dh is lazy

[sosotiredagain123]

background i work 0.5wte dh works fulltime two dc. i do all the school runs, cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, ironing., on sat took dd to a lesson and waited for her for an hour. had already dropped ds off at a football match collected him after dd lesson. then cooked lunch and dropped ds off at a party asked dh to pick him up so i could get a few jobs done he refused he gets all the lie ins and his excuse for everything is you work partime

[ecclesvet]

I think both partners should get equal free time, as far as possible. So with chores included, if you're working more hours than him, then things should be redistributed. If you're still working less, then I don't think you can really say he's lazy.

[GrimAndHumourless]

oh man, that sucks, big time

has he always been like this?

if he doesn't pull his own weight in the home, then stop doing stuff for him - stop doing his washing, stop making his sandwiches/packed lunch, stop doing his ironing

git

you don't have to put up with being treated like a skivvy, you really really don't

[sosotiredagain123]

i do way more than him and if i don't do thinks for him he moans and moans

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Let him moan. Just do nothing for him. If he wants to act like he doesn't have a family, why should he get the benefit of one?

[sosotiredagain123]

i do it for a quiet life as he yells rants and raves and insults

[GrimAndHumourless]

But it's not a quiet life for you if you are constantly running round cooking cleaning ironing shopping, wizzing kids hither and thither.

Tell us about the ranting and raving and yelling - does he only do the ranting etc if there is what he considers a problem or deficit in what you've done ? Does he go off on one even if you've done your best ?

[sosotiredagain123]

a bit of both sometimes i think i have done what he wants but he stillpicks holes

[GrimAndHumourless]

Sweetie I must away to bed, not abandoning you

Fwiw I think you are in an abusive relationship

[MrsTerryPratchett]

insults? That doesn't sound good.

[squoosh]

He treats spending time with his children as a chore. Why did he become a Dad in the first place?

[tallwivglasses]

Well there are lots of ways you could try to improve matters here, but frankly, op, why bother? He's a dick. Do yourself a favour and scrub the 'doormat' graffiti off your forehead and start to lead a more fulfilling life.

[sosotiredagain123]

i know i need ti get out but he says he will go for custody and i know he will

[ErikNorseman]

And why do you think he would be successful? 'Going for custody' (an old fashioned concept, it's all about shared access these days) is often threatened by nasty men who wouldn't actually want 24/7 responsibility if it was handed on a plate. If you want out then head over to relationships for some great practical and emotional support. Do not believe the lie that leaving him means losing your kids.

[glenthebattleostrich]

Honey it is very unlikely he would get residency. My DBro is a great parent (3 assessments, a phych report and 2 years of court cases agree!) His ex abused the children, both pysically and emotionally, and he still had to fight through the courts to get the girls with him.

Please get in touch with Womens Aid, www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CNjavqfkyLMCFePHtAodNEMAnA