To get angry with my DH when he snores all night?

[expatpud]

I'll be honest, just needing to have a rant here, girls. He snores practically all night, and not normally. It's a noise like concorde breaking the sound barrier, and it's even worse if he's had a drink. I lie there nudging him for about the first hour trying to get him to either shut up or roll over in the hope that it might be slightly quieter, not always is. I then get that angry with him I possibly keep myself awake thinking of ways to cut off his air supply. I have to get up at the crack of dawn with the kids, while he slumbers soundly for at least another hour or two. Then when he finally drags himself from his pit he has the cheek to tell me what a bad night sleep he's had!!!! It was really broken!!!! Broken?! When was it broken? You spent all night lying on your back snorting like some giant hog! The only thing that's going to be broken is your nose if you carry on!

[compo]

Have you got a spare room?

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

sleep apnea can be dangerous

he should consult his GP and get treatment

have a read

[Dropdeadfred]

Tbh - YANBU
BUT - hyour dh may well wake up feeling awful because he is not geting enough oxygen due to his bad snoring

ALSO - why do YOU have to get up while he still sleeps??

[MimsyStarr]

YANBU. It is a form of torture. I know where you are coming from!! at 'giant hog'. hee hee

DH snores too, though not as loud as you've described. I keep at him to go and see about getting a CPAP machine - I hear they are much quieter these days. I would much rather listen to the soft gurgle of a CPAP than his unpredictable bursts of snoring. He has sleep apnoea - I've witnessed it many times, and he believes me. He just won't go see the GP. (he is a doctor, they are the worst for looking after themselves, grr.)

I sleep with earplugs many nights. Though I don't like to do this, because I often don't hear DS in the morning.

Will your DH go to the doctor about this??

[IHeartJohnLewis]

YABU not to murder him instead of just getting angry.

Seriously, I share your pain. We now sleep in separate rooms, and I am happy again. So is DH, as he no longer has me staring daggers at him over breakfast, and making pointed remarks about what a Very Bad Night I've had. Win-win.

[expatpud]

I even mention that he snores (not even how loud) and he gets all huffy about it. His brother has stopped with us a few times and has took the p*s and it's turned into a full blown row. So he won't even admit that he does it to himself let alone a doctor.

drop dead fred: I end up getting up with the kids because once they're awake I find it difficult to go back to sleep because it's what I've been used to since feeding them as babies. In other words DH has been spoilt.

[expatpud]

BoysAreLikeDogs - now I've read that I actually feel sorry for him, b**cks...

[Dropdeadfred]

Expatpud - well, considering you are being sleep deprived due to a problem of dh's that he refuses to acknowledge or seek help for, perhaps he can now start taking HIS turn to give you a much needed lie-in???

[singsinthebath]

I'm with IheartJL - DH gets kicked out in the spare room. I miss not waking up next to him and having a cuddle. But I don't miss the decibels. And we both have a better night's sleep.

Do you have a spare room OP?

[Hai1988]

yudnbu!! I know ur pain, mine is evan worse as he talks aswell and sometimes shouts and amkes me jump!!!!

One night we had a full blown argument when he was asleep !!!

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

he must go to the doctor

can you scare him into it?

here

even if he is embarrassed, he is being a selfish pig by not getting treatment

[pjmama]

Some dentists make anti snoring devices that are worn at night and work wonders for certain types of snorers. I think they're called Sleepwell or something. Possibly worth checking out before resorting to actual violence!

[wildfig]

My boyfriend refuses to believe he snores, despite making the sort of deafening gruntage Health and Safety would slap a Noise Pollution cease and desist order on.

To vent my 4am irritation, I recorded some of his more nerve-shredding efforts one weekend away using the Voice Recorder thing on my iPhone, then forgot about it - until I had my iPod playing through some speakers, and his warthog-with-megaphone impression was shuffled on between Lady Gaga and Led Zeppelin. 'What's THAT?" he guffawed. 'Next door's building work? Jeez!'.

He is now taking my red-eyed exhaustion more seriously. But not seriously enough to lose weight and/or go to the doctor.

[barkfox]

expatpud I feel your pain, and YANBU. My DP is a shocking snorer - not much point even moving rooms at night as there is NOWHERE in our 3 bed house where he can't be heard, when in full snort. And it's a truly awful sound - like an effortful death rattle. I honestly don't know how a human makes a noise like that.

