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AIBU?

to let primary school know I don't like the tone of DS school report (reception class)

61 replies

dietstartstmoz · 13/07/2010 13:28

Hi, don't know if to post this in Primary educ or not?
Anyhow, DS aged 5 got his reception report yesterday. he has achieved above all his targets, and has scored very highly on the National Framework scores. He has enjoyed his first yr at school and we are happy with the school, no probs with him.
We appreciate he is not a 'perfect' child, he is a lovely, normal boy like his peers and has things he needs to work on, but he is very bright and a happy boy.
His report is a page of teacher comments, which are just a bit bland, his achievements and what he can do well are commentated on, but then followed with a 'when he chooses, or when he likes it'. Even from the first sentence. There is just a bland, general negative tone to the report. My DH and I just feel it does not recognise his achievements and what he can do well, enough. There are lots of positives, and he can do this well and is very good at this, but there is no warmth, or any sense that the teacher knows what his likes and dislikes are, or what he is like. There are no examples of work he has done well, or struggles with, just a series of statements that could have been cut and pasted.
There is an opportunity to go in and talk to the teacher about the national framework scales tmorrow, but both of us are at work (DH going to see if he can go but unlikely).
There is a reply page for comments, and I originally wasn't going to reply, but this mmorning I asked a mum whose DS is in the same class about his report (she said she was quite pleased), I started to explain about how I felt and another parent, a complete stranger stopped me and said his son's was the same-negative-and he not happy, his DS is in Yr1. So now don't know if it's the schools general style, or just those teachers.
I have seen my friends DD's reception report and hers is lovely, with lots of references to what she enjoys doing in class, and what she does well and a lovely teacher comment saying how much she has enjoyed blah blah and how she has made her laugh with her funny stories about her dog, so showing that she knows that child and her personality.
AIBU and a precious mother about my DS, or should i tell them I think his achievements and what he does well should be celebrated more, and then give points for development?
Comments welcome cos don't know what to do, don't wants to come across as a puchy mom, as i'm not but just feel the report is typical of the teacher and her personality and style.

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dietstartstmoz · 13/07/2010 13:29

sorry should have added that friends DD goes to a different school and has a report that would bring a tear to the eye it's so lovely. Sorry for the epic post!!!

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Ragwort · 13/07/2010 13:33

Sorry to be blunt but your post does come accross as being very precious about your DS. The report sounds pretty good to me ! I suggest you try and arrange a mutually convenient time to see the teacher to discuss things face to face if you have genuine concerns.

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Sparks · 13/07/2010 13:34

Not unreasonable, but a bit of a waste of time IMO.

What would you be hoping to achieve by doing this? Get the teacher to rewrite the report according to your suggestions? Get the school to change the instructions it gives to teachers about report writing?

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Morloth · 13/07/2010 13:35

"AIBU and a precious mother about my DS..." Yes

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Chil1234 · 13/07/2010 13:36

I don't think it's reasonable to expect school reports to be gushing and filled with personal details. They exist as a record for performance.... some comment on progress, areas to work on. The parent consultation evenings are a much better place to discuss individual personality and 'funny stories about dogs' etc.

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deaconblue · 13/07/2010 13:37

The report probably was cut and pasted. The first school I worked at had a cut and paste system that was compulsory for reports and only looked at academic achievements and targets. It was impossible to say anything personal and was ghastly. I would ask the teacher in charge of assessment (or headteacher in a small school)if it is a computer generated report before deciding whether or not to complain to the class teacher.

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skinnymalinki · 13/07/2010 13:39

Personally I would leave it.
September comes round soon enough bringing a new class teacher with different teaching styles and a different personality which may suit your child better than the Reception teacher he has just had.

You have years of this to come, some they get on with and you adore, some you dont. All part of life. Providing no problems have been flagged up all is good and you've all survived the first year, well done.

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PortiaNovmerriment · 13/07/2010 13:39

I would be fairly neutral about it and say something like "I'm pleased that x is doing well from what I could tell, but I'm a bit disappointed that the report seems to have been written using just a statement bank, as I was looking forward to keeping his report from nursery to show him when he's older." Then just see what they say.

Not much, would be my guess. It is a shame that reports are mostly written like this nowadays- time pressures etc etc. Quite sad, IMO.

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ZZZenAgain · 13/07/2010 13:39

I think I would leave it, the report mentions positive achievements and if there is no warmth in it, well tbh I don't think it is something you could request.

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lucykate · 13/07/2010 13:41

yes, it's upsetting to be made to feel that way about your child, but if you speak to the teacher/head about it, what exactly are you hoping to achieve? do you want it changing?

it is only a reception report, it's not going to be referred to in any future interviews or cv's.

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titchy · 13/07/2010 13:41

The comments are bland but accurate yes? Reflect his abilities? You know how funny/clever/witty he is yes? He won't have this teacher again? Will he be asked to produce this report in his UCAS application?

So the point of telling this teacher is what exactly?

