Was ibu to have told my son the truth when he asked about Santa

(54 Posts)
Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:30:09

Ds 7 told me tonight he doesn't believe in Santa and he knows it's not true. At first I said he was talking nonsense but he was so adamant In the end I told him he was right and that it was me who bought his gifts
I feel terrible now and think I should have tried harder to persuade him I can't even sleep!

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:32:28

Only you know when the time is right.

I told my kids that santa stops bringing gifts when they start senior school or before that if they stop believing in him.

They had the good sense to pretend they still believed until just after their last Christmas in Junior school grin

mumnosbest Thu 22-Nov-12 00:33:21

You poor thing. My ds is 7 too but i think my lies have worked for another year. If you tried and he didn't believe then sadly maybe he's ready for the truth dreading next year

whatacolddaytoday Thu 22-Nov-12 00:33:53

HE DOESN'T EXIST?!!!

THIS IS NEWS TO ME.

YABU angry

thebody Thu 22-Nov-12 00:34:17

Tooth fairy?? Easter bunny???? The list is endless..

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:34:53

I love the whole thing about santa and still tell my son that it's true, we both still sort of believe in a weird way and he's 14. It's a beautiful myth. Whilst YANBU at all I can understand that your sad you did the "fact" thing. My dream would still be to go to lapland and see the elves at work.

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:35:27

I feel so angry with myself I just couldn't keep up the lie when he blatantly knew the truth. He is a very smart kid and switched on, plus his dads db is 13 and they spend a lot of time together- I think it probably came from him

I could cry

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:35:39

My Dad insisted that Santa was real and that we wouldn't get any presents if we didn't believe right up until he passed away a few months ago. I'm 40 and my sister is 50.grin

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:36:10

You don't have to dread it you know.

I always ended the conversation with, "But I'm still going to make you up a Santa sack every year cos it's tradition"...and they were happy with that.

My eldest is 21 in January and lives with his girlfriend...they'll be getting a Santa sack from me too grin

Lia87 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:36:12

Don't feel bad it sounds like he already knew for definite anyway, better than him getting frustrated at you insisting he's wrong when he knows truth , could be an older sibling let slip?

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:37:42

Alls not lost here though OP, why can't you just tell him that actually we still don't know, fact says its not true but myths are also very credible in their own right?

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:38:42

FlaminNora grin

That's the thing...you don't have to let go of the tradition just because they know the truth.

In a way, they kind of felt 'relieved' to know it wasn't true and that they weren't going out of their minds.

But they felt even more relieved to know they weren't going to miss out on their Santa prezzie and all the other novelty shite I'd fill the sack with grin

LucieMay Thu 22-Nov-12 00:38:55

No yanbu. Ds six and debunked the Santa myths over the summer and I admitted it. I was secretly proud of him for working it out. I stopped believing even earlier.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:40:22

We used to creep downstairs on Christmas morning because Dad always said if you disturbed Santa while he was working he'd go and leave nothing (cunning plan to get us to stay in bed). He'd then make each of us peek through a crack in the door to confirm that Santa wasn't in the living room and once everyone was in agreement, we were allowed in. We were still doing this last Christmas grin

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:40:28

I am thinking maybe tomorrow I tell him that I was playing along with him and that of course Santa is real

Oh god, I feel like such a shit mum

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:41:57

Whilst my child knew the truth and I admitted it we still kept up the pretence toether if you like and the magic remained and still does.

aufaniae Thu 22-Nov-12 00:43:12

7 is plenty old to know that Santa isn't real. I certainly did, I still enjoyed Christmas and played along. It didn't make it any less exciting or magical. I love Christmas smile

If he's worked it out himself, you absolutely did the right thing to confirm it.

DS (nearly 4) spends half the day pretending he's spiderman / batman / a jedi knight / tree fu tom and that daddy's car is a spaceship. It's great fun. But I'm not going to insist he still believes that when he's 7! Nor Santa, which is just another lovely make believe game, nothing more or less IMO.

If he does still enjoy living in a fantasy world, fine, but if not I'm certainly not going to force him to if he's growing out of it!

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:43:13

Of course you're not a shit mum, all you do now is pretend together and keep up that sparkle and myth.

LucieMay Thu 22-Nov-12 00:43:36

You think you're a shit mum because of this? For real? It's really not a big deal. At all.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:44:03

FlaminNora I actually think I'm the female version of your Dad grin grin

OP, you're not a shit mum shock

Your child is obviously intelligent and you've taken the step of telling him that he's right...there's nothing wrong with that.

The most important thing imo is that you drum it into him not to spoil it for his friends at school or any younger children he knows.

Why don't you tell him you're going to make up a Santa Sack for him from now on?

Start a new family tradition?

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:45:10

I think I am sad he is growing up so fast too. I worked out Santa wasn't real when I woke up to my dad filling my stocking age. 6 but never told my parents. He only turned 7 yesterday!

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 22-Nov-12 00:45:29

I've got the opposite problem. DC1 is 7 and still really firmly believes in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy and everything. I don't want to tell her, I want her to work it out for herself. Thing is she's such a know-it-all (and really enjoys knowing everything) that she's going to be furious when she finds out!

aufaniae Thu 22-Nov-12 00:45:33

"Oh god, I feel like such a shit mum"

Not at all! You're a a great mum, who treated her son with respect when he asked for the truth smile

Please don't backtrack, you'll look like a mad woman!

Just because he knows, doesn't mean he shouldn't get a stocking btw. It's still lovely to get a stocking even when you know your parents did it really.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:45:33

grin

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:46:50

Thanks for the positive replays! I have to him that under no circumstances must he tell anybody else and he agreed. I asked if he was upset and he said no that he was glad I didn't tell a fib!!

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