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AIBU?

to want to call OFSTED?

16 replies

mumworried · 29/09/2010 20:49

My 2 DD's 5 & 6 go to childminder 3 days a week after school until 5.30pm. They have their dinner there.

Today they were in the lounge and I was cooking their dinner - no childminder tonight as GP's take them to gym. I hear them both hysterically crying and rush in. After calming them down DD1 says they don't want to go to the childminders anymore.

Apparently yesterday they, the boy mindee and the childminders 2 DC's were laughing and talking too much at dinner time and wouldn't settle. So the childminder put my DD1 in a highchair and strapped her in to eat - DD1 says it hurt her mini and put DD2 at the small table and strapped her into the chair. Both DD's were distraught for an hour and do not want to go there again. Aparrently the boy mindee was laughing at DD1 and then the childminder was too.

I spoke to childminder who says DD2 had to sit at small table and when she had finished she swapped with DD1. No-one was strapped in and no-one sat in the highchair.

She said this wouldn't happen again as she has a sticker chart now. Confused

My dad has gone around there to talk to the CM, and look at the highchair as DD1 has given a very intricate description of it and how her feet were nearly touching the floor etc.

If this is true my DD's will not be attending again and should I report to OFSTED??

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DurhamDurham · 29/09/2010 20:54

Think you need to have along chat with your childminder. It was a bit of a delayed reaction from your daughter, if it was that bad she would have been upset when you picked her up surely? I hope you get to the bottom of it but I wouldn't call OFSTED until you are sure of the facts,you owe your childminder that much.

And just because your daughter gave a detailed description of the highchair it doesn't mean she was strapped in it, she prob sees it 3 times a week.

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mumworried · 29/09/2010 21:33

Have spoken to childminder, after speaking to the boy mindees mum. She spoke to her DS and asked him what had happened at the dinner table, not mentioning what DD's had said and confirmed their story.

CM has admitted they are telling the truth.

What do I do now.

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IAPJJLPJ · 29/09/2010 21:40

so she has lied to you.

You need to think if you will have peace of mind if you send them to her.

If after a long chat with cm you feel you can, then I would. But only if you have been happy up to this point.

I would also take your dd feelings into consideration, as again you need to know they are happy in order for you to be able to be effective at work.

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mumof2children · 29/09/2010 21:42

no way would my children be going back there.

it not even the strapping in the high chiar, it more of the CM lying to you, i would feel i couldn't trust her.

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backwardpossom · 29/09/2010 21:46

I guess you make a formal complaint?

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MrsGravy · 29/09/2010 21:47

I would definitely speak to OFSTED about this. And, no, I wouldn't send them back.

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robynjane · 29/09/2010 21:48

You will always have doubt in your mind if your dds carry on going there and one day they come out unhappy. Because cm lied the trust has gone. My dd became very nervous of my cm's ds..i knew something was wrong and caught him in act of hurting her. Not worth feeling bad, plenty of good cm's out there who you can trust.

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mumworried · 29/09/2010 21:49

mumof2children thats my point. She also said how my DD1 use to be such a lovely girl she could chat to and now shes always saying 'i hate this and that' etc. Nothing to do with childminder just general hating school subjects, TV programmes etc. The CM has 2 DCs 4 &2 so hasn't had a child this age and I do not think she understands the phase they gp through or how to deal with DD if she does this. I do think she got to the end of her tether but its the 'physical restraining' of my DD's that is the worry.

DD1 is a real worrier, people pleaser, very aceademic, but gets very angry over silly injustices. My friend recommended I looked up 'the highly sensisitive child' which does fit DD1 and so I have been looking at ways to be empathatic to her whilst discipling and valuing her emotions. I am worried about the long term effect this will have. Sad

Whilst I admit the CM did need to discipline, she said they were kicking the table and laughing even when asked to stop, DD's said they were just laughing and talking too much as were all the DC's at the table, this was way over the top and actually unnessecary.

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ConnorTraceptive · 29/09/2010 21:51

I would not send my child back to someone who blatently lies to you about how she has handled your children. Not a chance in hell.

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ConnorTraceptive · 29/09/2010 21:54

Even if they were being exceptionally naughty at the table it was an innapropriate way to handle the situation and suggests the CM doesn't have the necessary skills to gain control in a situation

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ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 29/09/2010 21:56

I'm sorry but if this is true I would actually be talking to the police, strapping children down isn't really an ofsted issue, it's abuse.

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ballstoit · 29/09/2010 21:57

Personally I would report this to Ofsted. Bad enough that your childminder did this to your daughters, but then she lied about it too? Horrible. The least this childminder needs is further training, although I would feel pretty cross if I found out that a CM had been reported for doing this and was still registered.

Also, I think it would be pretty bad for your daughters' self esteem to still be looked after by the minder after she has both treated them like this and told lies about them. They need to be able to trust you to protect them, and if you send them to this CM again they may feel that they cant.

Sorry your DDs have been upset in this way, there are some lovely CM out there.

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mumworried · 29/09/2010 22:03

Thanks ball my friend said as much about my DD's needing know I'll protect them from this sort of 'abuse' from people in 'loco parentis' of them.

connor exactly. She doesn't have DC's this age and thinks my DD1's 'hating' everything is bad behaviour, I have explained it's a developmental stage which needs her to focus on what she does like. I do feel tho I shouldn't ne having to explain children to a CM, who is a childcare specialist. Confused

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LisaD1 · 29/09/2010 22:19

OMG! I'm an ex-childminder (gave up in May of this year) and a mum adn am furious on your behalf! This "CM" has totally abused her position of trust. She has lied to you and physically restrained your children. I would give immediate notice and advise that you will not be sending your DC back to her, I would also report to Oftsed and I think I would even report to the police as she has assaulted your DC.

People like this should not be allowed to "care" for children and personally I would want to do all I could to prevent her from continuing.

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PorkPieLove · 29/09/2010 22:31

Yes...call the police and lodge a formal complain against the cow. She's obviously not fit to work with kids!
My DD is very sensitive..don't worry...I am sure she will forget this eventually. Hope they're ok now.

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veritythebrave · 29/09/2010 22:39

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