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'DH' sets his alarm for 06.10 but doesn't bloody get up until 6.45!

(68 Posts)
sandyballs Tue 20-Nov-12 09:02:43

He snoozes it and drifts off into another lovely sleep, I'm lying there FUMING.
He don't get what the problem is. I don't want to wake up that early every bloody morning. angry

Spuddybean Tue 20-Nov-12 16:36:05

for me i set the alarm when i have to get up and i know when it goes off i have to get up. I never snooze as it would be horrible to lay there and just drift off when the alarm went off again, and then to continue repeating it would be cruel torture.

I shared a house with my ex best friend who worked shifts and did this. She set the alarm an hour and a half before she actually had to be up and snoozed every 10 mins till then. It was awful. When i would seriously discuss this with her she would laugh at me angry and say it made her feel like she was having more sleep by being woken up just to know she could go back to sleep again. She was always shattered, but would dismiss me when i suggested an extra hour and a half of PROPER sleep might be the answer. she now lives with my exH so i hope she is torturing him in the same way!

Chandon Tue 20-Nov-12 16:22:10

oh, I love DH, but I also love sleeping alone...

AncientsOfMuMu Tue 20-Nov-12 16:19:58

My sister's dp used to do this. She cut the plug off. grin

WineGoggles Tue 20-Nov-12 16:16:08

"people laugh at me when I say this but separate rooms are the way to go"

Not me, I think separate rooms (or preferably separate houses!) is much better than cohabiting, especially the sharing a bedroom malarkey (with all the associated annoyances such as alarm clocks, snoring and bed hogging).

Jojoba1986 Tue 20-Nov-12 12:13:42

I'm suffering from pregnancy-insomnia at the moment so I'm sleeping in a different room anyway, on a different floor of the house & still his ridiculously loud alarms wake me before him! sad

Crinkle77 Tue 20-Nov-12 11:54:13

people laugh at me when I say this but separate rooms are the way to go - or ear plugs. I am a very light sleeper and find it difficult sleeping with someone else. Ear plugs have deffo been my saviour

quoteunquote Tue 20-Nov-12 11:40:21

buy a audio pillow,plug phone in and use the alarm on phone, then only the person using the pillow hears the alarm

AnnaBegins Tue 20-Nov-12 11:30:17

Both DH and I snooze our alarms, BUT, DH gets up an hour before me, and whereas my alarm just buzzes, he has to have his set as the most rousing loud music he can find. But this isn't to wake him up, oh no, it's so I wake up with a jump and kick him until he gets up. Aargh!!!

SooticaTheWitchesCat Tue 20-Nov-12 11:17:39

I set my alarm for 7 but often don't get up until 7.30. Oddly enough my Dh gets annoyed about that, I have no idea why wink

My house mate does this. Sets it for before seven but won't get out out bed until twenty to eight. Used to be ten to but we got pressed off about him hogging the bathroom before all of us had to leave. He also used to have two alarms, the other was fucking bird noises that wouldn't wake him up --but would wake everybody else ffs- at 6:15. Gah. I thought I was bad with my twenty minute 'lay in' alarm system!

sandy if he's not getting why you are bothered, would a week of you setting your alarm for 5.25am & hitting the snooze button for 45 minutes help him understand?

maybenow Tue 20-Nov-12 11:04:27

I need 20mins to wake up in the morning - I have a light alarm now which comes on for 30mins then beeps and I can get up. But other times i've used snooze or a radio alarm where I can't reach so the radio stays on once it's on.

It's not a habit. It's the time it takes me to reach consciousness. When I was a student in halls and we had middle of the night fire alarms it was hell trying to get out for evacuation - i genuinely couldn't walk and once i fell down a massive flight of stairs hurting myself badly. If i try to get straight out of bed the minute my alarm goes off i have fainted more than once and also tend to walk into doorframes.

Some people just sleep very very deeply. And i'd guess it's mainly men on here because people on here are mainly parents and mothers have hormonal changes after birth that makes them more alert to their infant but if you asked on a forum for people pre-children it would be more even between the sexes.

BellaTheGymnast Tue 20-Nov-12 10:58:17

Kill him while he sleeps.

