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AIBU?

To feel a bit annoyed with DH?

34 replies

emmyloulou · 27/09/2010 09:33

I know it is more than likely my loony raving hormones own odd wobbly moment but I am a little bit pissed off, AIBU?

So 2 weeks to go until baby is here, my head is all over the show. Anyhow past week or so Hubby has been working on his website, it used to be is job but is now his hobby, I don't mind as he'll get minimal time when baby is here and he is helping me out a lot.

But we don't seem to be getting much "chill" time together which is starting to becoma a bit of an issue now, which I have already mentioned. I know our time will be very much restricted soon too, so would maybe like to make the most of it?

Get the kids in bed maybe some nights we could sit down together?

Anyway I have just been on to his site see how it's going to find out he spent all day yesteday, helping someone who needed it fucking damsel in distress rather than spending any time with me . Lots of thanks hun xxxx from her.

Oh and it was all in the open on the forums btw, not hidden, so nothing like that.

I know IABU so flame me, I need to have my head screwed back on again. Irrational jealous is not usually my bag, but then neither are mood swings

OP posts:

Report

granhands · 27/09/2010 10:06

You are allowed to be U, you are pregnant. However I don't think you are.

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 10:08

Have you let yourself go? It's common in pregnancy and probably explains him being attracted elsewhere. Try making a bit of an effort.

emmyloulou · 27/09/2010 10:14

No hully I haven't thanks for your input though .

OP posts:

GeekOfTheWeek · 27/09/2010 10:18

yanbu

1234ThumbWar · 27/09/2010 10:20

Hully - are you serious?

It sounds like you need to talk to him and explain how you feel, sometimes people just don't think. He was probably just being a bit thoughtless.

Booboobedoo · 27/09/2010 10:24

lol@hully.

Is this your first pregnancy? If so, he's probably in massive denial.

In fact, I remember my friend's DH being in complete denial the secoind time around too.

I'm in no position to advise, as I'm 35 weeks pregnant and phoned my DH at work this morning to rant at him about something that was not in any way his fault.

I'm preparing to eat humble pie when he comes out of his meeting.

stressedout29 · 27/09/2010 10:24

Hully is obviously perfect!

My DH felt a bit lost in the last stages of my pregnancy and threw himself into anything he could just to feel useful as there was nothing he could do for me.

It seems innocent but if you have talked about it his priorities should have been to spend time with you.

emmyloulou · 27/09/2010 10:27

No it's our 4th which is probably why he is in massive denial, he asked to have another though!

I'll talk to him later, once my hormonal rage has calmed as I too would just let rip boo!

OP posts:

NordicPrincess · 27/09/2010 10:41

you are not being unreasonable. and ieven if you were you are allowed. as its your 4th he should be aware of your allowances and fully expect them! lol

Hully, what a horribel thing to say! are you a man!

fedupofnamechanging · 27/09/2010 10:43

I'm a great believer in taking care of your own first and everyone else after. If your DH had completed all his own work and had been spending lots of time with you and the DCs, then it would be okay to give a hand to someone who needed it.

However, that hasn't been the case. The 'thanks hun xxxx' messages would make me want to throw up tbh.

So YANBU. Tell him you are pissed off and tell him why. Imo it is wrong for someone to fart arse about doing stuff for another woman, while not taking care of business at home!

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 10:43

No, I certainly am not a man. I just think there is a bit of an attitude on here that being pregnant is like a get out of jail free card. It's still important to make an effort and remember that first and foremost you are your dh's lover, not an incubator in a large stained top.

NordicPrincess · 27/09/2010 10:48

no first and foremost she is a human being with emotions and feelings! not a dressed up shag hole for her dh! her dh should have some consideration for the fact she is pregnant anyway as its her that has to carry the child!

goodness me im glad i dont know any men that think the way you do!

Chil1234 · 27/09/2010 10:50

"goodness me im glad i dont know any men that think the way you do!"

You do, actually. They just don't say it out loud.

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 10:50

Sometimes it's not surprising that men look elsewhere for a bit of warmth and comfort.

emmyloulou · 27/09/2010 11:00

Hully you ar trying hard to get a bite, you won't from me, evn if I am in a pissed off mood

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 27/09/2010 11:03

It's a bit difficult to be glamourous and exciting when you are heavily pregnant and looking after 3 children, while your husband fucks about tending to the 'needs' of some other woman.

The OP has said already that she has been trying to spend quality time with her DH, before the baby arrives, so sounds to me like she is making an effort. That will only work though if her DH is also making an effort. Sounds to me like he isn't.

The OP also points out that her DH wanted another baby. Seems to me the least he can do is spend time with/take care of the person actually having the baby.

NordicPrincess · 27/09/2010 11:03

very true chill im just pleased i dont know any who say it or act on it!

Shodan · 27/09/2010 11:05

Hully. Stop being norty.

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 11:05

oh all right then

Shodan · 27/09/2010 11:07

ChippingIn · 27/09/2010 11:16

Ignore Hully - she livens up most threads :) She's rude, nasty, forthright and a bit of a bitch at times....

I miss her when she doesn't post

No, YANBU. My Ex is now married to one of the Damsels in Distress - 'Oh you're so wonderful, thank you Hun xxx' 's

Tell him to stop being such a twat - all day Sunday ignoring you and the kids to help some damsels...

taintedpaint · 27/09/2010 11:21

The message sounds innocent and just the way some women talk, it really doesn't look like it means anything dodgy. But you are very pregnant (congratulations!) and you are allowed to have a slightly unreasonable reaction to something like that, especially if your DH hasn't been spending any time with you.

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emmyloulou · 27/09/2010 19:19

Well I am not just annoyed now, fucking furious infact.

He has ignored what I said to him earlier and not made a single effort when he walked in the door, kiss, hello, nothing straight on there to answer this wossy plea for help.

This is a problem isn't it?

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 27/09/2010 22:23

I think it might be, yes.
I'm sorry. This is not what you want to deal with when you are pg (or at all).
In your position I would have a very blunt discussion with him. If nothing else, I would want to know where I stood. Even if he can't see this is a problem, the fact that you do should make him change what he is doing. If he won't, then yes, you do have a problem.

ChippingIn · 27/09/2010 23:38

Yes.

On several counts.

Basically - what Karma said really.... nothing much else I can say.

Don't let it slide, you need to talk to him x

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