to expect my 3.6 yo to be able to entertain herself at least sometimes?

[Upsy1981]

I really don't know the answer to this one and whether I am expecting too much of her. My dd is 3.6 yo and very rarely plays alone. She might do so while I am cleaning up in the morning (and even this can't be guaranteed, sometimes she would rather follow me about looking forlorn!) but as soon as I have nothing to do and put my feet up for a cuppa, she is demanding that I play with her. She also seems to struggle deciding what she wants to do to entertain herself and needs me to make constant suggestions. I am getting rather exhausted and would like to be able to read a magazine or a chapter of a book while she plays happily. I feel like I am losing my own identity to games of Sylvanian Families!

What I really want to know is, is it reasonable to expect her to do this or is this fairly normal for her age (and if so, any ideas when this might change?)?

I have to say I do think that I am quite a lot to blame for this as when she was younger I must confess to not leaving her alone for a second, always encouraging her to do one activity then the next whereas DH was much happier to leave her and let her be.

I must stress that I am happy to play with her some of the time, like today we have played snap, read endless books, imagined we were on a boat (her bed was the boat) and played with some of her stuffed toys imagining they are a family, but I still feel guilty and she would still have liked me to do more.

So AIBU?

[SloanyPony]

I dont know if they are born or made...but neither of mine are that way. I'm the kind of person who is up and down like a jack-in-the-box, so they'd get put on their mat to play alone reguarly as young ones and with my second child it was even worse, I'd just get my first child to entertain her!

I'd ease her into it if I were you. Throw some money at the problem with new sparkly pens and a whole ream of A4 paper stolen from the office that you have acquired and encourage her to get on with it.

If she asks you to play, give her a quick, general suggestion of what to do and tell her you'll check in on her in 15 minutes.

Its not unreasonable at her age. That's the "good age" where you've done the hard bit unless you are me and never bothered and should be able to reap the benefits.

[FloraFinching]

my DD is 3.4, and will play by herself for 30mins or so. However, this is at times of her choosing, not at my convenience.

the only thing that works for us is speculating to accumulate. So if I need 30 minutes to get on with something, we'll spend at least that long playing together before I go off to do it, so she's had enough of an attention fix to keep her going.

[Adair]

I think there might be some individual character trait in there. My two both play fairly independently a lot of the time but dd is more independent than ds who prefers me to gaze adoringly at whatever he is doing . But I do think you can encourage her to play on her own by simply not being available...

Definitely ok to give a suggestion and 'start her off' then say 'right, now I have to go wash up/put washing out/go on MN. Come and show me in a minute.'

Oh, but don't forget they play a thousand times better on their own when you are just pottering around than when you actually have to get something done and NEED them to just get on with something .