Woodlands Tue 20-Nov-12 10:56:51

My DH and I both do this blush. Some mornings we can have our two alarm clocks and two phones each taking turns to go off for ages...

Yeah I have to agree with you lottie.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 20-Nov-12 10:40:00

The OP said her DP did not understand the problem. I do find that lack of empathy incredible (not saying he is a psychopath grin just using it as a measure of lack of empathy). All it takes is to listen and imagine being in the other person's situation, or just believing them.

All those who have difficulty waking up and resort to snoozes, that's fine but it is completely separate from saying that it is acceptable to impose the consequent disruption on someone else.

Surely you would only choose to behave this way towards someone whose well-being and happiness you care nothing for?

"wonder why he wouldn't rather have an extra proper hour of sleep than a broken hour of shitty dozing"
^^ THIS!
And I speak as someone who used to be a snooze addict - it is essentially a pointless and very annoying habit.

Bramshott Tue 20-Nov-12 10:18:29

I feel very nauseous if I get up straight away when the alarm goes off, so I can sympathise to a certain extent with your DH. However, 10 mins of lying listening to the radio is enough to make me feel human. Could your DH have a 6.30 alarm instead?

bedmonster Tue 20-Nov-12 10:18:01

My DP does this and while it used to drive me mad being woken up at 6 (when he doesn't get up til 7) I now get up at 6 and go for a run. I was finding it difficult to fit it into the day anyway so it's the perfect use of time.
I get home just as he's getting out of the shower so I can jump straight in.

I still think it's stupid though, and wonder why he wouldn't rather have an extra proper hour of sleep than a broken hour of shitty dozing confused

PurpleGentian Tue 20-Nov-12 10:13:59

You have my sympathies OP.

DH's alarm also goes off much earlier than I would find necessary. He is a very very heavy sleeper and it takes an awful lot to wake him up if he's not fully rested.

It's very very annoying, as it wakes me up.

But for DH, this isn't just a bad habit. He genuinely does not wake up. It's not a case of him hitting the snooze button when the alarm goes off - he's still lying there snoring away, completely oblivious. We've tried a light clock, and those are equally ineffective as far as DH is concerned they wake me up though

HipHop, shocked is the word.

I mean don't get me wrong, I know we all have our sleep preferences and they can be really hard habits to break, and sleep is really important. But isn't part of living together about adjusting our habits so as not to torture our partners? I can't imagine getting to a point where I would know my habits were leaving my partner fuming and without sleep and just not caring or doing anything about it. I'm not sure psychopath is the word for it lottie grin but I don't know, to me it just seems really really selfish.

MissVerinder Tue 20-Nov-12 10:12:01

My DP ruined my maternity leave with this, it's so frustrating.

Set his alarm for 7, snoozed it until 8 (had to be at work for 8.30)

I always have problems getting him up for work, so I just let it go; I told him I wasn't his mother and if he was consistently late and got the sack I was out.

I slept on the sofa for a few nights so he didn't disturb me with the snoozing and it seemed to cure the problem grin

(He doesn't have problems getting up at 5am to go out on his motorbike, BTW).

YANBU, it's awful sad

NaiceSpam Tue 20-Nov-12 10:11:37

Oh. X-post HipHop.

NaiceSpam Tue 20-Nov-12 10:10:47

YANBU it's soooo annoying!

BUT - please get him a Wake Up Light. It starts switching on about half an hour before the time you've set it for, and starts really quietly. Mine DP's is set to have the radio wake us up, so it's very gentle and really works. I have never ever slept through it - I open my eyes bang on the exact minute I've set it for, you'd think with just a dim light and gentle chattering would take ages to wake you up, but it doesn't. I just flick it off and get out of bed and DP sleeps on for however long he wants.

On the other hand, that's because I am considerate enough to flick it off straight away. But when you flick it off the sound goes off but the light stays on so it is easier to not go back to sleep, and a dim light staying on for a few minutes while I wake myself up doesn't wake up DP.

I bought DP's for xmas last year and now can't imagine trying to wrench myself out of bed by a loud blaring in the dark!

cees Tue 20-Nov-12 10:08:32

Oh dh used to do this, he doesn't anymore (evil grin)

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