A shopkeeper hit my baby

(193 Posts)
LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:06:33

Firstly, we're not in the UK, and here people to beat smack their kids. It is socially normal.

DD (17 months) had a bit of a breakdown in the chemists. She was tired and hungry. I was holding her and a few things at the checkout. She grabbed something and threw it on the floor and screamed. I was just about to pay, so couldn't really leave. She grabbed my neck and clawed me, then bit my shoulder. The shop assistant rang up the amout, then insisted on the correct change, which delayed things further, DD still screaming. She put the stuff in a bag, handed it to me, them smacked DD on the arm. Not hard, but deliberately. At this point she was screaming but not hurting or grabbing.

I didn't know what to do. I just glared at her and walked off. DD carried on screaming.

What should I have done? WIBU to walk off, or should I have said something?

snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:40:51

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LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:41:05

Do you mean the shopkeeper thing or kids being hit at home? The shop thing I expect (hope!) was a one-off. The kid thing, well if you were living the expat lifestyle that your bitter tax-related bullshit indicated, then you wouldn't have come across it I expect.
Not that I believe for a moment you have lived here if you think it's a tax-free haven.

fluffyraggies Sat 17-Nov-12 16:41:07

So the person who hit your child was just a young girl herself then? "perhaps too young to have kids". What, 13/14?

I think you're over reacting. Probably because you didn't handle it properly at the time OP. Sorry.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 16:42:09

I guess maybe the woman thought she was "helping"? If it wasn't a hard smack i certainly wouldn't be thinking of upping sticks and coming home grin Especially at its fecking freezing here at the moment and i can't afford to put the heating on!

SugarplumMary Sat 17-Nov-12 16:42:25

I don't think I'd give a fuck about cultural norms here - in a school yes in other peoples houses - then yes.

In a shop when you her mother were there dealing with it - I wouldn't worry so much. Even if it marks you out as a forginer least that staff member and others would know not to hit your DC again.

IslaValargeone Sat 17-Nov-12 16:43:21

Jesus H, I've heard it all now, opinion/support on here is tax bracket dependent?

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:43:40

No, I think she was probably about 18, at a guess. I'm not particularly upset, but shocked, mostly by my own reaction. Also bemused by snoopy's idiocy.

JaquelineHyde Sat 17-Nov-12 16:43:50

Snoopy this is clearly a touchy subject for you...Are you the shop assistant?

snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:43:58

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5madthings Sat 17-Nov-12 16:44:38

i would have had a fit and asked to speak to the manager, if it was in the uk i would have called the police, it is NOT ok to smack a child full stop, let alone someone elses child. yes she was screaming but not much the op could do about that, the child is 17mths and they tantrum at that age which is what it sounds like the child was doing, at that age they need comforting and distracting if possible with a firm no for the biting, scratching etc, but she isnt deliberately being naughty.

and as for you live there you suck up it up, ummm no no matter where i live iw ouldnt suck up violence of any kind, let alone towards a baby!

GhostShip Sat 17-Nov-12 16:44:41

Jacqueline - I think it's a dangerous attitude to have but its the only way I have survived so far. After being bullied and beaten everyday at school, it only stopped when I hit back, harder.
Being older I've been attacked by drunken women and there's not a chance in hell I wouldn't defend myself. Sorry if some of us just don't sit back and let people kick the shit out of us without retaliation. And I wouldn't let someone do it to my defenseless child either.

Sometimes people need to experience what theyre doing to other people to learn a lesson.

And no, no-one should use weapons ever.

Like I said I don't expect you to agree with me, but being brought up on one of the roughest council estates in Wigan, you need to be tough.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:44:57

I'm a teacher. Salary is less than UK. Tax is higher. I'm hardly rolling in expat riches.

Not that that is anything to do with anything.

JaquelineHyde Sat 17-Nov-12 16:45:12

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LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:45:35

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snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:46:21

really? my teachers get £3000 a month

Dominodonkey Sat 17-Nov-12 16:46:25

"it is NOT ok to smack a child full stop"
In your opinion, it is not illegal in England.

However, I can't imagine many parents (if any) would think it ok for a complete stranger to smack their child.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 16:46:45

Have you any friends from the area? Maybe have a word with them and see what they think about it?

Snoopy, are you on something?

do you spose shop keepers did this sort of thing in the 1950s britain, cos they may well have. it is a different world, different cultures. and she was 18 and i assume thought it was the thing to do with a toddler having a tantrum.
i doubt you have a wealth of shops where you live, <<assuming>> so i would just put it down to cultural differences. <<keep tantruming toddlers in pushchair/away from shop keepers in future >>

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:47:26

Ah! That makes sense! You are still at school. Enigma solved.

Yes, it's relatively "normal" for KL. People there are far less precious about others touching or reprimanding their children. When mine were small, it was a common occurrence for waitresses (especially Chinese) to wipe their faces with a damp cloth after a meal (mine were 5 and 6 so not babies) or to take them away from the table for a walk, if the adults were still eating.

People would also touch their hair (and mine) and would have no hesitation in taking their hand to cross the road. I'm sure pharmacy assistant thought she was being helpful. Your child was being naughty, you were harassed therefore tap on the arm. Really no big deal, and you'll need to get used to people commenting on your parenting if you continue to live there.

Finally, I would say that I'd move back out in a minute. Wonderful country and great people. I don't know if you teach at an international school, but if so, I urge you to step outside the expat bubble and make local friends too.

JackThePumpkinKing Sat 17-Nov-12 16:49:22

This thread is batshit... grin

ProphetOfDoom Sat 17-Nov-12 16:49:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:50:18

No I recruit them amongst other staff. I am actually their boss.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:50:34

LOADS of shops here! It's the capital!

Anyhow, this thread isn't helping anyone. I'm going to bed.

FYI, though snoopy, no non-resident is exempt from tax. Better get your info sorted before you try trolling after homework time next time.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:51:11

In a different planet country, I presume?

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