To kiss my children on the lips?

(119 Posts)
ilikeyoursleeves Mon 11-Apr-11 20:18:12

I was reading a thread yesterday where a lot of people were talking about how inappropriate it is to kiss children on the lips, I have always done this & kiss my ds's many times every day. They are only 1 & 3 years & I imagine I won't kiss them as much when they are older, but I am now wondering if I'm weird in thinking there is nothing wrong with this? From a parent anyway, I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone kissing them but their grandparents kiss them on the lips too & i think that's ok. Apologies if this is a thread about a thread, but I'm genuinely interested in what others think.

Crawling Mon 11-Apr-11 20:18:55

YANBU

mumblechum1 Mon 11-Apr-11 20:19:40

I've never done that, but not really thought about why not before - maybe because kissing on the lips is what lovers do?

droopypoppies Mon 11-Apr-11 20:20:58

I'd never really thought about it until I saw my sisters MIL kissing her fully grown adult sons on the lips. They are all 24+ years old and it made me feel abit yuk tbh.

bibbitybobbityhat Mon 11-Apr-11 20:21:22

Of course yanbu. Can't imagine not kissing my dc on the lips, always have done (barring illness grin) and will do for as long as I can get away with.

Mumwithadragontattoo Mon 11-Apr-11 20:21:26

YANBU - 'tis perfectly normal if you ask me. I actually think you'd have to be pretty unaffectionate to object to this.

as far as my DS (4) is concerned, a kiss is not a kiss if it's not on the lips!

dontcallmepeanut Mon 11-Apr-11 20:22:10

YANBU. DS only kisses close family on the lips. I always kissed my parents on the lips when I was young. (Not sure what age I stopped) Some people take political correctness too far.

tazmosis Mon 11-Apr-11 20:22:52

YANBU -why wouldn't you kiss your little ones on the lips? I wouldn't kiss anybody elses children on the lips - defo cheeks then but my own - yup big smackers on the lips! They're 5 and 6 btw.

So no YANBU.

52Girls Mon 11-Apr-11 20:23:20

Very normal.

SilveryMoon Mon 11-Apr-11 20:23:39

I always kiss my boys on the lips! Is lovely, apart from when they are covered in slobber wink

tazmosis Mon 11-Apr-11 20:24:01

And prob won't kiss them on the lips when they're grown up - I always kiss my mum on the cheeks now, but used to kiss her on the lips and my dad when I was little.

I generally kiss my children on the cheek but quite often my 2 year old will grab hold of my face and give me a big slobbery smacker on the mouth. It's quite funny. Pre children I think I would have found it odd and would never have kissed anyone else's children like that - and wouldn't do now. Also noone else kisses mine like that either - it might be the snotty noses and slobbery kisses that puts them off though grin

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 20:24:06

I kiss my 10 YO on the lips but not my 17 month old, for me it comes down to them doing it by choice, DD2's puckered up for the first time and gave us all a smacker on the mouth a week or so ago and we were all right chuffed grin

It's up to you what you do with your own DC.

With grandparents, isn't it a running joke that DC hate giving them a kiss?

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 20:25:28

'maybe because kissing on the lips is what lovers do?'

The OP's not talking about a full on snog, just a brief touching of lips.

PureBloodMuggle Mon 11-Apr-11 20:28:30

I think it's perfectly fine.

DS is coming up to 8 and objects to any style of kiss now!!!

Now with adult children I'm not so sure as they awareness of both parties that lip kissing can be sexual is a known thing.

washnomore Mon 11-Apr-11 20:29:01

I avoid kissing DS on the lips for two reasons. Frequent tonsillitis means he often has breath like something's died in there, and he doesn't hold back in yelling "Mum, you haven't brushed your teeth!" if I haven't, er, brushed my teeth blush

DD however is only a totty baby and still mostly has vanillaey milky breath (unless she's been having fajitas or something grin) and sometimes I do sneak a wee smacker from her. Although this comes at a price cos she usually tries to latch on!

ResurrectionByChocolate Mon 11-Apr-11 20:29:16

My family all kiss each other on the lips, but aren't otherwise affectionate or even supportive (more likely to needle each other).

Niecie Mon 11-Apr-11 20:29:27

I never did it with DS1 - he was always smothered in kisses just not on the lips.

