To think I can't do this today...

(66 Posts)

Barely had any sleep last night as both sons kept waking up. DS1 is 2.9, DS2 is 7 weeks. DS1 was supposed to go to nursery today but has been so unsettled I think is best keep him home. My mum has been over since DS2's birth but went home yesterday so am missing the support.

So AIBU to want to beg my husband to stay home today & help out as I really feel like I can't do it myself?

minibmw2010 Fri 09-Nov-12 07:45:54

Take DS1 to Nursery, he'll enjoy and have fun, then nap while the baby sleeps.

scootle Fri 09-Nov-12 07:46:58

Just ask dh to get your ds ready for nursery. If hecan drop him off, great but if not all you have to do is take him. And get dh to make you some sandwiches for lunch. You'll be fine.

44SoStartingOver Fri 09-Nov-12 07:47:15

I think you need to get on with it.

No further background? No injuries, health conditions, recent trauma etc?

I'm so tired though I don't feel I'd be safe to drive this morning sad
I'm not trying to put obstacles in my own path, just too tired to think.

Bubblenut Fri 09-Nov-12 07:47:31

You need to do it.

Chances are older ds will be shattered after nursery so you can nap while he's there and when he gets home!!

ScarahScreams Fri 09-Nov-12 07:49:21

Definately take him to nursery, you need that time even if for 3 hours.

Well yes there is another thread on here about that. On Wednesday night I tripped getting DS1 out of the car & he split his forehead open. We went to A&E & he was glued together but had split the skin down to the bone. I kept him off nursery yesterday & he seemed fine but hasn't been happy all night.

44SoStartingOver Fri 09-Nov-12 07:51:46

Is it walk able?

Have tea/coffee and get on with it. Are you really so unsafe ?

Sounds like a fairly regular event for many families. I think you have delayed crunch time by having your mum around for so long. Hopefully younare now over delivery ( most people are getting back into the swing after a couple of weeks I think).

Time to woman up!

44SoStartingOver Fri 09-Nov-12 07:52:41

Ah cross post.

Sounds like ds will benefit from some fun at nursery, then will sleep better tonight.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 07:53:48

Keep him home on account of his injury and have a DVD/sofa day.

Sorry, but I think you need to do this. My DH is Forces, he went away for 3 weeks when DS2 was 16 days old andDS1 was 2.1. I was knackered. I had no help. I just had to get in with it like most people!

maddening Fri 09-Nov-12 07:54:06

I know how you feel - ds has not sttn in 21mths and recently had 3 days of waking every 40 mins as he was poorly. Last night I was exhausted but had trouble dropping off till 1am and ds has been restless and bf since 3.30am so we are no going swimming today as it is either 40 mins drive on slow roads or 25mins on a motorway - can't face either. Plus ds is sill poorly so best to stay home.

But if I could drop ds off for the morning I would do - it's hard keeping a toddler entertained when you're knackered.

Thank you 44, I need a kick up the backside. No it's not walkable (near my work 14 miles away).

Yes, having my mum around for so long has made me more dependent than I ought to be. In a way I'm glad she's gone but am scared of coping on my own.

DigestivesWithCheese Fri 09-Nov-12 07:56:18

Send DS to nursery. He will be more settled if you keep him in his routine. Then you can go straight back to bed with the baby. I hope you feel better after some sleep.

Chandon Fri 09-Nov-12 07:56:33

it is tough!

I remember sitting on the floor and sobbing and not knowing how I would make it through the day....at 9 in the morning!

Be kind to yourself, and do what suits you best. Don't panic about sleep loss, don't keep count of the hours you sleep that only leads to panic.

Humans were designed to be able to cope with sleeploss at times.

just do what suits you and take one hour at the time!

marriedinwhite Fri 09-Nov-12 08:00:19

You need to get on with it and establish a routine. If you don't do it today it will be harder on Monday. You have had a huge amount of help if your mum has been with you for 7 weeks.

Your DH has to go to work; you have to grit your teeth and deal with it. Ultimately it's all about organisation rather procrastination.

bbface Fri 09-Nov-12 08:00:19

Agree with everyone else. It is tough, but motherhood often is. Good luck, but you really need to do this yourself.

Violet77 Fri 09-Nov-12 08:00:33

You will be fine. Just deal with your day. It's good your mum has gone now you need to find a groove.

I'd say keep him home, have an easy day. Break it down into periods of time, it will be more managable. When i had two similar age to yours i would go for a long walk after lunch. ( wipe an hour out) its good for your health to get out for a walk you will feel much better. Then come home play for a hour then go to the park, then home for dinner.

Your having a wobble that's all :-)

mutny Fri 09-Nov-12 08:02:23

Yanbu to went dh to stay home. But yabu if you ask him to or expect it.
hr can't not work everytime they have had a bad night. Its shit.

OTTMummA Fri 09-Nov-12 08:03:17

You need to do it, once it is done you will realise it isn't that bad at all. DD is 3 months now and DS started school when she was 8 weeks old, I had a section and 4 transfusions, was knackered beyond belief and DH only had 3 weeks off. I was petrified tbh, but the night before DH went back I got everything ready do all I had to do was get showered, dressed and feed and clothe the children and leave. If you can't walk then keep the car cool, fresh breeze will keep you alert, stop doubting yourself. You can and will do it smile

Violet77 Fri 09-Nov-12 08:04:24

Also batch cook, casseroles and easy dinners you can pop in the oven at lunch will make the difficult afternoons less stressful.

Good luck.

Sirzy Fri 09-Nov-12 08:05:54

Get DS to nursery, if you don't feel you can drive walk or get a taxi (if no lift is available)

Then come home and when the baby naps you nap.

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 08:06:41

You CAN do it.

You need to lower your standards. Right down.

When I was having no sleep after the arrival of DS2 my target for the day was "everyone is fed, nobody is dead". That's the kind of target you can achieve.

If that means the TV on all day for longer than you normally would, so be it. If it means you just put coats over their PJs to get to shops, so be it. If it means one or both children has to be strapped into a pram crying for half an hour so you can do what has to be done, so be it. If it means toast for three two meals a day, so be it.

You do not have to be a brilliant, engaged, stimulating wonderful mother for every day of your children's lives. A few crappy months weeks after a new baby arrives and everyone is knackered is NORMAL and not going to do any lasting harm.

Make sure YOU eat, go to the loo, drink plenty of water etc as well as sorting them out. Make sure your partner knows how important it is for you to know when they will be getting home and that you NEED them to be on time.

This is the toughest stage and it does not last forever, I promise. Don't beat yourself up too much. In a few short months the baby you can't put down and the toddler you can't unpeel from your leg will be crawling after each other round the living room pretending to be lions and you will suddenly think "Aha! THAT'S why I had another one!" and it will all be okay smile

crunchernumber Fri 09-Nov-12 08:06:46

I remember that feeling. I remember opening my eyes in the morning and feeling I was never going to make it.

Coffee
Shower
Take DS1 to nursery
Come home, more tea
back to bed with baby.

You will do it - not long til bedtime wink

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