Like wildfig's snorer, he didn't take it seriously until I recorded it - on a phone, with video, and a radio playing in the b/g to give some idea of 'scale' of sound. He was embarrassed and annoyed, but I pointed out that me simply saying it was a big problem apparently didn't count, so he'd forced me into 'evidence gathering.'

A mouth thing like this - www.stopsnoring.co.uk/stopsnoring/snoremate.html has helped a lot. Still bad if he lies on his back, but a lot quieter if he's on his side, mouthpiece in. He got it from boots, I think, after I threw a big, sleep deprived teary tantrum and threatened to go and check into a hotel in the middle of the night.... ahem.

He also gets a much better night's sleep with it in. I honestly think a full night's snoring really restricted his breathing, and he was waking tired. Took a bit of getting used to, but he did make the effort.

He also tried an anti-snore spray (did nothing), and an anti-snore pillow (did nothing - it was supposed to alter the angle of his his head, to keep the airways open better, but doesn't work if you move around in sleep).

I did point out that ANY pillow would stop snoring if applied enthusiastically to the snorer's face for long enough....

Good luck.

[MrsDinky]

I feel your pain, we have no spare room to retreat too, and our sofa is too small to sleep on. I go to bed first normally, so long as I get to sleep before he comes to bed it is OK. But, if like last night, I am worried about something and tossing and turning, it is greatly annoying when he comes to bed, gets in and within 5 mins has turned into the aforementioned giant hog. Uset to drive me nuts when DCs woke in the night, even if he did get up I usually woke too, then he would go straight back to sleep and leave me wide awake listening to it....

[Antidote]

I feel your pain. DH is the temperature of a thermonuclear reactor, a massive sleep-twitcher and a snore-and-stopper.
Apparently I have an unreasonable aversion to falling asleep with the radio on, an unhealthy obsession with having a window open and unnaturally cold feet so we think we are even.

I too resorted to bringing a dictaphone home from work and recording him. It wasn't so much the snores that alarmed him, but the gaps where he stops breathing for seconds at a time.

We now agree that when the snoring gets too loud I wake him up and roll him onto his side, which helps but does not completely stop the problem. I also have ear plugs and bed socks .

[ihearthuckabees]

OP - I am a very light sleeper, and everything keeps me awake, and although DH's snoring is mildish, it drives me batty. Even the sound of the duvet rustling wakes me up!

I resorted to earplugs but only big hard plastic ones were effective enough until I discovered ...

Quies foam earplugs. They are French, but you can buy them from Amazon.co.uk. They look like any other foam plugs, but they are so much better. Don't know why, but they really work, and they're really comfy. You don't really notice you're wearing them.

Not sure if they could hold off concorde, but they could possibly significantly dull the sound of wart hog.

[Dillie]

Op - I share your pain, and I too have no spare room to hide in!

Is your dh a big chap? My dh is, although he is trying his hardest to lose the excess, and I have noticed an improvement in his snoring.

I am fine if I get to sleep first. I tend to go up to bed around 30mins before he does, so I can get to sleep.

There are all sorts of things you can try. But I do find a short sharp thump to dh's ribs, very effective I did see something like attaching tennis balls to the back of pj's or a t-shirt to stop them rolling on their backs.

See if he will go to the docs ... could be an underlying reason for the warthog noises!

[barkfox]

dillie, I'd totally forgotten, and you've reminded me -

Years ago, I read a tip in a women's magazine about 'how to stop your husband snoring' - and it advised sewing cotton reels down the back of one's husband's pyjama jacket, in a line, like a kind of cotton-reel 'exo-spine', in order to stop them rolling onto their backs at night (worst snorey position).

Interesting idea, if (a) your DP wears a neatly fitted PJ jacket, (b) you can be bothered, AND have enough cotton reels going spare, and (c) you think you might enjoy a sort of 'stegosauros' look on your DP.

[iceandlemon]

Ouch - snoring! My DP only snores occasionally but I have found that sticking my finger in his open mouth usually shuts him up - literally - it makes him close his mouth and stops the snoring. For a few minutes at least...

[JuJusDad]

[nagoo]

Video him.

[MrsDinky]

One of the the worst nights we ever had was when we had to make do with a twin bedded B&B for a wedding, at least in a double bed you can thump, pinch, kick, whatever, in a twin on the other side of the room there is nothing you can do except throw stuff.