DS2 wants to kiss on the lips and it did feel a bit weird, having avoided it with DS1, but I haven't stopped him. It is just a quick pucker up. I can understand why people don't like it but I also don't think there is anything wrong with it from a parent or grandparent. I would rather just give in to his demand for a quick peck than for him to wonder why I won't which makes it into an issue when it really isn't.

BestNameEver Mon 11-Apr-11 20:29:36

I dont kiss my children on the lips.
I am openly affectionate, its not that,its just that it wasn't the norm when I was growing up so when I first started to see it it looked yuck to me. I still think it is just for adults, for children hugs and kisses on cheeks are more appropriate.

Oh and I cannot stand when people get their dc to kiss everyone goodbye. Children should not be made to kiss people they dont know and only then it should be only people they choose to kiss.
I hate for eg, visiting a friend whos dc are heading to bed and they are told to go round the room kissing everyone goodnight (on the cheek). Separate issue I know to the cheek / lips thing but I'm just lobbing it in there!

BeautifulBlondePineapple Mon 11-Apr-11 20:29:40

I always kiss my DCs (5 & 2) on the lips. They always seem to have expected it! They kiss all our family (grandparents, uncles, aunties etc) on the lips. I'd kiss any other kiddy on the cheek or the forehead though.

Had to tell my Dad off a few years ago for his habit of aiming for the lips. It was fine when I was younger, but a bit bleugh now I'm 35. Cheeks only now thank you very much!

Loolah Mon 11-Apr-11 20:30:03

my dd2 always wants a kiss when either myself or dh are going out of the house without her, before bed and sometimes just because she can! she always puckers up for a slobbery kiss on the lips and when feeling very generous offers to kiss dd1 too

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 20:31:47

Especially if the DC has two snot runners BestName eeeeewwwww grin

FabbyChic Mon 11-Apr-11 20:36:17

Kissing on the lips is for lovers.

I have two kids, and have always smothered them with kisses but not on their lips.

gizzy1973 Mon 11-Apr-11 20:37:29

DS kisses us on the lips whether you like it or not but as he is only 15 months it is very sweet when he comes over and kisses you

usualsuspect Mon 11-Apr-11 20:38:48

Its perfectly normal

I even kiss my grandchildren on the lips shock

Dds are 5 and 3 here and we all kiss on the lips. Very normal IMO.

I kiss my children on the lips, they are only very little though. I hate the idea of anyone other than DH kissing them on the lips though.

I also still kiss one male friend on the lips when we meet/part, always have, know each other since we were 3, would be strange not to iykwim?

CocktailQueen Mon 11-Apr-11 20:44:50

I kiss both mine on the lips! They are 3 and 7. And a lot of our friends' kids offer their lips for kisses and I don't mind kissing them on the lips... I kiss my mum and dad on the cheeks tho, now, tho they kissed me on the lips whe I was a child.

MigratingCoconuts Mon 11-Apr-11 20:44:55

I kiss both mine on the lips and they kiss me on the lips. I *love * that! Its a demonstration of love and i come from a rather undemonstrative family so I am very pleased we share this connection.

YANBU absolutely!

SchroedingersCat Mon 11-Apr-11 20:46:02

yanbu. I don't kiss DD on the lips very often now (she is 4) but mostly because she goes 'bleugh; grin. I absolutely love the sweet kisses of little ones. Just makes me melt.

I cannot imagine it not being so. I will stop if and when the kids don't want me to any more.

ResurrectionByChocolate Mon 11-Apr-11 20:48:09

On the 'it's for lovers' view: I think the same about saying "I love you". I was astounded first time I heard it used for family members.

MrBloomEatsVeggies Mon 11-Apr-11 20:50:32

My DS's insist on lip kisses. Perfectly normal in our house.

dontcallmepeanut Mon 11-Apr-11 20:50:42

hmm I never went to bed without saying "I love you" to my mum, while I lived at home... And when I phone her, or vice versa, then it's the same.

SchroedingersCat Mon 11-Apr-11 20:51:55

same here, always told my family members that I love them. And tell my children the same, AT LEAST 5 times a day. As often as I can.

