would be togethee long term and neither did her (or so he says!).

I did feel guilty for about 20 seconds about the whole beaten up thing and how dh and I got together - but hey - I was 15 and its the way of love!

DisappointedHorse Mon 26-Nov-12 18:48:25

We said I love You on our second date.

Really though, I loved him before I met him, We used to talk and email every day through work even though we were in different location (Gavin and Stacey!)

It's worked out so far 14 years on, it can happen.

Crinkle77 Mon 26-Nov-12 18:45:56

I think you know you have met 'the one' pretty much straighaway. I know it is a cliche but sometimes you just have that spark and you know if it is something special

MummyToBe2013 Mon 26-Nov-12 18:35:49

Started chatting online to DP on a Tuesday, we met on the Friday, saw each other on the Sunday, exchanged "I love yous" the following Tuesday - one week after first meeting online. Been together 14 months.

zlist Mon 26-Nov-12 18:18:53

I met DH on the Internet - due to the distance we talked on the phone for several weeks before meeting (at his house and I stayed the weekend). He told me he loved me after that 'date'. I was a bit hmm about that and the talk of marriage soon after that but his friends and family make it clear that was far removed from his MO. I was a bit slower but it was still pretty quick for me! Anyway, we have now been married for 9 years - most of the time happily.

Oblomov Mon 26-Nov-12 18:10:15

WhatWouldSantaDo:
"I knew from the moment I saw DH, he says the same.
That Savage Garden song 'I Knew I Loved You' pretty much sums up how I feel about him.
I told my friends after I met him that he was The One."

Ditto.

Oblomov Mon 26-Nov-12 18:08:11

I knew alot about dh before I went on a date. I moved into his house as a lodger and so knew alot about him, how he lived, what kind of person he was, his thoughts on ... politcis, infidelity etc, what he cooked, etc. I knew very early that he was a very good man.
If you've been on 2 x 2 hr dates, you may not know that much about someone.
But don't dismiss my feelings as infatuation, becasue it wasn't. We never told eachother that we loved eachother for a bit, but I knew, right from the moment I met him, that he was something special.

Bonsoir Mon 26-Nov-12 18:04:04

Yes of course you can be madly in love after a few seconds!

I met DP on Facebook. We have a lot of mutual friends, one being my cousin. Its odd that we hadnt met before as we went to similar places, but it seems fate had a plan!

Anyway, we had a very long phone converstation before meeting a few days later. I stood him up the next week blush but then regretted it and apologised profusely.

I think it was about 6 weeks before he was living with me. It wasnt official, he just stayed over and never really left. We got engaged 3 months later. He was the first to say he loved me, he says he knew from the first night I was the one.

I do think its a bit silly to plaster it all over facebook and twitter though. We were quite private really.

I knew from the moment I saw DH, he says the same.
That Savage Garden song 'I Knew I Loved You' pretty much sums up how I feel about him.
I told my friends after I met him that he was The One.

JuliaScurr Mon 26-Nov-12 17:44:54

ifnot they were young, fit, and a bit immature
now they are like you - wise, ripened and luscious

x2boys Mon 26-Nov-12 17:41:45

wel; we said we loved each other after two weeks enaged at six weeks married at six months 8years and 2 children later i still cant imagine life without him love him to bits although all that butterflies in stomach everything is just wonderful feeling goes after a few months

MerryCunnyFuntingChristmas Mon 26-Nov-12 17:41:11

My friend got a new boyfriend, 4 weeks after they first got together they got matching tattoos, he got her name tattooed on him but she didn't get his. After 5 weeks they were engaged, after 6 weeks they split up. After roughly a week they got back together, then split up a week later, they got back together and I think they're still together. I can't keep up confused

My conclusion? I have no frigging idea.

We knew from the first date, DH proposed after 5 weeks and we married 18 months later. Still together many many years later (old timers!)

So I say yes!

ifnot ....my profile on t'interweb described me as

Short fat hairy frodo type with hair feet
Looking for the lord of her ring

apparently it made him laugh...

i am no beauty (was in my hay day -1980s)...

i bet you look better than my profile!

IfNotNowThenWhen Mon 26-Nov-12 17:30:16

Aw thanks Moomie grin. I am OK, just facing the fact that I am not the catch I used to be!

I told DH I loved him on our second date blush

Seems to have worked out ok wink

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