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AIBU?

to be angry/upset with my 'friend' for not coming

57 replies

Ilovecrossfit · 20/11/2012 21:11

to my baby's first bday party. she basically said '...Friday not good Ive my yoga class' ???!!! We have children similiar age.
It's a local fitness class she means, not 1to1 session ( which id understand)..even if she 'said sorry id love to come but' that would sound better but Ive got a feeling she basically was saying " couldnt care less"

When my told my hubby he was like " why are you surprised'...so obviously he wasnt...hmmm

OP posts:
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091972 · 20/11/2012 21:17

Oh dear does sound a bit mean of her...how good a friend is she? Is this typical behaviour?

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Fakebook · 20/11/2012 21:19

Hmm. Doesn't sound like a good friend. Maybe she's paid for yoga classes in advance? Maybe she finds 1st birthday parties a load of crap? I don't know!

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Caerlaverock · 20/11/2012 21:21

I wouldn't have come either, FFs babies are dullerama unless your own. Get a grip

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/11/2012 21:22

How polite caerlaverock

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DixieD · 20/11/2012 21:23

Look OP only you know what sort of a friend this woman is. If she is normally supportive and there for you, then I wouldn't let this bother you at all. If this is typical of a not put herself out, suit herself attitude then its a bit different.
TBH I wouldn't think my friends kids birthday parties are that important. I certainly wouldn't expect my friends to miss something they enjoyed to attend one of my kids ones.
So I think YABU to expect your friend to change her plans for your baby's party. It's not that big a deal to her. However I am expecting a drip feed as I sense this is a tipping point for you.

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Caerlaverock · 20/11/2012 21:24

Come on, do adults really go to the birthday parties of babies not related to them?

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picturesinthefirelight · 20/11/2012 21:25

I'm with the majority here. It would have to be a major occasion such as a wedding, christening etc to miss a regular, probably pre paid commitment.

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skaen · 20/11/2012 21:27

Yabu really to be angry or upset. I accept it is mildly disappointing, but your child won't notice that its a birthday, let alone criticise your friend for non- attendance.

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/11/2012 21:29

Yanbu, she is your friend, its a big deal to you and she was insensitive.

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FourEyesGood · 20/11/2012 21:29

I always find it a bit weird when people give first birthday parties. It's not as if the baby can enjoy it. Yeah, celebrate it and have a cake and all that, but a party? With other people? Confused

YABU; at least she bothered to give you an excuse. I'd probably just say "no ta!"

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frootshoots · 20/11/2012 21:30

Unless related/godparent I wouldn't make a huge effort to go to a 1st birthday party, they're bloody shite and more for the parents of the baby because let's face it the baby doesn't have a bloody clue what's going on and who is there does it?

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ihearsounds · 20/11/2012 21:32

The only time I miss a prepaid commitment is if I am too ill to go.. Everything else tuff.

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/11/2012 21:37

Wow I'm glad my friends are a bit more caring and sensitive than you lot

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Salamanger · 20/11/2012 21:39

Sorry, I'd be making excuses too. What frootshoots said.

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spottyock · 20/11/2012 21:41

YANBU.
Something similar happened to us a few years back and I was upset.

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toofattorun · 20/11/2012 21:43

If she is (was) a very good friend of yours, then I would be really pissed off.
If she is just another (random) friend, then don't take it to heart and don't invite them to anything ever again.

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Viviennemary · 20/11/2012 21:44

YANBU. Some friend! You wouldn't have asked her if it didn't mean much to you. She is being insensitive. I must say I probably wouldn't much like a first birthday party myself but I'd be far too polite to say so!

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socharlotte · 20/11/2012 22:50

babies are dullerama unless your own

^
this

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GrendelsMum · 20/11/2012 22:53

I think that 1st birthday parties are really a family occasion, aren't they? So I wouldn't expect to attend one myself.

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charlmarascoxo · 20/11/2012 22:54

Geez some of the responses on here.

Its the first birthday a child will ever have. Therefore it means a lot to the parents and a good friend would make the effort to come and celebrate too (no matter how dull they find it)

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SoleSource · 20/11/2012 22:56

Might not be yoga could be something else she doesn't want to disclose. Thetapy, hospital appt who knows?

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FoxSake · 20/11/2012 23:03

The sooner you realise that the only person who cares about your own dcs b days the easier your life will beGrin

It will save you a million AIBU threads such as why has nobody RSVP'd. My yoga class was 15 quid a pop, I probably wouldn't miss what is potentially my only time to myself for a baby who doesn't know it's it's b days party.

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wannaBe · 20/11/2012 23:08

I'm guessing the people who think the op is NBU have similar aged children to the op's. Wink

1st birthday parties are non events really. No really, they are.

One day you will look back and post about this on one of those "tell us about your worst pfb moments" threads. Wink Grin

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blanksquit · 20/11/2012 23:14

Hmm and first birthday parties often involve relatives. It's not really much fun for adult friends. Standing around with Aunty Vera, eating a canope.

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Dozer · 20/11/2012 23:22

Have been to a lot of toddler birthday parties in last few years. Hideous. But on balance would prefer to attend one than attend a yoga class.

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