MigratingCoconuts Mon 11-Apr-11 20:54:51

exactly don't and schroedinger. I adore that my DS will grab me by the cheeks to make sure he plants one on the lips. Its nothing to do with 'lovers' its just touchingly lovely. I want my kids to grow up feeling they can express love in a way I just don't with my parents.

smokinaces Mon 11-Apr-11 20:56:27

I tell my Mum Love you everytime we speak on the phone/say goodbye in person. I tell my boys many times a day. They also get kissed on the lips - and kiss each other on the lips. In fact huge picture in my front room is them kissing on the lips on dS2's 2nd birthday last year.

dontcallmepeanut Mon 11-Apr-11 20:56:52

DS get's "I love you" first thing iin the morning, when I drop him off at the nursery, when I pick him up, at bed time, and random little intervals. I remember one time when I was about five, I pissed my mum off that much that when she put me to bed, I didn't get a good night kiss or "I love you"... I sobbed my little heart out blush

pigletmania Mon 11-Apr-11 21:08:19

I am a lip kisser, well my dd aged for is so adorable, nothing else will do. I will have to give it up when she gets a bit older though.

minibmw2010 Mon 11-Apr-11 21:22:09

My mum does this to me as a greeting each time I see her and I really dislike it and constantly try to avoid it (which then makes me feel bad).

oneofthosedays Mon 11-Apr-11 21:34:27

We've always kissed both DCs on the lips, DH's family are more cheek kissers (apart from when MIL is pissed, then you get one on the lips!) but my family have always kissed on the lips. I still do it now with my mum and dad, not all the time though, usually if they're kissing the kids bye they'll just move onto me and do the same. I'd say I kiss my parents on the cheek as much as lips but lip kissing was normal when I was younger. Usually only kiss my sisters on the lips when a bit drunk, usually hug/kiss on cheek.

I kiss my younger nieces and nephews on the lips and older ones on the cheek (18/19yo). Nephews on DH's side you're lucky to get more than a quick 'bye' but they're all aged between 8-11yrs so understandable!

I don't find it strange or inappropriate at all, only really peck DH on the lips day to day - proper snogs saved for the bedroom so to us it's a really normal way of showing affection.

ilikeyoursleeves Mon 11-Apr-11 21:35:40

Good to see that most people think it's normal! The whole kissing is for lovers thing, I was talking about a peck on the lips not a snog so imo that's totally different. And btw I came from an extremely unaffectionate family so although its unfamiliar to me to be so tactile & openly living, I love kissing my boys & i' d be really saddenedif some people didn't do this for fear of it not being ' normal'.

Mumcentreplus Mon 11-Apr-11 21:40:27

I kiss both my girls on the lips..actually tbh they kiss me on the lips! they are 9 and 7...

confuddledDOTcom Mon 11-Apr-11 21:48:31

I kiss my children, my mum and my grandparents on the lips. I tell them all I love them too (my dad is funny but does kiss my girls). My nieces and nephews I follow their lead. Obviously they're from the same family so used to kissing on the lips anyway.

I can't call kissing my nurslings on the lips too intimate. I know many people who think their breasts belong to their partner too.

My youngest isn't much of a kisser, she likes hugs and kisses and lots of other play - like having being "eaten" - but she will only give kisses when it suits her. Apart from my belly, she loves kissing her baby sister!

hormonesnomore Mon 11-Apr-11 22:16:45

"On the 'it's for lovers' view: I think the same about saying "I love you". I was astounded first time I heard it used for family members."

Me too, ResurrectionByChocolate

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 22:19:17

My 13 (nearly 14) year old son still kisses me AND his step dad on the lips...I have no idea if or when he will stop, I s'pose its up to him really.

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 22:20:43

Ooooh blimey that is sooo sad hormonesnomore.

PunkPixie Mon 11-Apr-11 22:25:00

YANBU

I find it really odd that people see something other than affection between parent and child when they exchange a kiss on the lips. I've never met anyone IRL whose mind it crosses to call someone out, gove a dirty look to someone or get embarrassed for kissing their child on the lips.

smokinaces Mon 11-Apr-11 22:26:04

Resurrection and Hormones Do you guys not say "I love you" to your kids then??

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 22:26:48

I thought it read more like their parents never said it to THEM smokin...

smokinaces Mon 11-Apr-11 22:29:18

"On the 'it's for lovers' view: I think the same about saying "I love you".

To me that reads present tense, as in they only think its for lovers like a kiss on the lips.

If so, thats quite sad.

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 22:33:20

ah right, I missed the original post and only saw hormones reply.

