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AIBU?

To cancel my donation to the local C of E church

53 replies

skaen · 21/11/2012 17:18

I make a regular donation to the local C of E church and also go to Messy Church. The church is very nice, the community is friendly and the (female) vicar is great. They use the money on a mixture of contributions to running the diocese, support for food banks and people in need and support for maintaining the fabric if the church.

I am absolutely furious about the decision not to allow women to become Bishops. I think it is absolutely appalling and don't want to support that sort of misogynistic organisation.

Would I be unreasonable to cancel my donation to the church to show my disappointment? If I did, I would give that money to another charity- probably the food bank.

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ArtexMonkey · 21/11/2012 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cartoonjane · 21/11/2012 17:25

Yanbu. It's outrageous and big enough to merit cancelling your donation. If everyone did they would have to move into the 21st century.

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lookingfoxy · 21/11/2012 17:26

Yanbu, I think a lot of people will be withdrawing their support in view of this.
I would continue to give money to the food bank though.

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EdithWeston · 21/11/2012 17:27

YANBU, providing you also leave the Messy church and all other CofE activities. And it's worth telling the vicar and diocese why.

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yellowsubmarine53 · 21/11/2012 17:28

The C of E are LOADED. They're the biggest land owner in the UK, I think.

They're the last organisation I would be giving any cash to for this reason alone.

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grovel · 21/11/2012 17:29

Well..........

The bishops and the clergy voted overwhelmingly in favour - as did district synods. It's safe to say that the Church is in favour - it just has a rather curious voting system.

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SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 21/11/2012 17:30

It's up to you. I'm going to continue supporting my local CofE church because I know they support female bishops and I know that they're incredibly hurt and disappointed by the result. I don't think they should be punished for the actions of an unenlightened few.

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SoupDragon · 21/11/2012 17:32

That is not going to penalise the CofE church as a whole though, just the causes your church helps.

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VoiceofUnreason · 21/11/2012 17:34

Yes, the two main houses were overwhelmingly in support. It was actually the laity, which are more 'rank and file' congregation types who voted against, so hard to call the organisation as a whole misogynistic.

They interviewed a woman member of the laity from a local church on my local radio yesterday morning and she was against women bishops. Can women be misogynistic against their own sex???

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CombustionEngine · 21/11/2012 17:35

But the organisation voted in favour of female bishops, it was a minority of people who attend church that opposed it, in that there was a majority, just not a two thirds majority. So on that point yabu.

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Punkatheart · 21/11/2012 17:37

I would continue to give a donation, but make your feelings about the bigger picture, very clear.

One thing - what is Messy Church? I have a messy house - but I am sure that is not the same thing....

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egusta · 21/11/2012 17:38

Well, I am sympathetic to the OP, in some respects, but i agree with SmellsLike and SoupDragon.

The foodbank is a great thing to support however. I bet your local church supports it also. (Ours does, quite significantly).

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skaen · 21/11/2012 17:38

Smells- that's my worry. I know my vicar was wholly in favour of female bishops (she will make a good one!) and the local Bishop also supported thie legislation.

I don't want the local church to suffer but want to make my disappointment clear on the basis that if enough people do it, they might review the majority voting rules and whether the synod is even remotely representative.

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skaen · 21/11/2012 17:39

Women can definitely be misogynistic!

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MaryBS · 21/11/2012 17:40

Please don't. Its up to you of course, but many of us in the C of E (I'm a lay minister), particularly ministers, are devastated by the decision. There was sufficient support in both the house of bishops and the house of clergy to pass the motion, just not the laity. And even there, we only needed another 6 to vote in favour.

Many churches are struggling in this financial climate, our own church is about to have an emergency meeting to discuss the finances. Don't judge your local church by the cover that is the C of E please (asking nicely)?

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skaen · 21/11/2012 17:41

Messy church is a group for youngish children with songs, a few prayers, stories, cutting and sticking, painting and getting covered in glitter. It's in the church hall rather than the church (at ours anyway) but overseen by the vicar.

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egusta · 21/11/2012 17:42

You know though, Skaen i am not sure it WOULD affect the synod. I really do think only your church would suffer.

speaking as the treasurer of my church (so not quite unbiased).

I think it is a terrible disappointment too, and I also briefly thought about leaving the church entirely. So I am quite conflicted about it all.

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BackforGood · 21/11/2012 17:42

Well, are you going to stop going, and using their facilities ? If so, then YANBU, but you must tell the Church why so they know it's for that reason and not that you just decided to stop.

If you hope to still use the facilities, then YABU.

I too, understood that the ordained Church folk voted yes, and that it was the non-ordained who voted no ?

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egusta · 21/11/2012 17:42

bugger, i always screw the strike outs up!!!

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MaryBS · 21/11/2012 17:46

Most of the non-ordained (aka laity) voted no too, 64%, backforgood.

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KateMumsnet · 21/11/2012 17:47

Hi all

Just nipping in to let you know that some of our bloggers have posted on this over here, if you're interested.

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TiggyD · 21/11/2012 17:48

If enough people stopped giving the church money it would help some of those who voted against to think again.

Why not put the money you would have given the church into a piggy bank and write a letter to the church telling them they can have the money when they have women bishops?

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EssexGurl · 21/11/2012 17:57

You will find that the Church members themselves all wanted female bishops - it was the lay part of the Synod who voted against. So, YABU to take money away from the church as probably your own vicar / bishop etc wanted them as much as you!

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Bue · 21/11/2012 18:04

It's tempting, but not a good idea for all the reasons mentioned here. Sounds like you'd only be punishing a parish that supports women bishops and is probably deeply saddened by the decision. There are better ways of voicing your displeasure.

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skaen · 21/11/2012 18:33

Thank you all. At the moment, I'm leaning towards speaking to the vicar when I see her and asking whether she thinks it would have any benefit in terms of registering my disappointment. If she thinks it would be counter- productive then I'll carry on but will write and sign petitions.

I think I might also write to the bishop and tell him I'm minded to withdraw this support so he can add it to the pile!

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