She moved to an area a little way away, probably about 10 - 15 mins drive, about 3 years ago. At first we all made the effort to go visit, she would come into our area to see us, it was give and take. We were very close then, I was her bridesmaid.
Since then however, she has had a baby, and I remained single while all our other close friends had kids. This never really bothered me, but I think subconsciously it did her (and the others too probably) as she seemed to feel I didnt like children. Thats untrue btw, I just wanted to find the right man! We've seen less and less of each other and she has gravitated towards new friends with children of their own.
I am now pregnant (6 months) and thought she would warm to me seeing that I was now in her situation. And at first that was true, she asked me how I was etc, promised me books she had and advice. But since then Ive text her a few times asking to meet up, offering to do her dinner at my place, cinema, coffee etc and always am met with either a blank, a short 'cant make it' and never an offer of an alternative. Ive even still got her little ones birthday present from last month to give her and she knows it. Ive also seen on FB that shes very keen to meet up with a joint friend of ours who is also as pregnant as me (who I actually thought she didnt like - as she has mentioned before that she's flighty, not going to settle down, 'crazy' etc) Im sure she must have said the same of me to that friend!
I'd just like some outsiders view. Its the end isnt it?
AIBU?
to think my friend is probably phasing me out?
Mammie81 · 01/09/2010 16:22
I would ask her only if you want to have relationship with her otherwise don't bother - not worth it. She does not sound worth the hassle. When one door closes and all that 
Incidentally, to illustrate how she can take these things to heart, recently someone she doesnt even like deleted her from FB. Instead of taking it on the chin, she invited her as a friend again and was accepted. She was once again deleted and has said 'I just dont know how Im going to be civil to her'.
ps, I hate FB too but it is good for stalking and the like, admit it
She might end up like my one-time best friend.
We've never fallen out, just drifted farther and farther apart- but we usually remember our kid's birthdays and meet up once a year-but it's purely because our kids get on really well 
and we both occasionally get nostalgic for our youth.
Maybe she genuinely is abit busy? Some people seem to come and go in my life - will have a phase of seeing a friend alot then not so much then we kind of "pick up" again. Try not to analyse though know its hard not to.
Bet you meet lots of new parents in your area when you have the baby have you joined NCT/NHS classes etc? I also found I made new friends in baby clinics and baby massage classes and baby groups. Eventually you will be so busy in your new life you won't give her a second thought 
.
By situation, I mean that we are now both mothers and settled. Which is something she values.
I also wondered if she was just busy but last week after a short text thread I said We must meet up, Ive still got your LO's bday pressie! and got no response from then on. I think thats fairly indicative... 
True about new friends though and thats something I am def looking forward to!
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.