I cant imagine not telling my child I love them....if you love your kids it shouldnt be a secret!

i started a thread about lip kissing when picking up my ds from pre school one of the parents told me off for giving him a kiss on the lips and a lot of you fellow mumsnetters told me to tell this parent to take a running jump

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 22:51:12

Some other parent told you off for kissing your own child on the lips? WTF!?!?

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 22:56:06

Same shock as bluddy at the parent telling you off devonshire.

How did you react? Or even better, have you got a link to the thread?

Glad MN gave you good advice grin

ResurrectionByChocolate Mon 11-Apr-11 23:06:02

Smokinaces, birth family never said it to each other, and I have no kids myself (by choice). Not sad about it, tho.

YouaretooniceNOT Mon 11-Apr-11 23:13:18

My son grabs me and kisses me on the lips. I guess now he is 12 i have to train him not to do this anymore. He is SN.

Should i? Is it inappropriate for an SN child? We are affectionate towards each other.

duckypoo Mon 11-Apr-11 23:18:18

Yep big lip kissers here, don't get a choice with ds2, he grabs my bloody ears and goes in for a big one grin. All this talk about kissing lately has made me realise that it's a bit of an odd thing to do really isn't it, you know, when something everyday just hits you at an odd angle, like when you say a word too many times and it loses it's meaning blush<rambling>

I don't really get the whole "it's too intimate" argument tbh, a baby/toddler has probably resided in your body for 36+ weeks, shared your blood supply and the air you breathe. They may spend 8 hours a day+ sucking on your nipples, being held, having their arses wiped by you. I think it's probably the most intimate relationship you will likely have.

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 23:19:25

Unless there's a reason I don't know, it's really sad you've asked if it's inappropriate for your DS to kiss you on the lips Youaretoonice.

duckypoo Mon 11-Apr-11 23:20:58

Youaretoo, not inappropriate in my book, if he was uncomfortable with it he would stop. If you are uncomfortable with it though then that's fair enough.

ResurrectionByChocolate Mon 11-Apr-11 23:35:08

Use of "darling" would freak out my birth family, too (have no kids myself). Not that they think it's weird, or anything - just way above their payscale.

YouaretooniceNOT Mon 11-Apr-11 23:38:25

Yeah not uncomfortable just he does this in public too. Wonder what people think. Might think i'm a pervert. sad sad sad

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 23:41:33

Dont be ridiculous.

Would you really tell your son he isnt allowed to kiss you on the lips just in case someone might think he shouldnt?

my 3 younger children all want to kiss me on the lips ...they are the lips that have kissed them when they were growing up, there comes a time in a childs life when they won't kiss you on the lips and will rather give you a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek - my eldest 3 got to that point at around 10 -12 yrs ish

I wouldnt dream of kissing my teens or 20's kids on the lips <bleurk emoticon>

GreenEyesandHam Mon 11-Apr-11 23:45:41

Good gawd, I kiss all my children on the lips, nieces, nephews, I kiss my mum on the lips as well.

Other family members get the 'slightly to the side of the lips' kiss

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Apr-11 23:46:01

Fuck 'em youaretoonice, absoloutely nothing to do with anyone else.

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 23:48:26

My teen kisses ME on the lips....he can stop when he wants to.

I wouldnt force my kiss on the lips on any child....too many bad memories of hairy aunts at weddings - but if thats where they go to kiss me I wouldnt whick my head away.

lol BluddyMoFo hairiness is what prohibits me from kissing my older kids on the lips ...they are far hairier than I am and I am sensitive to razor rash

babybarrister Tue 12-Apr-11 07:20:44

YANBU

InPraiseOfBacchus Tue 12-Apr-11 10:07:16

Both my parents still kiss me on the lips in public. It's just a sweet thing to do. It's not like we go full throttle with tongues! I don't think it's necessarily a sexual thing at all.

SherlockMoans Tue 12-Apr-11 10:59:26

You know I was thinking about this as DS, age 8, kissed me on the lips this morning. Its not something I encourage, if I realise in time then I try to steer them to a cheek, but really I think it would do far more harm if I made a fuss about it.

I am trying to gently get them out of the habit as DH kisses his mum on the lips and I think its really yukky!

As for "I love you" we say it all the time, them to me, me to them, grandma to them - mother in law vv unlikely to say it to me grin

confuddledDOTcom Tue 12-Apr-11 11:19:58

My 28 year old brother kisses our mum on the lips. I don't see the problem. It's their relationship not mine and they're just a normal mother and son.

