To ask that school pupils use my first name, rather than mrs. Smith?

(57 Posts)
PramFaceBuggyBrain Sun 11-Nov-12 22:15:38

I'm a peripatetic percussion teacher in secondary schools and really dont like the formality of "Mrs Smith". aibu to ask that, in a school i'm about to start teaching in, that the pupils call me "Jane" instead? would this seem weird to the parents?

musicposy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:08:31

Btw, I don't think parents will care or think it odd one way or another.

Idocrazythings Sun 11-Nov-12 23:22:39

Well you could never be "miss Jane". Google miss Jane and mr squiggle- not sure how to put up YouTube links sorry

izzywizzyisbizzy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:26:50

As a parent, Id care, I may not say anything but I do not like the idea of teachers who become over familiar with their pupils and personally I would consider this as the start of a slippery slope.

ninah Sun 11-Nov-12 23:32:59

that's good lynette, the pupils I have met have been amazing and I like the ethos
on the nomeclature thing I do know parents who would be bothered by the first name thing. Op you have to go with school policy, as others have said.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 11-Nov-12 23:34:27

I hate being called Mrs or 'Miss' (shudder), but I guess you have to go along with the school policy if they have one... if not, knock your socks off, the odd parent might have the strange view that it's a slippery slope - but frankly, the teachers that have been running off with their students seem to have been called Mr/Miss/Mrs at school - so the slippery slope thing doesn't really seem to work that way wink

ninah Sun 11-Nov-12 23:36:17

slippery slope to where, exactly? realising teacher are - gasp - human?

Dominodonkey Sun 11-Nov-12 23:40:25

pramface - If you were a f/t or p/t music teacher on the school staff then I would definitely say YABU. But I assume you teach very few pupils and only individually or in very small groups. Not to be rude but I doubt any of the school staff outside the music dept know who you are and do not care what you are called. The suggestion that hoards of children will be asking their teachers to call them by their first name as pram lets them just would not happen.
IMO it is a completely different job to a class teacher more akin to a sports coach. The relationship with the students would be quite different too.

izzywizzyisbizzy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:48:44

No, not slippery slope in that sense, but it encourages a sense of friends and helps break down barriers, I am not going to go into why in detail, but suffice to say, having had experience of a teacher who didn't maintain what I would consider an appropriate distance, and the fallout that disclosures to that teacher led to, thats the kind of slippery slope I mean.

Don't get me wrong, said teacher didn't do anything inappropriate, however, his inability to maintain an appropriately professional distance caused no end of problems, for himself and his pupils.

Teachers are - teachers, especially at secondary school level, calling your teacher say, John, rather than Mr. Smith, immediately starts to break down barriers.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:53:50

music teachers are def allowed to be called by their first name.

I will always remember a Mr Flanigan first music lesson in year 7 he jumped on the table and said " this is my fucking classroom and I will jump swear and shout whenever I want to, also you can call me Tim" He was such a cool teacher till he got dismissed for looking at porn on his computer during school time apparently which wasn't a big deal compared to our lovely mrs "smith" who shagged a 6th former on the pool table

cory Mon 12-Nov-12 00:06:28

As a parent I can't say I'd care either way (I'm not the one who has to keep classroom discipline), but I suspect the other teachers might and if they feel it would make their work harder, then you need to respect that.

Dominodonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 00:35:00

Please read the op properly. She is not a classroom teacher.

Dominodonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 00:37:31

Sorry cory- read your post incorrectly. But I stand by my point 99% of the students won't have a clue who OP is.

I am also a little perturbed at the suggestion by some that calling your teacher by their first name is the first step to abuse.

muminthecity Mon 12-Nov-12 00:46:09

I'm surprised so many people think that using first names means you will not be respected. In my primary school all staff are known to the children by their first names, including the head. The children have no idea what our surnames are. I think the staff are still all respected.

SavoyCabbage Mon 12-Nov-12 00:59:37

At our school about a third of the teachers use their first name, including the strictest teacher in the school. There are also about six who use a shortened version of their surname. Mr Mac, Miss Bee, Mrs R.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Mon 12-Nov-12 01:00:29

I don't think it's necessarily the case that calling teachers by their first names leads to disrespect, but often the kind of teachers who instigate that when it's not the school's usual policy (the "Call me Pippa's") are the ones who try to be a bit matey with the kids/ treat it like a popularity contest, and that leads to problems. I do remember having a few like that, but the calling by a Christian name was a symptom of their overall approach, not the cause of them not being able to maintain classroom control for more than 2 mins.

However, as the Op's DH isnt a classroom teacher, i dont think it's such a biggie.

Here in Asia, kids often call the teacher "Miss, Mrs or Mr [first name], or sometimes "Teacher [first name].

Startail Mon 12-Nov-12 01:00:45

OUr HT got Huffy with the pupils for calling the PP music master "Fred", DD1 got huffy about the HT getting huffy and years later (she carried on having lessons with him privatly after going to high school, and still calls him Fred).

I think the only reason the HT moaned was the boys were very disrespectful and naughty with the lad who ran the football club and people able to coach at 3.30 are few and far between.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Mon 12-Nov-12 01:04:10

Sorry OP- for some reason I got it in my head that it was your DH, not you that was the percussion teacher- think it's because the drum teacher at school was a man [goes off to examine feminist conscience]

Cozy9 Mon 12-Nov-12 02:54:40

I think teachers should be called Sir or Miss by the pupils.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Mon 12-Nov-12 03:01:30

Why is that Cosy - why don't you think they should at least be Mr/Miss/Mrs Surname?

Joiningthegang Mon 12-Nov-12 07:20:03

I prefer forst names and dont think it leads to disrespect in any way.

Unless you think school will be very against it fo with your instinct.

At my kids achool there are a few ta's and all the after school coaches who are known by there firt names and no diseespebct there.

Brycie Mon 12-Nov-12 07:25:14

I've had this in a primary/secondary, I thnk it's a bit of a joke, but are you a different kind of teacher where it doesn't matter so much. It looks a bit "love me love me I'm so groovy" to me.

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 12-Nov-12 07:25:58

I respected my teacher "Terry" more than any other...we all did. He knew we were people and not faceless kids.

Brycie Mon 12-Nov-12 07:26:19

Yes Richman is right I think - well put.

Brycie Mon 12-Nov-12 07:27:46

Ninah: where to? first name teacher, massage in class..

ll31 Mon 12-Nov-12 07:55:43

all ds teacher s primary and secondary used first names - no problems

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