To be saddened by teenagers of today

(344 Posts)
dinkybinky Sun 18-Nov-12 16:09:25

Ive just been having a conversation with my niece. Apparently its the norm nowadays to "get with" (kiss)as many boys as possible at teenage parties. Parents even supply alcohol to 14/15 year olds.
Girls like this were called awful names if they behaved in such a way when I was at school, whats changed to make it acceptable?

dinkybinky Sun 18-Nov-12 16:37:23

I guess I was brought up to have respect for myself. I can see how the children think its okay to kiss so many on one night judging by the comments.

The girls and boys are doing more than kissing but not the whole thing IYSWIM. They're 14/15. My niece was shocked at seeing people get it on in full view of everyone, hence her telling me.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:37:25

Not only am I stunning, but I am also a virgin.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 18-Nov-12 16:37:27

Sometimes I feel I must have missed out on a great chunk of youth grin

But my parents were much older, I was a late baby - therefore their morals were set in the 1920's by their ownVvictorian parents. Hence I have a strong moral code and self respect.

cory Sun 18-Nov-12 16:37:29

"its probably why the UK has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the world."

You are under the impression that Scandinavian teenagers don't snog? <loud raucous laugh>

WandaDoff Sun 18-Nov-12 16:38:10

We did this when I was a teen in the 90's.

Oh & aye right to your daughter having her 1st kiss at 19. Think she may be pulling your leg there.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:38:10

dinkybinky tell me exactly how you have more respect for yourself than I do.

What does kissing have to do with self-respect?

Please explain.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:39:23

Or Ophelia, you could explain too.

Oh wouldn't the world be so great if we all had Victorian morals? Men allowed to do what they liked, women cast out of society if they so much as showed an ankle, children shoved up chimneys, the disabled shunned.

Sounds fucking fabulous.

Oh. Heavy petting dinky?

I bet my ds wouldn't even know what that means and I do believe it applied to teens from the 70s onwards. It's not a new thing.

loopylou6 Sun 18-Nov-12 16:42:49

Bahahahaha, your dd waited till she was 19 for her first kiss? Of course she did. hahahahaha

dinkybinky Sun 18-Nov-12 16:42:56

So all of you would be okay seeing your child kiss several different people on one night?

missymoomoomee Sun 18-Nov-12 16:44:12

I can see why your dd chose not to tell you she kissed someone until she was 19. She probably felt that you are so judgemental she had to lie about it.

ScatterChasse Sun 18-Nov-12 16:44:34

I was older than 19 when I first kissed somebody, so it does happen sometimes... I was horrifically shy around boys (well men by the time I started!) though.

My friends used to do this and I always felt a bit sorry for whoever wasn't 'instigating' it...you see someone you've snogged snogging somebody else five minutes later.

I remember us all being obsessed with fingering! Does any grown woman ever ask a man to finger her? I wonder if today's teens still use that term.

Everlong Sun 18-Nov-12 16:44:50

I've just washed school blazer. It felt heavy. In there was a bottle of aftershave and a tube of toothpaste.

I said ' oh ds what are they doing in there? ' he replied ' you know mother when you might need them ' shock

He's 13 fgs.

takes after me grin

dinkybinky Sun 18-Nov-12 16:44:53

Bahahahaha, your dd waited till she was 19 for her first kiss? Of course she did. hahahahaha

She did. Its clear that we all have different standards. I am happy with mine and I am more than happy with my DDs.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:45:03

dinkybinky PUHLEASE explain to me why it is "respecting" yourself to not have physical contact with another person. I just don't get it.

HecatePropylaea Sun 18-Nov-12 16:45:06

so now it's not just kissing. Now, after telling us it's kissing it's now 'more than kissing'.

Wasn't 'more than kissing' in your op, was it?

"Apparently its the norm nowadays to "get with" (*kiss*)as many boys as possible at teenage parties"

Or in the next post
"14 year olds kissing 15 different boys in one night is okay, since when?"

Now it's more than kissing. It's copping a feel

If it was that, why did you say kissing in your OP?

That sort of thing makes people think that someone is changing the story in the face of YABUs and makes it hard for people to accept that it's true.

MadamFolly Sun 18-Nov-12 16:45:54

People have always done this and always will, the less permissive we are as a society the more potential for heartbreak and suffering.

and as for the first kiss thing, I had a friend at school who was advised by her mother to preserve her virginity by only doing bum sex. So she lost her bum virginity long before she had vaginal sex. People don't always do things in order.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 18-Nov-12 16:46:46

Or Ophelia, you could explain too.

I don't think my boys would behave like that - they are quite open about everything but quite 'straight laced' - mainly because I bang on about STDs etc I think I've half frightened them to death about females grin

In seriousness - I think (cant be sure) that I have put young men with moral values into the world - I don't think (can't be sure) any of them would have casual sex.

Oh wouldn't the world be so great if we all had Victorian morals? Men allowed to do what they liked, women cast out of society if they so much as showed an ankle, children shoved up chimneys, the disabled shunned.

A little bit hysterical, much?

Self respect goes a long way. We are all the products of our up bringing - mine included valuing myself, I hope I've passed those on.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:47:15

REALLY MadamFolly ? I'd say growing up 100 years ago when DV was fine and a woman couldn't divorce her husband so just put up with it, having to marry someone of your parents' choosing (still goes on today) and having to pretend you're all moralistic when you're actually going at it with someone behind your husband's back every night probably caused more suffering.

In all honesty dinkybinky it wouldn't bother me. If he's in a situation where he can possibly kiss several people in one night then there is nothing intimate or personal about it and it doesn't mean anything. They would presumably be so many other people there that there would be no opportunity to take it much further anyway. There wouldn't be time as much as anything else. grin

Tee2072 Sun 18-Nov-12 16:48:27

Did you never play spin the bottle or 2 minutes in heaven?

I'm 43. I did all that 14/15.

Didn't drink though as I was in the US and we just didn't. For no reason, just didn't.

FromEsme Sun 18-Nov-12 16:48:31

Ophelia you're not explaining. You're just repeating buzz words like self respect, value and morals.

I could say "I respect myself and my sexual needs by going out and shagging 20 men a week" but you'd just scoff at that. It makes as much sense though, because everything you're saying is just surface level.

Selfdoubt Sun 18-Nov-12 16:48:42

Tbh, I feel more saddened about the fact that parents are buying alcohol for these parties. Kissing doesn't do any harm, now if you said shagging as many as they could then I would see your point.

Alcohol causes more damage to a 14/15 year old than kissing does. It was sadly the same when I was that age.

One or two drinks, with family under supervision is one thing. Providing booze for a teenage party is another. And that saddens me.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now