I don't like it, it's absolutely not something anyone in our family would do. But I acknowledge that although we (inc. my parents, brother etc) are an extremely close knit family, we are not physically close and don't do much hugging and kissing. I don't object to kissing DD on the lips especially but don't choose to and wouldn't like anyone outside of immediate family to do it.

Lips.

My DS (4) would do full on snogs with me, DH and DD if we let him. He loves a big smacker on the lips.

DD (5) does lips for when it's an 'important' kiss. i.e 'night night' 'bye bye' 'I love you' etc

We all say 'i love you' to each other every day.

I think it's normal and lovely.

We have a fair bit of mediterranean influence in our home though so the thought of being anything but tactile is completely alien to us grin

MyMamaToldMe Tue 12-Apr-11 11:35:09

I kiss my DD on the lips, the cheek, her hand, her arm, her head - anywhere! I love kissing her and no-one's warped views on affection will stop me from being affectionate with my child!

LadyWithNoManors Tue 12-Apr-11 11:36:06

I kiss my children on the lips, it's just a natural form of affection and i never really thought about it until I read this thread.
I think far more harm would be caused by parents NOT kissing their children and being affectionate. I'm talking from experience.
How sad that parents find it 'yukky' or feel they have to reign in showing affection for their child.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 12-Apr-11 11:42:24

We kiss our children on the lips and tell them we love them numerous times a day. That's normal to us, and there's certainly nothing romantic or sexual about our familial love and affection.

My in-laws have never told my husband that they love him. I find that really sad, and so does my husband. When MIL was terribly ill, DH told her he loved her, fearing he might not get another chance sad. She told him he was ridiculous and embarrassing her.

Quenelle Tue 12-Apr-11 11:53:02

YANBU

I kiss my son on the lips and always will do if he'll let me. I tell him I love him several times a day, so does DH, and always will.

I still kiss my mum and dad on the lips too.

dearyme Tue 12-Apr-11 11:55:11

i dont kiss my kids on the lips but do hug and kiss them every day and tell them i love them

hormonesnomore Tue 12-Apr-11 14:23:32

I'm from a very undemonstrative family. No 'I love yous' or hugs. Ex-h's family are the same.

I used to love hugging and kissing my children but apart from DD1, they stopped allowing hugs when they were about 10 yrs old.

They'd think it very odd if I wanted to hug them now, as adults.

But sometimes I need a hug sad

ilikeyoursleeves Tue 12-Apr-11 16:14:58

Shatnersbassoon- I know how your dh must feel, my family have never told me they love me either. On my wedding day I told my dad I loved him & his reply was ' we'll have enough of that nonsense'. Which is why I want to show & tell my kids how much I love them

confuddledDOTcom Tue 12-Apr-11 16:15:47

My ILs don't say love you. My girls tell them they do though. First time Nanny said "I wouldn't go that far" shock so I encourage her to tell them, not that she needs it, and it's so funny! She gets louder until she's yelling and they keep pretending she said something else... she's told me Nanny's rude before now but she doesn't question why they don't say it. Her grown up cousin doesn't understand them either and always gives the girls big hugs and kisses and yells back she loves them as loud as they yell at her.

Sad thing is MIL doesn't understand why they have a better relationship with my mum and is put out by it. She's even sulking because we asked them to have my stepsons at our wedding and my parents are going to have the girls. Despite us providing a room they're planning to stay in a caravan leaving us with two lads of 11 and 14 on our wedding night because they can't see we can't ask my parents to have the boys so it's not favouritism! Favouritism they've created, mind!

birdynumnums Tue 12-Apr-11 17:36:44

I don't think you are unreasonable for kissing YOUR child on the lips but I wouldn't do it personally as think it's a bit icky and much prefer to kiss my children's pudgy little cheeks. What I object to is other people kissing MY children on the lips. I don't do it myself so it actually really pisses me off when they do this. I remember being horrified when my friend came over to see my newborn and repeatedly planted kisses on his lips.

