to be having second thoughts about babysitter

[whoneedssleepanyway]

I have only ever left the DDs with family (grandparents have looked after them both on many occasions) or on the odd occassion a very close friend.

DH and I have been invited round to a friend's house for dinner which is local to us and we can't find a babysitter. The nursery the girls go to also have a babysitting service where they will find you a babysitter who has been vetted, checked etc.

Anyway booked one who is a girl who used to work at the sister nursery to the one the DD's go to she sounds nice.

Am now getting cold feet and worrying, i am not sure why. I will put the DD's to bed, she will come over at 8 to look after them till we get back at midnight, we are only round the corner (10 min walk away) so if anything happened we could go home.

Am just feeling weird now about someone I don't know at all sitting in my house looking after the DDs.

AIBU?

[TottWriter]

I don't think you are, but I don't think you should change your plans either. To me, that sounds like a natural reaction to it being hte first time you've left your DC with a non-family member. I'd be shitting bricks. I'd still do it though, because I know I'm hopelessly paranoid about everything, but fortunately can still rationalise enough to do things.

The other night DP and I went to a pub quiz and left BF DD (11wks) with her grandmother and two bottles of expressed milk. I fretted about her the whole time (what if she didn't take the bottle etc), we were only gone for three hours and it was fine. I think to myself, if I didn't ever worry about my children, surely that would be a sign I didn't care and was a bad mother? (I won't take it too far and over protect them though. My mum did that and it was miserable..okay, ramble over.)

[EsioTrot]

YANBU, as TottWriter said it's perfectly normal to feel nervous when you leave DC with non-family. When we first got a babysitter we didn't personally know I invited them round to meet the children for an hour and have a quick chat just so that I felt more comfortable about leaving DC with them. It also meant that DC were prepared if they woke up and found the babysitter there. I paid them for the hour and I think they found it useful too as I didn't have to run around showing them where things were etc whilst trying to get ready on the evening they were babysitting. Would this be an option for you?

Ultimately the babysitter is qualified and vetted and you are only minutes away so I don't think you have anything really to worry about even if you don't meet them beforehand.

Have a lovely evening and welcome to the world of no favours babysitting, it's very liberating just to be able to pay someone without feeling indebted to them. :)

[PatriciaHolm]

It's a natural reaction, but the girl sounds perfect, qualified, and you'll be just round the corner - sounds like the perfect first time babysitting scenario really! Go and have a wonderful time. If you want, she could ring you at say 9pm and tell you all is well.

We do this all the time with sitters through an agency, and have never once had a problem.

[perfumedlife]

I know how you feel. When ds was two, we booked the girl who looked after him at nursery. She was brilliant, he loved her and it was all good. BUT,, the week before i used a girl whose father I knew, he was our plumber, she was studying to be a nursery nurse, but a very 'young' 17. I just felt uneasy. Went out, ate the food super fast and went home at nine thirty instead of 11. She didn't hear us come in, heard ds screaming, went up to his room and she was just stood over the cot, staring at him. It freaked me out! She jumped when she saw us. To this day, I don't know if anything was amiss, but why would she not pick up a screaming child and comfort him?


The nursery girl sounds fine, really. Go, try and enjoy yourself. x

[whoneedssleepanyway]

thanks Tott and Esio, am feeling less like an over anxious protective mother now and more normal after your comments...think i amy ask her to come over half an hour or so early.

also apologies for the rogue apostrophes (DD's) in my opening post