to feel that most females have been the victim of some kind of sexual abuse?

(639 Posts)
SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 14:46:31

AIBU?

I was very nearly raped by a taxi driver. Also my cries of NO have been ignored on a couple of occasions.

gallifrey Fri 05-Oct-12 15:00:17

When I was 16 I went out with an 18 yr old lad from my area, he was a bit of a "hard nut" and built like a brick shit house. Anyway we were in his bedroom one evening and he forced himself on me. I said no but he basically ignored me despite my protests and called me a prick teaser. I have never ever told anyone this sad

lisad123 Fri 05-Oct-12 15:01:02

Sadly a very common story sad please report if you feel strong enough x

charlienash25 Fri 05-Oct-12 15:07:20

Unfortunately happened to me when i was 14 - by someone i thought was a friend. Told him no, he carried on, i cried, he finished, i went home and reported to police 2 weeks later after not speaking to anyone for this period of time.

Went to do a statement to which the lady in the station told me directly 'Im not surprised with the way you are dressed' (it was summer, i was wearing jeans and boob tube top - but apparently this was too slutty)

Ended up moving house, putting it behind me and getting on with my life. Just thankful it wasnt a stranger and I didnt get hurt really....

sigh

NiniLegsInTheAir Fri 05-Oct-12 15:12:58

YANBU.

I was sexually abused as a child by a slightly older cousin every week or so over a few months. Never told anyone in the family.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 15:16:06

YANBU. The female who has not had her sexual boundaries crossed in some way doesn't exist IMO.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 05-Oct-12 15:17:45

YANBU.

Countless times OP.

Had advances made when babysitting for neighbour by her letcherous dad.

Had advances made when working in Saturday jobs by the owners (two separate occasions/jobs)

Lot of other kind of minor incident, major ones also, as in;

Raped

Stalked

owlelf Fri 05-Oct-12 15:17:45

I was kissed and groped in the crotch and chest by a member several times by a member of my extended family. I was 14, he was 17. It sounds utterly ridiculous but I honestly didn't really understand what was going on, I knew it was wrong, but I somehow thought I had done something wrong too- I felt ashamed so I said nothing.

I've never been sure if it was abuse or misplaced curiosity, but I hate him for it.

NolaFfing Fri 05-Oct-12 15:20:48

I was "felt up" my by MIL's father.

I wont go into details in my normal name, but I agree with you. sad
Not good is it. I guess the natural question to ask then, is why?

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 15:22:54

I would be really interested to hear from someone who feels they've never had an unwanted sexual experience of any kind in their life.

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 15:23:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Certainly. Luckily, I have never been raped. I have been sexually assaulted on numerous occasions. Strangers, once a group of strangers, who groped me in the street. I was a child (about 12) at the time. Then, the usual idiots in bars, idiots who think you fancy them, idiots who don't know you don't want to sleep with them. It's fucking depressing and enraging when you think about it. It makes me despair for DD.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 15:23:35

Can I just ask, Beyond, and of course you don't need to answer, but why don't you want to go into details in your normal name?

x-posted. Never saw the baby picture.

I don't feel that I have ever had any unwanted sexual attention.
So for me personally yabu but for the majority I suspect yanbu

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 15:30:06

Very glad to hear it jazz.

VeritableSmorgasbord Fri 05-Oct-12 15:31:14

I have escaped lightly, just a few minor gropings hmm one by a hospital consultant (wish I had reported that one but I was ill and not really truly sure what had gone on).

I can confidently say that if not all then most women have had something done to them against their will, and the number of women I know personally who've been subjected to violence and child rape is quite staggering.

I really believe there is a problem with making ordinary decent men aware of the extent of it. Obviously the perpetrators either know they've done it and think it's their right, or know they've done it and know it's wrong. I've tried to make a couple of non-offending men aware that nearly every woman they know will have been abused in one way or another and they have quite simply refused to believe me.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 15:31:17

That's great Jazz, I'm really heartened to hear it. It sometimes feels like there is no one that hasn't experienced it.

MonaLotte Fri 05-Oct-12 15:31:43

Thanks for that Sole. I haven't seen that image but now have an image of what you described in my head. You are as bad as ITN. Sorry of I sound harsh or clutching at pearls.
I came on here to share that I've had an older adult in a drama group expose himself to me in a dressing room. I was 15 I think he was 30 or so. I've also had a gay youth group worker tell me it's a shame I wasn't gay as I was her type when we were alone. I found it really disturbing.

secretlyahippy Fri 05-Oct-12 15:32:08

YANBU - as a child my uncle always tried to put his hand up my skirt. Another uncle turned his head and shoved his tongue in my mouth as I innocently kissed him goodbye when he was ill. Restraunt boss when I was 14 always 'accidently' rubbing himself up against me. Was camping on a beach abroad with friends when 20 years old and at a beach party the 'heartthrob' hmm surfer dude pinned me down and ignored me trying to push him off and say no repeatedly. I was very nearly raped but for some extreme inner strength and magic aim managed to headbut him very very hard in the face which stopped him enough for me to run away.

weegiemum Fri 05-Oct-12 15:32:35

Never.
I've never been raped, assaulted, groped, flawed at, touched when I didn't want to be.

I realise this makes me very lucky.

OneHandFlapping Fri 05-Oct-12 15:32:40

I wasn't going to post on this thread, because I'm afraid of sounding smug - whereas I actually think I've just been lucky. I had no idea that sexual assault was so prevalent.

But Cailin asked, so I'm going to say I've never been raped, or nearly raped, or seriously sexually assaulted.

I once had may crotch groped at a student party, but it was passing, and I didn't feel violated particularly. I can't remember any other unwanted physical contact at all.

I hope that this reamins the case.

spoonsspoonsspoons Fri 05-Oct-12 15:33:11

I've never experienced any sort of sexual abuse or had any unwanted sexual encounters. Unwanted advances maybe, but nothing that was pursued when feelings were made clear

I've seen a flasher, and whilst i understand the motivation behind that is sexual all i saw was a partially naked old man.

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 15:35:22

Sorry Mona just it was national news. I should have complained.

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