Also, I always feel it's a bit unhygenic too. If you are coming down with an illness but don't know it yet, i'd imagine you are far more likely to pass it on kissing children on the lips.

keyweeseed Wed 11-May-11 01:40:58

im suprised this conversation is going on tbh theres nowt wrong with it, be happpppy

MollyMurphy Wed 11-May-11 02:14:07

YANBU - my mom still kisses me on the lips - its not my preferece but there is nothing "wrong" with it. In France total strangers kiss you on either cheek - different strokes for different folks. No harm in a harmless peck whereever you choose to place it.

MollyMurphy Wed 11-May-11 02:16:07

Although I can see birdynumnums point though about passing on colds.....I always think of such things too.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Wed 11-May-11 03:57:47

kiss ds (4) on the lips, cheeks, top of head, feet, hands, tummy wherever i can reach!! will continue to do so until either he/i feel uncomfortable. for now its totally normal, lovely and so obviously different from a "lovers" type of affection, i'm totally amazed people can even think of it as such.

tell him i love him as much as possible too, until sometimes he says "i KNOW mummy" grin

ettiketti Wed 11-May-11 06:18:35

mine are 6&8 and the only time I don't kiss on lips is when they are dirty grin

We kiss and cuddle lots and tell one another we love one another too, but I am 100% sure they are my children and my husband is my lover....

ettiketti Wed 11-May-11 06:20:54

Thinking about it my dad kisses me on the liips still and I am 41 grin doesnt seem odd at all so maybe its just our thang.

Mumtomaybebabybella Wed 11-May-11 07:03:48

yanbu. I always kissed dd12 on the lips, till she was about 10 and just gradually kissed on the cheek instead. Agree I wouldn't want to kiss an adult on the lips except dh but small children is fine and actually quite cute.

belgo Wed 11-May-11 07:13:38

I have never done this, and discourage my children from kissing anyone (family members) on the lips, mainly due to risk of cold sores which many adults have.

Plenty of hugs, I love yous and kissing on checks though!

timetomoveon Wed 11-May-11 07:33:39

I kiss ds(3) on the lips many many times a day - well, usually he's the one grabbing my ears and kissing me grin. I also kiss my dad on the lips - doesn't seem weird to me at all.

Mine are 5 (DD) and 6 (DS) and both are quite happy to pucker up for a kiss on the lips!!! Had never ever thought it was anything other than completely normal. Only talking a peck, not a slobber! At some point, obviously, it will be less appropriate, but right now? Surely ok?

YANBU!!!!!!!!!

strandedbear Wed 11-May-11 07:43:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooGooMuck Wed 11-May-11 07:48:48

We are programmed to kiss our children on the lips as it is a way of boosting their immunity

You are supposed to do it. grin

YANBU, I kiss mine on the lips, the eldest is 8.

I find the "lips are for lovers" argument as ridiculous as "breasts are for sex"

The way I kiss my hubby is totally different to the way I kiss my children.

moanymandy Wed 11-May-11 08:45:29

Well I'm 24 and still kiss my Nan on the lips! I also see nothing wrong with kissing DC on the lips! I kiss my niece and nephew on the lips too! maybe im just wierd?!

headfirst you beat me to it, when I first read the "lips for lovers" that's the first thing that popped into my head!

I would hate to see the little look of hurt on DS face if I didnt kiss him or say I love you. sad

jeckadeck Wed 11-May-11 08:53:57

My parents never did it with me but me and DH automatically do it with DD. It feels totally natural for me now although that might change when she gets a bit bigger (she's a babe in arms). I think its horses for courses, but certainly not inappropriate.

I used to think it was a bit weird before having DD, but when she learned to kiss it was on the lips. When I kiss her I kiss her on her cheeks and her forehead, but if she wants to kiss me its on the lips.

melikalikimaka Wed 11-May-11 09:00:17

No chance, maybe when very little (rare), but don't find it appropriate and hate to watch any parent doing it.

thedirtydirtybastards Wed 11-May-11 09:13:44

The thing that really pisses me off about "lips are for lovers" and "breasts are for sex" is the implied ownership by the male partner of parts of the woman's body

My body part aren't FOR anything in that sense, they are mine to do with as I feel appropriate

I find it very sad that anyone thinks it is weird or wrong to kiss children or tell them they are loved sad

Shatners, your poor dh sad

thedirtydirtybastards Wed 11-May-11 09:17:32

having said that I do think when children are a bit older one should try to be sensitive to what they want in terms of physical affection

my nearly 9yo ds would be really horrified and hurt if I suggested toning down the physical contact in any way - he needs it

my stepfather insisted on wet, over-intimate slightly-too-long mouth kisses which made me feel sick and I dreaded hello and goodbye moments because I knew I would have to deal with the kiss - and he knew damn well that I didn't like it as well

but for the parents who think it is inappropriate even when the child is happy with it - why?

