to be a bit surprised that 11 year olds had school lesson involving putting a condom on a banana?

(192 Posts)
Mintyy Mon 12-Nov-12 22:29:50

So this is a Year 7 class in a local academy.

Aibu to think that they are still a wee bit too young for this?

Think thus is an excellent idea. Better to have bolted the stable door before the horse has bolted IMO.

Mind you being allergic to latex both the banana and the condom would have huge implications for me. Luckily the word sex was never uttered at my convent school, we were taught about frogs reproduction cycle and I was quite disappointed that I would have to have a whole baby and not such lay some spawn in the pond in the back garden!

WakeyCakey Wed 14-Nov-12 10:18:18

My dsd's school sent us all letters but also invited us to a night where we could experience the lesson before the kids to decide if we thought it appropriate.
Highly embarrassing, utter good fun.

The main thing to remember is their safety. DSD has an older sister who was pregnant at 17. statistics show that dsd will probably also as her mum was also pregnant at 18.
I'd much rather she knew it all :-)

MrsBucketxx Wed 14-Nov-12 08:36:22

consent not voncent

MrsBucketxx Wed 14-Nov-12 08:35:55

i think its a good thing knowledge is power after all. yabu

the age of vonsent is there yo protect children from adults mostly its not enforced child to child on the whole.

OldMumsy Wed 14-Nov-12 08:29:18

whathasthecatdonenow that sounds like an epic lesson! I wish we had had that when I were a lad.

cory Wed 14-Nov-12 08:08:39

"But isn't anyone else bothered that the mechanics of condom use seems to be taught in a vaccuum?"

No, because it isn't.

Dc's sex education has certainly not been in a vacuum; it has been in the context of carefully thought out lessons and class discussions on such issues as relationships, personal safety, resisting peer pressure etc. Noone has ever hinted that they should be having sex before the age of consent or indeed that one ever should have sex just to live up to other people's expectations.

This is how it should be taught- if it isn't happening in your school, then you should complain, just as you should complain if they aren't covering the maths curriculum.

whathasthecatdonenow Tue 13-Nov-12 23:06:18

Well, I had fun today with my Year 9s putting condoms on the plastic penis whilst wearing the beer goggles - demonstrating how difficult it can be to be safe when you are drunk.

PostBellumBugsy Tue 13-Nov-12 16:05:27

Think it is fantastic that schools do this (banana/carrot/plastic willy - condom thing). Shame that so many parents shy away from talking to their children about sex.
I also think that all young teens should have to watch that show "16 & Pregnant". If ever there were lessons to be learnt about how tough it is to be a teen parent, they are all in that.
They should do more "self-respect" lessons too, so that teenagers can understand that saying no is a bloody sensible option too, that they should be proud of taking!!!!!

laughtergoodmedicine Tue 13-Nov-12 15:55:25

Things have clearly changed in schools since my day We kept rabbits

ghoulygumdrops Tue 13-Nov-12 14:50:20

We did this at school in pairs, one boy one girl, using condoms and test tubes when i was 11 - 22 years ago!

ISingSoprano Tue 13-Nov-12 14:48:21

I agree StepAway. At my dc's school there is a team of pastoral staff who teach PSHE (and thus sex ed) but most importantly nearly all have a background in youth work - they are not curriculum teachers.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 13-Nov-12 14:43:55

and while I am still on my soapbox, grin RSE should start way back in education, I don't mean mechanics and condoms and STI's but back in infants teaching respect, how to be friends, caring for others, listening to others, also personal hygiene like washing hands etc is all part and parcel of good RSE, the mechanics etc come later on and if taught well at age appropriate stages we end up with well rounded adults with a healthy attitude to RSE interspersed with personal / family/ religious beliefs.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 13-Nov-12 14:38:35

I will always remember a year 6 teacher saying that after a sex ed class, a timid girl asked her " Miss, do I HAVE to have sex?" then I am sorry but that was a badly taught lesson. I second whoever said it should be taught by properly trained teachers or better still someone from outside the school like a trained youth worker or school nurse. a survey of PSHE in our local schools showed the majority of kids would prefer to be taught by someone other than a regular teacher and also said that they should be specially trained. most also wanted relationship and sex ed to be done earlier that they had it! and called for it to be consistant in all our schools and regular so that those who were 'off that day' still got it. many thought schools shied away from teaching it and once done 'ticked a box' never to return. we should listen more to what pupils want.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 13-Nov-12 14:29:38

But why tell 11 year olds how to have safe sex if it is illegal for them to have sex for another five years. They should be told sex before the age of 16 is illegal. Not shown how to have safe sex by schools. The more I think about it the more wrong I think it is. Sorry if this goes agains the thinking of the majority. fgs sex and relationship ed in school, or Relationship and sex ed as its called here is NOT just about safe sex, its about attitudes, laws, respect, peer pressure, self esteem, acknowledgement that having sexual feelings is ok, there is no encouragement to act on them. The aim is to equip pupils with the skills and knowledge to make decisions for themselves within a set of parameters that include it being against the law, harm reduction and assertiveness skills to say NO until they are ready. NOT every teen is having sex, some are for all the wrong reasons, some are for the right reasons, many choose not to. telling them about it and encouraging sensible discussion about choices and being safe is not going to make someone do it. OH yes it's also about what they learn at home so get on and tell them what it is you want them to know too.