And they will have been cut and pasted in part at least! You try writing 30 individual reports every year for several years without repeating the same phrases - there aren't enough words in the English language!

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Prinpo · 13/07/2010 13:42

It's really hard to do, I know, but I would take it with a pinch of salt. Some teachers put more effort into reports and you get a real sense of them knowing your child, others do a cut and paste job.

Furthermore, I have a theory that little boys don't suit reception teachers as much as little girls (I have two DDS so not biased in favour of boys). I've spent quite a bit of time in our school and the boys just seem to move around and do their own thing more than the girls. Some teachers find this harder to deal with and get a bit pissed off with the boys, even if they're bright, lovely little things.

I'd play a long game. You're at that school for a while, you won't change the teacher's practice and I would be inclined to pick my battles.

FWIW, he sounds fab and you know he's fab.

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lucykate · 13/07/2010 13:43

and don't forget, chunks of these reports are copied and pasted. i know because one year, dd's name changed half way through hers and it started talking about another child!

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dietstartstmoz · 13/07/2010 13:49

Thanks everyone for the comments, yes he's fab, not it won't be his UCAS statement or future CV! Yes, I thin the teacher places more emphasis on the 'nice quiet' activites, and not the boisterious boys. I will reply, with a 'we are very happy with ds progress and he enjoys school, but would have liked more expamples of his work and what he can do well, espec linked to national framework'. We only got a sheet with the levels he has achieved on, we went into the web to get the framework levels and what they mean, as 'level 7/8/9' means nothing in isolation. Thanks again.

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timmyinatizzy · 13/07/2010 13:52

You'll probably find the same sentences in other childrens reports. My DSD's reports often said the same thing for each of the subjects, except for Maths and English. But then again they are twins and have been in the same class throughout primary school

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GooseyLoosey · 13/07/2010 13:53

I think if you are concerned that there is something that the teacher wanted to say and is not being said, you should ask. Just casually say, appreciate all of your effort etc. was just wondering whether there is anything in particicular I should be aware of in relation to ds?

Reason I say this is that ds also had a report like this and everything was not really fine and I wished I had dig deeper at the time to find out what the problem was.

However, if you think it is just the teacher's tone, I would leave it.

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dietstartstmoz · 13/07/2010 13:56

Thanks goosey, that's a good point i'll do that.

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llareggub · 13/07/2010 13:59

They might mean nothing in isolation but you've already said that there is an opportunity to talk to the teacher about the national framework scales, haven't you?

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curryfreak · 13/07/2010 14:14

Do you realize how many of these reports teachers have to write?
The report sounds good overall. What is it you want from the teacher, to be gushing and therefore not very professional imo?
YABU , and a bit precious.

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Ladyanonymous · 13/07/2010 14:17

Most teachers use a computer program to write them.

They7 are still accuarte even if they do use the same phrases.

What did you want it to contain?

A request from the teacher to adopt him?

YABU.

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ArcticRoll · 13/07/2010 14:20

YABVU

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MorrisZapp · 13/07/2010 14:21

Blimey times have changed since I was in school.

Linking a 5 year old's achievements to a national framework?

I guess I have all this ahead of me. OP, you obviously love your DS to bits but you sound a bit U if you expect a little kid's school report to be a glowing and personal tribute to his many facets.

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witchwithallthetrimmings · 13/07/2010 14:25

completely understand where the op is coming from, it is horrid to read something that about your child that has no warmth in it at all. yanbu or precious at all. BUT there is really nothing that you can do about it

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scaryteacher · 13/07/2010 14:28

YABU and PFB

'but then followed with a 'when he chooses, or when he likes it'. Even from the first sentence. There is just a bland, general negative tone to the report. ' and this phrase may well reoccur throughout his schooling. Perhaps there is a problem with him following instructions, or the teacher feels that he could do better. However, this is something you find on the report of many boys. Ds (in Year 10 from Sept) has it on his, and I lost track of the time I wrote it on reports for bright but underachieving (lazy in many instances) boys.

What his likes and dislikes are OP is quite frankly irrelevant to a teacher; I didn't stop setting essays because the students disliked them and liked playing on a PS3.

You have acknowledged there are positives on there; it is a school report, so there will be some points to improve on (targets) and perhaps getting him to do what is required whether he likes it or not is one of those.

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ChippingIn · 13/07/2010 14:30

I think a lot of you are being a bit harsh!

I'm sure what the OP was hoping for from the teacher's report was something that showed the teacher knew her son, mentioned how he was in the class and something that was descriptive not bland - as her friends child had.

He might not use it for his CV or whatever, but it's his first 'big school' report and some people like to keep things like that and it's nice if it's nice... or at least reflective of the child!

OP - I wouldn't say anything though, it's just the luck of the draw between the teachers that take the time to do things well and the ones that just rush them out. It's not that hard to write 20 odd reception year reports.

[This, of course, is not aimed at the lovely teachers who would like to write nice reports but are restricted by school policy.]

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