Toygirl Wed 11-May-11 09:34:46

I kiss my son on the lips and also my niece and nephew. I think it's strange that people find this odd. If I saw a mother insist their child kiss them on the cheek I would think they weren't affectionate as a person

Tuppence2 Wed 11-May-11 09:39:18

I kiss my LO (only just turned 1) on the lips, and cheeks, and forehead... Actually, anyway I can on her chubby little face grin
I also kiss my 7 yo niece on the lips, as you get no choice, she just comes over to you with her pout and plants one!

I don't kiss anyone else's children on the lips, purely because I know some families don't do it and don't want to make other parents uncomfortable. Now I think of it, it's only the 2 little girls in our family who get kisses on the lips. My nephew is 15 and avoids most kisses and cuddles from the family, like most teenagers do!

trixymalixy Wed 11-May-11 09:45:15

Yanbu, I always kiss my kids on the lips.

cannydoit Wed 11-May-11 09:53:04

oh my god. people seriously object to you kissing your own children on lips?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 11-May-11 09:53:48

As long as children know they're loved, it doesn't matter whether the kisses are on the lip, cheeks or tops of their heads. Everything is normal and fine, whichever, parents happy/kids happy - great.

I get a bit irritated with people who say thinks akin to 'We do it this way, how sad that you don't'. It's actually judging people who haven't asked for your option.

Youaretoonice, if you're still around, I spent years working with adults aged 18-65 with severe SN, I frequently visited them at home and most of them kissed their parents on the lips. I never once thought it was the slightest bit weird from a professional view. I have a son with severe SN (9) and will not stop kissing him on the lips until he doesn't want me to anymore.

I kiss all 3 of my children on the lips, neices and nephews too.

knittedbreast Wed 11-May-11 10:20:57

i kiss both my children on lips yes lovers kiss on the lips but i know they arent my lovers they are my children so it isnt comparable at all

ChristinaEliopolis Wed 11-May-11 10:35:17

Lots of lip kissing here too - except my smallest daughter (3) who hates kisses in any form but loves a cuddle instead. Smallest son (2) would be happy to kiss all day long grin

My grownup children dropped kissing along with ANY type of loving behaviour during the nightmare that was their teen years but all are now happy to kiss us on the cheek (or top of the head in my case as I am much shorter than them all!)

They kiss their smaller sibs on the lips though - but often use a babywipe first wink

Ormirian Wed 11-May-11 10:36:32

If the child doesn't like it it's not appropriate otherwise it's fine.

Assuming we are talking about a quick peck not a snog!

GooGooMuck Wed 11-May-11 15:09:20

genuinely shocked by anyone who hates to see children being kissed.

melikalikimaka, I'm looking at you shock

I still kiss my mum smile

minipie Wed 11-May-11 15:18:21

If the DCs like it then why on earth not.

What I don't get however <tangent alert> is people who kiss their dogs on the lips. <boak>

teachermummy2011 Wed 11-May-11 15:43:31

Kisses on lips and cheeks for my DS (12) and DD (4).

Kisses in public for DD but not for DS since he was 7 although he's now more agreeable to the idea so long as there are no other kids around...

They kiss each other on the lips too.

And that's how we like it.

Pinkjenny Wed 11-May-11 15:45:32

I kiss my children, my parents and my best friend on the lips. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

wigglesrock Wed 11-May-11 15:47:08

I kiss my children on the lips (5,3 and 11 weeks), so does my husband, grandparents, aunts and uncles, anyone that they usually kiss, gets kissed on the lips.

izzybiz Wed 11-May-11 15:49:37

I kiss my Dc on the lips, well Ds1 doesn't want kisses anymore but he is 18 now! (Still hugs though)
Dd is 7 and Ds2 is 2, they both kiss me on the lips as do my nieces and nephews.
I kiss my friends on the lips too.

melikalikimaka Wed 11-May-11 16:44:59

Kissed on the lips, Googomuck!

Dont make me out to be strange, I like kisses on cheeks, hands etc. but not on the slobbering lips.

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