Felicitywascold Tue 13-Nov-12 13:37:20

It's not that the appropriate values aren't being taught, it is that they (in some cases) aren't being learnt.

Just covering the topic and learning the facts- be that mechanics, or emotional 'facts' does not an empathetic, responsible teen make.

And I'm certain that schools are only a part of that learning.

Philippa1110 Tue 13-Nov-12 13:33:47

I went to a convent school where sex education was not well-taught, largely because of the fact that catholicism and contraception are on a collision course of epic proportions. At least one girl in my class, and one in my younger sister's class, had babies in their teens and in both cases I think were under 16 when they got pregnant. Demonising, proselytising and banning Do Not Work. I would much rather find a used condom in either of my daughters' rooms (in due time; they are both under 3!) than either a positive pregnancy test or a course of herpes medication. I will tell them why waiting is good - I was 19 - but I would much rather they knew how to avoid bad outcomes than that they found themselves in a situation way out of their control.

Chelvis Tue 13-Nov-12 13:27:27

I don't have a problem with the way the mechanics of it all are being taught, but I do worry about the emotional side. I worked in a high school until recently and the amount of girls who felt that they couldn't say 'No' was appalling. It wasn't considered acceptable in your peer group to be a virgin past, maybe, 13. Girls who wanted to wait were mocked and called lesbians or freaks.
And it isn't just 'normal' sex they're having; so many girls were pressured into 'porn acts' - group blowjobs or anal at 13 or 14 - and many many girls were pressured into sexting or filmed sex acts, either by direct pressure from their boyfriends or by feeling it was something they had to offer. The mechanics of it are fine, but how on earth to we teach these children how to deal with it emotionally and how to say no? How do you turn back the pornification of sex? It is so hard, I'm glad I don't have that responsibility for teaching it.

valiumredhead Tue 13-Nov-12 13:07:25

AFAIK sex ed is taught in biology lessons at 11/12 not PHSE.

Because I am trying to have a rest I'll share my opinion and rationale for it.

I am religious and follow the rules of church which teach chastity (no sex before marriage and that also includes any heavy petting and necking). Both myself and my husband kept these rules and were each other firsts when we got married. I would want my daughters and sons to live like this too.

However, everyone has the right to chose for themselves (including my children) and while I will teach them the rules of our religion I also teach them the rules of the country and common sense ... for example just because I pray each day that we will be kept safe they still are required to look before they cross the road.

While it would be great that every person would wait until the age of consent and every parent to teach their child about contraception, not every parent does and not every child is able to listen I do believe that children should be taught these things at school at an age when they will listen and before they start doing these things. If school feels that 11/year 7 is a good age then I would trust their judgement as educators. I would imagine that they are aware of some of the stuff (or the consequences) that are going on.

It does feel young but then centuries ago people got married at 14yo! If my children were to be doing such stuff and didn't want to talk to me about it I would be very grateful for the adults that either they felt they could talk to about sex or who had talked about it.

My oldest is 9 and has not asked many questions about such things, I answer them as we go along and if this complete disinterest continues we plan on having a talk around yr6, hopefully before his peers don't educate him too much and that he is mature enough to cope with some of the information.

Siriusstar Tue 13-Nov-12 12:56:35

I think that pshe should be taught by qualified pshe teachers at secondary school with some form of assessment. I think it should be standardised across the country so that all the children are learning the same kind of things. Some teachers don't necessarily bother with pshe and only do the minimum. Plus some are just too embarrassed to do a proper job.

My dh is a secondary school science teacher and not easily embarrassed. He teaches both the biology of it and the pshe side of it. Like many things that get taught at school, the students won't necessarily listen or remember what they have been told or shown. He has come across 16 year old girls who don't even understand their menstrul cycle despite being taught it a couple of times. I think it has to be taught over and over and over again, each year.

I think if it was taught as a discrete subject, then maybe the emotional side of things would be covered properly and consistently.

I will always remember a year 6 teacher saying that after a sex ed class, a timid girl asked her " Miss, do I HAVE to have sex?"

I think we need to assume that they will and to prepare them but not assume they are and make it clear that they have a choice. That they always have a choice.

Got to go back to work now.

valiumredhead Tue 13-Nov-12 12:42:46

But if not properly used condoms are useless so it's either bits of the fruit bowl or an actual plastic model of a penis.

valiumredhead Tue 13-Nov-12 12:41:43

honey I just wondered as I bang on to 11 year old ds about the legal age as I can just imagine an irate dad turning up or ringing the police if ds was shagging a 15 year old and he was 16. I think that's why people are concerned about the legal age.

honeytea Tue 13-Nov-12 12:39:20

I have a baby boy, I also live in a country where the age of consent is lower than the uk, but then tean pregnancy is also lower.

Feminine Tue 13-Nov-12 12:36:16

I am against the demonstration aspect.

We can educate that age group without bits of the fruit bowl.

11 is too young.
Masses of changes happen between 12-14, I wouldn't have a problem with it then.

Dahlen Tue 13-Nov-12 12:35:44

Soggy - I've never really understood why the need to have a practical lesson on condoms TBH. It's not rocket science and they come with instructions that if the school has done it's job in terms of literacy are very easy to follow. you don't have a practical for any barrier method or for sex itself. wink

Far better to talk about the ethical issues raised by sex IMO.

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