to think my sister is a liar and I should call her out on it?

(97 Posts)
starlightlover Thu 22-Nov-12 16:06:35

I bought my sister for her birthday a groupon family portrait to be done (she's a new mum so thought it would be nice to have professional photos done etc).

I recently asked her if she'd ever had the photographs done, she replied that when I'd given her the groupon gift the date had already expired but she didn't want to say.

I felt quite upset with myself that I'd given her such a useless present. Reading a recent thread on here reminded me so I decided to look back at my groupon orders, and her birthday is right at the end of March and the expiration date on the groupon was the end of April.

I feel sad that she felt the need to lie to me, but in turn she also made me feel bad for giving her present that was useless when in fact it wasn't.

Should I say something?

missymoomoomee Thu 22-Nov-12 19:17:36

Why on earth did you ask if YABU if you aren't willing to accept people telling you that you are confused

Now it seems you are drip feeding information and will do so until everyone agrees with you.

StickEmUp Thu 22-Nov-12 19:18:51

I hate to be late to this but you had a bit of a pop at me after i pointed out you'd posted a thread that had been done to death before. MN you will get people disagreeing with you and not thinking your way. Like me. Perhaps like your sister.
You really need to chill. And 'call out' is a phrase i use when trying to sound a bit 'ard.
Chill out and realise not everyone will have the same opinion.

As for your sister, maybe just leave it.
Have to never made a mistake and Been let off? Or do you need retribution for everything, and equally accept people telling you or wrong ( on the evidence you give, you might always be right )

Suzieismyname Thu 22-Nov-12 19:21:37

sorry, thought I was quite clear. Perhaps your sister didn't realise there was such a short timeframe in which to book. Perhaps she just saw a 'voucher has expired' message and was just relating that back to you.
Give her the benefit of the doubt, she your sister!

Tweasels Thu 22-Nov-12 19:23:29

Might she just have made a mistake? Misread the terms and thought it was out of date.

Might she not realise the lie was hurtful and was saying it to protect your feelings as she did not want to get family photo shot done and didn't want to offend you by saying she thinks they're tacky.

If she is normally nice and this is out of character then leave it, if she's normally a bastard then tell her so.

carovioletfizz Thu 22-Nov-12 19:23:37

YANBU. It was a lovely thought and it was unfair of your sister to imply the mistake lay with you - if she'd owned up to being too busy with new baby to use it, I'm sure you'd have understood. I think you're getting far too hard a time!

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Greensleeves Thu 22-Nov-12 19:24:30

StickEmUp bringing up disagreements on other thread = bad form.

OP has had a completely unwarranted roasting here. I blame the weather - the Reception children I taught today were away with the fairies as well

OP - get yourself over to the "rudest responses to presents" thread instead, you may get more satisfaction there!

Greensleeves Thu 22-Nov-12 19:26:18

lurkedtoolong - I disagree, you haven't lurked for nearly long enough hmm

starlightlover Thu 22-Nov-12 19:26:34

StickEmUp I actually have no problem with people telling me I am BU. However people are saying I am being unreasonable for the wrong reason. Such as her not liking the gift. Which is missing the entire point.

I am asking if iabu for being hurt by her laying the blame on me.

StickEmUp Thu 22-Nov-12 19:26:59

I think its very relevent if people seem disagreeable in general. But thanks for the internet lesson hmm

StickEmUp Thu 22-Nov-12 19:29:43

Yes but they are linking maybe she didn't like it with her telling a hite lie that it ran out of date.
Its a nice present i think, truly. Maybe she didn't and didn't have the heart to say.
Thats what people are saying.
I don't know what could be the cause of the lie.
If she is normally nice, and people let you off mistakes or lies, maybe just leave it.

starlightlover Thu 22-Nov-12 19:31:51

I'm not I can accept when I'm wrong.

However I will only accept it if it is to the issue I asked. Hence the title. It was never AIBU to expect my sister to like and use her gift? Rather it was to think my sister is a liar and should I call her out on it?

By people calling me tacky and thoughtless then yes that is going to annoy me. I thought hard about a gift and I thought she would like it. But AGAIN thats not the issue here.

Wheresmypopcorn Thu 22-Nov-12 19:35:58

Think it may be a case of "pick your battles". Is the argument worth it? I think in this case, no. Maybe she is mistaken because of acute lack of sleep. I can sympathize, I seriously did not know the day for about 4 months after my baby was born.

StickEmUp Thu 22-Nov-12 19:36:42

Okay cool. I get you.

So .... I see replies saying leave it. If you really want to confront her, do it. This post isnt now the law, its just peoples opinions.

If you REALLY Think she kight use it later, id be the kind of cheeky bugger who would ring up and ask if it can be extended smile.
Try that and if they will, tell her!

If not, also tell her, then you can ALSO say it didnt expire in total in April just that she had to make an appt to use it.

Then youll aee in her eyes .... What she thinks.

Tonytiger Thu 22-Nov-12 20:35:45

OP...... We all make mistakes. Your sister probably just told a silly little lie to get herself out of a tricky situation and although you feel she has made you stand in a bad light she was I suspect just feeling a bit rubbish because her sister had been kind enough to give her a gift and she has messed up!!!! Is she perhaps feeling a little in your shadow. ( for those who have posted mean comments , I was always taught to be gracious when someone has been kind enough to buy me a gift)
She is your sister ..... Love her , forgive her and really don't give it another thought.

maddening Thu 22-Nov-12 20:49:03

I think it sounds like crossed wires so would drop it if it were me.

From how you describe the conversation she could equally have meant that she forgot to book within the month and felt bad she had missed it - as much as your interpretation.

I would assume she forgot and leave it as that rather that causing bad feeling.

Fwiw I don't think it's a tacky gift - you get more for your money - there are some fab deals on those sites that make lovely gifts.

ICBINEG Thu 22-Nov-12 20:59:40

Wow. don't feel the need to read the OP's actual posts at all people...

Jeez.

I agree with the people that think your sister misunderstood or is confused rather than deliberately lying.

If you are upset about it and feel you want to challenge her then I would try something along the lines of: "I was so upset to think I had screwed up the voucher that I checked back. It actually expired at the end of April but I can totally see how you might not have had chance to book the photos by then. They should really make the use by dates more obvious - although the greedy bastards must certainly prefer to catch you out as it saves them money.

maddening Thu 22-Nov-12 22:02:18

Op - exactly what were your sister's words when you asked her?

Was it "you gave me an out of date voucher but I didn't want to say"

Or was it "when I went to book it it was out if date and I didn't want to say"

How did she phrase it as that is key really.

starlightlover Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:07

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Kewcumber Thu 22-Nov-12 22:42:06

why do you keep adding passive aggressive smiley's when you're cross? confused

And why is your first assumption that she's lying, if my sister has said this to me I would have assumed she'd made a mistake (or that I had)?

ScarlettOoHara Thu 22-Nov-12 23:10:32

I completely understand what you are saying and agree with you. It would have made me feel awful. If your sister is anything like mine she's a nightmare to buy for. I once gave her some luxury sunspray (i found it worked really well and wanted her to try it) and she took one look at it and said, can you take it back I don't want it!!

katiecubs Fri 23-Nov-12 09:06:46

Why don't you respond to the genuine questions on the thread?

Not everyone is just slagging off the gift. People are saying it may have been a mistake on her part or that it was a white lie etc. You don't seem willing to consider these options.

You just want to believe it was some sort of viscious lie. If this is the case and you only want to think the worst of your sister then i still don't really understand why you are posting in AIBU?

Just carry on hating your sister and believing that everything she does and says is a personal attack.

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